Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

O_oh my Christ.....

also, she puts masking tape over all of her light switches at home because she prefers lamps.

How did this come up??

TBH I'm 100% behind her on preferring lamps over overhead lights, but I also prefer not having ugly ass tape stuck to my light switches.

There were many uncomfortable moments so it was definitely an opportunity for me to agree that I, too, prefer lamps.

I have no idea how it came up. It was non sequitur city from the second she walked in.

oh she just gets more and more hilarious and awesome. the Weekender thing sounds like mother-in-law.
how old is this woman?

I don't know...65 or so probably

ah. not to be ageist but say no more, lol

but please, if you have more, say it. I find her fascinating!

when i walked in she was sitting down. she stood up to shake my hand but fell back down when our hands met.

"wooooooooo! ooops!"

^^^all-time great opening line for a short story right there

"i love editing! i make sure that everything is grammatic!"

http://www.sptimes.com/2003/12/09/images/large/C_1_gramatica_174762_1209.jpg

xpost lolol

wish i could remember what else she said. for 30 minutes straight, she just said ridiculous things.

one strange thing was that she was originally scheduled to interview yesterday and requested that it be rescheduled - because she accepted a job elsewhere in our Agency and yesterday was her first day! (?!?!?!?)

omg

maybe she was like well i just accepted this other job, so i might as well go to the interview and be weird because fuck it yolo

ha

yeah, i mean i sorta get the reasoning, maybe she wanted to accept the other one just to make sure she had it, but was more excited about this one or something. it might fly in the private sector or something, but when you all work as part of the same organization it would be kind of weird. like, i can't imagine if we hired someone and then two days later found out that another part of the Agency had hired her away!

btw as i was typing that my boss came up and as i'm talking to her i realize the words "Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers" are behind my head

uhhh...i'm talking about my cow..workers...it's a WoW thing...uh

that's an awesome reverse of a lol-facepalm incident I witnessed

years ago in my old publishing job, my airheaded coworker and I were riding home on the train together.
She says quietly, 'I had to give my notice today.' She'd been looking for another job, so I asked her if she had found a job.
And she says tearfully, "No! That's what's so confusing! I just went into Jane (our boss), and I said can I have Friday off, because I have a job interview.'

facepalm

hahahaha

it would be difficult to keep the palm from connecting to the face at that moment

it was beautiful. AND I had to explain to her, in great detail, exactly why this was the stupidest thing in the world to announce to your boss.

That's great -- did the light bulb ever go off over her head?

Once I laid out the math for her. Then her eyes got all big and she put her hand over her mouth and was like 'Ohhhhh!'

xpost

sounds like she put the masking tape over the figurative light switch a long, long time ago

Final footnote to airheaded coworker:

She used to crack me up because always nod at you wide-eyed like a puppy when you were giving instructions and you just knew that nothing was sinking in. And she'd say yes she understood and tell you she'd get right on it and it would almost always be a mess. Her working life was pretty tough, so it was no wonder that she was looking elsewhere.

So the piece de resistance to this whole thing was toward the end of that same train ride, after the whole she's lost her job revelation went down, she told me in passing that she has always had trouble with verbal instructions. She said just can't seem to understand things when they're spoken half as well as when they're written down, she wasn't sure if it was a learning disability but it made things really hard.

...

why didn't you TELL ANYONE?

double facepalm.

Oh, well that part I can understand a little more. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I'm sure some people might be a little embarrassed about it and maybe hesitate to bring it up.

yeah but if it's literally the key to your work life being awful vs bearable, it makes all the difference

people are much more understanding if it helps them AND you and gets shit done

She said just can't seem to understand things when they're spoken half as well as when they're written down...

why didn't you TELL ANYONE?

Or wrote a note to somebody.

eh, aren't you guys forgetting that she couldn't have read your precious written instructions when her lightbulb didn't work?

"Hey Erica,

Is that your large print job at Printer 3? Do you mind printing jobs that size in the copy room? Thanks much, I'm pretty noise sensitive."

Everything about this email is pissing me off. Maybe irrationally so but c'mon we don't work in a library and also SHE IS WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC IT'S NOT THAT LOUD.

she EMAILED that to you?

YES

She sits like two feet away from me too.

definitely file under "if you would feel ridiculous requesting this to someone's face, don't send an email about it"

I would start sending emails after every print job saying "omg I'm so sorry I forgot! I should write this down lol"

Also people are giving out holiday stuff and one of the men I work with just gave me a bag of granola. I know we do health research and stuff and I like granola as much as the next person but that's just sorta weird?

djp otm

you should send back an embedded autoplay youtube of like gangam style or skrillex and just annoy her further

lol bag of granola

some people are so practical/bland as to kill the spirit of the festive season imo

super-positive Mr Nice Guy manager has all these behaviours he learned from business self-help books - the worst of which is TOUCHING MY FUCKING ARM WHENEVER HE TALKS TO ME.

if you touch me again i will kill you

maybe he likes u

http://teamfrancis.emrydesign.com/francis.jpg

I've heard through another co-worker that he's terrified of me lol. So I think this is him trying to win me over.

Pro tip: don't. fucking. touch. me. and we'll be golden.

lol phil

Does he also say your name a lot for no apparent reason, other than he's talking to you? Ooooh, look at Mr Dominant Manager, tryna dominate!

yes

I'm sure if he shook hands with me he would clasp mine within both his hands

He's THAT guy

just a PUA manager, workin on a little kino

i hate u elmo

He's been on a course and he's trying to pass himself off as an alpha. BURN HIM.