Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr, May, Jun, Jul, Aug, Sep, Oct, Nov, Dec, Sma

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m07hwwhVlR1qcbx7lo1_500.png

We could have 2-letter appreviations if not for those bastard months march, may, june, and july!

abreviations, even!

Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.)

LOL

JA
FEBR
MARC
A
MAYY
JU
JU 2
ARGH
S
O
NO-V
DECEMB

Ugh, every once in a while you see those fiscal year calendars and the like that have the months abbreviated like J F M Ap Ju J Au S O N D and those are just some bullshit.

hot sauce bottles that make some kind of joke about how your ass is going to hurt as a result of their use.

http://www.hotsauceplanet.com/humorous-funny-hot-sauces-snacks-s/72.htm?searching=Y&sort=5&cat=72&show=100&page=1

16-month Calendars.

Like, who buys a calendar in July and just sits patiently staring at the same page for four months? "Can't wait until January to look at that SNOW SCENE!"

You could say, "it's more of a reference in case you wanted to see what the date was on Labor Day blab blah blah" but then it would make more sense to give the extra four months to January-April of the next year, since sometimes, it takes awhile to get around buying another calendar.

TV Guide should publish the last four days from the last issue, just in case you wanted to go back and check to see who played in the afternoon game on CBS.

JFMApJuJAuSON

x-p
I've always assumed those were going-away-to-college calendars.

I'm just going to start buying calendars for my kids beginning next month. That way, when they get to college, they can bring their calendar from home and not have to look at some low-rent 4-on-1 page for their first semester.

I can hear my daughter's excuse now: "I missed my Calc class because the numbers on my calendar were really small."

the 16-monthers don't do 4-on-1-page for Sep-Dec, do they? I've only seen them with 16 full page months. They're also usful for teachers to hang in their classrooms, that way they preserve the continuity and don't confuse the students with a switch in Jan.

This is the first calendar I had on hand to use:

http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt203/pplains/12-16.jpg

Pretty much lines up with every other 16-monther I've seen.

I guess I've never really looked at many of them, but I remember them having 16 pages. Next time I'm in Barnes & Noble . . .

I want to key every car that parks or idles or stops in the bike lane.

Had a bicycle coming at me in my outside lane, on a five-lane avenue.

Had to dodge some guy setting out tools on a balustrade on the interstate.

I didn't kill anyone today, so pat me on the back for being such a safe driver.

http://fridayfunnylol.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/allstatestand.png

"Good job, pplains."

When you open a 2-DVD set and Disc 1 is on the right hand side.

the messi goals compilation some worthless degenerate has made that is linked everywhere today and has a distorted cropped/stretched aspect ratio despite the original material all being widescreen

Once again, store workers who don't know what the fuck they're talking about, but who don't let that stop them from explaining everything. Current instance: When I brought my jigsaw in to Home depot, the power tools guy told me:

- The blade holder (shank) was the "T" type, which you could tell b/c "You see this part right here [a part that was NOT the shank] is shaped kinda like a T." He was fucking wrong, and I bought the wrong blades.

- I returned the blades and asked for help finding the right ones, and they called him to help, again. He told me, no, those are right, and they did fit into the shank. I said, no, they don't, and when I sawed, the blade came right out. He said the saw was probably just too old, and they didn't make blades for it anymore. ;sdkfjWF;KJL

I asked someone else, who opened the packages and tested them until he found me the right blades.

home depot is a vaccuum of helpfulness. which is insane bcz what kind of store has more ppl asking for help than hardware stores

i hate the staff there so much i want to run at them whenever i see them

idiots

Isn't their advertising tagline "You've got questions, we've got answers"?

OTOH, I was amazed the other day when I heard a Target employee giving very thorough and accurate counsel on their LCD and LED TVs to a customer.

Uh, I've heard that thorough and accurate business and it was obviously a script. A somewhat less-than-bright Target employee was trying to be helpful when my friend and I were picking up a blu-ray player for a present and it was excruciatingly bad. "Most newer tvs have HDMI now, it does video and sound" and despite our indications we knew what we were doing and my friend's constant sarcastic rejoinders he would not leave us alone.

In the hands of a more nuanced salesperson, the sales guide may have been less of a hindrance

Bleh. Well it sounded good. She was explaining what refresh rates were. I think in this case she might have just happened to be knowledgeable b/c she was like a TV enthusiast or something.

I just remembered another Home Depot idiot. I asked for wood-hardener (to make semi-rotted wood firm up so you could put nails or screws into it) and he "explained" to me that there was no such thing b/c once wood was rotted, it was useless, but it sounded like this "wood hardener" would be nice, if it existed. (It exists and it is pretty nice.)

wood hardener

i needed help for something once (i cant remember what) - two helpers told me two different (totally wrong) things & i was so confused i went back out to my car, looked the shit up myself on my phone & found what i needed myself. dickwagons.

Yes, I know. I call my local Home Depot "Homo Depot" b/c it's by Boystown, and it's staffed by a number of gay men, so sometimes I feel awkward asking for a screw, caulk, wood hardener, or a variable-speed throat-fucking. xp or a dickwagon

lol

yeah if u need ever need a dickwagon or two home depot is def the place

How else would I get those bags of dicks home to eat?

hee hee

still lol-ing at "variable-speed throat fucking" tbh

Super busy Christmas shopping buy-panic at St. Pancras. A motorised trolley, like a little tuktuk or tractor towing several luggage wagons weaves its way through the crowd. I kind of move and stop to let it come through, when I hear a voice behind me. I take my earphones out and look around, and there's a man with a woman standing behind me (it's always a man with a woman, isn't it?) 'excuse me?' I ask.
You're in the way'
'I'm letting this trolley and other people through'
But too late, he's barged past me (nearly throwing me in the path of the trolley thing) yanking his perturbed-looking girlfriend or wife along with him.
I haven't quite felt that livid with a member of the public in quite some time, so much so that I yelled out 'ASSHOLE!' after him across the station (Quite loudly might i add, and yes the American variant as it sounded somehow better for that situation. He really was an asshole.

What do the british say instead of "ass, gas, or grass?"

arse, petrol, or...

- when people say "I wish I was dead" instead of "I wish I were dead"
- the guy at Whole Foods bemoaning their lack of organic berries in Chicago in December

kill them imo

Had to stop yesterday for some last minute baking ingredients at Giant Eagle. On the way out of the store I was behind a woman pushing a cart. As she approached the door where all the carts are lined up, she pushed it in front of a product display, took her bag, and walked away. She literally would have had to push it about six more feet, in the directon she was walking, to put it back into the line. It may have been the laziest thing I've ever seen.

Then, to add to my irrational anger, I got so peeved I grabbed to cart to push it back into the cart line, and as I was turning it around -- which required me to back up a step or two -- some guy behind me shoved around me with an exasperated sigh, because I delayed him for all of two seconds.

Merry fucking Christmas, assholes!

- Everything, for some reason. What is wrong with my brain chemistry today?? I want to throttle everyone.

But on the somewhat more rational anger tip: Someone left a faucet running full-force in the bathroom at my gym. I thought the guy using the mirror next to it was using it, but he walked away from it without touching it. Then 2 other guys used that mirror, but left the tap running. WTF.

- the lie that is chlorine-resistant swimwear

not even innocuous, just straight up assholish behaviour

idiots who pull into small, hard to navigate parking lots and decide that because all the parking spaces are full that they will just idle the car and duck into the store rather than trying to find a park somewhere else adjacent.

L-shaped parking lot with only one entrance/exit, three cars trying to navigate around this FUCKING ASSHOLE and we're all trapped because no-one can get in or out now until she moves her stupid car. I mean seriously. and she left her daughter or someone in the passenger seat who has to sit there giving everyone apologetic looks while she tries to call the stupid woman on her phone

Here are some things

- Philadelphia is mostly entirely one-way streets with parking on one or both sides; most do not have bike lanes
- Pennsylvania has a law where in order to pass a cyclist, a car must have a minimum of 4ft clearance btwn it and the cyclist

No one obeys this and people will routinely blow by me giving less than 2ft or even 1ft of room, and it pisses me off *so fucking much*. I flip each and every one of them off w/o exception.

I pretty much bike in the middle of the road now.

Good! If cars won't treat you safely, take the lane. If PA is like OH, you're permitted the entire lane anyway. Anyone doesn't like it, fuck 'em. Speed limits are a limit, not a right to go a certain speed,

Some dude at Chipotle wanted his rice and corn without cilantro, holding up the line by two minutes, an eternity in Chipotle time. Which I could have lived with but he pronounced it ci-LAN-tro and kept saying it over and over I don't want ci-LAN-tro in my rice that's fine as long as there's no ci-LAN-tro in it you're sure no ci-LAN-tro ARGGGGH

how else do you pronounce cilantro?

Ci lahn tro versus sounding like "land"

slantro

mh CORRECT

Co-ree-ander