Feels like they had that written and ready to go huh
― THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 15 December 2012 03:14 (thirteen years ago)
Rihanna thing was nonsensical to the point of inanity yet hilariously on the nose
― Raymond Cummings, Saturday, 15 December 2012 03:50 (thirteen years ago)
click click click click
― THE NATIONS YOUTH DANCED TO THE MACARANA (innocent) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 15 December 2012 06:57 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-it-okay-to-spend-rest-of-day-curled-in-feta,30741/
Report: It Okay To Spend Rest Of Day Curled In Fetal Position Under Desk
December 14, 2012 | ISSUE 48•50 | More News in Brief
WASHINGTON—Following reports of a mass shooting at a Connecticut elementary school that left 20 children dead, sources just confirmed that it is totally fine to spend the entire rest of today curled up in the fetal position underneath your desk. Early reports also indicated that sitting on the floor while holding your knees to your chest and slowly rocking back and forth is not only acceptable, but, sources said, absolutely understandable. According to officials, it is furthermore fully okay should you want to simply stare at nothing in particular for several minutes in total silence, get under the covers of your bed and bury your face in a pillow, or weep uncontrollably with your head in your hands. At press time, sources reported that you should also feel free to call your loved ones at some point in the day, if you think that will help.
― "It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Drunk!" (kingfish), Saturday, 15 December 2012 07:02 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/north-korea-returns-to-normalcy-with-synchronized,27147/
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Monday, 17 December 2012 18:26 (thirteen years ago)
Have they had another redesign?
― sktsh, Monday, 17 December 2012 23:29 (thirteen years ago)
n korea?
― well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Tuesday, 18 December 2012 03:40 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-6-best-dresses-at-the-golden-globes,30897/#slide-1
ouch
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 09:40 (thirteen years ago)
wow
― Neil S, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 09:50 (thirteen years ago)
I think of that as something they do on a regular basis?
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 10:51 (thirteen years ago)
i heard about this one just recently:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/lance-armstrong-wants-to-tell-nation-something-but,17973/
check the date, damn
― goole, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:22 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/sponsored-the-taliban-is-a-vibrant-and-thriving-po,30910/
― Gukbe, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:28 (thirteen years ago)
Ha! That was quick.
― for the relief of unbearable space hugs (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:51 (thirteen years ago)
that was fast! xp
― abanana, Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:52 (thirteen years ago)
lmao
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 21:53 (thirteen years ago)
beautiful
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 15 January 2013 23:19 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/8yearold-accidentally-exercises-second-amendment-r,725/
― 乒乓, Friday, 18 January 2013 16:40 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-raise-all-our-beef-humanely-on-open-pasture-and,30983/
I was eating when I read this :(
it was chicken and bacon though so that's alright
― Sgt. Biscuits, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 12:48 (thirteen years ago)
http://store.theonion.com/p-5045-cheat-to-win-bracelet.aspx
― koogs, Wednesday, 23 January 2013 12:54 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/teenage-girl-blossoming-into-beautiful-object,31061/?ref=auto#pq=0AYP2b
― goole, Tuesday, 29 January 2013 22:50 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/top-9-black-plague-fails,31103/
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 31 January 2013 22:20 (thirteen years ago)
THESE GUYS HAVE BOILS ALL OVER THEIR BODY! SMH
― goole, Thursday, 31 January 2013 22:42 (thirteen years ago)
I could barely get through the hilariously, defiantly stupid article on dog politics, it was so funny.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 31 January 2013 22:45 (thirteen years ago)
^^^^^^^had me rollin
― Gukbe, Friday, 1 February 2013 00:29 (thirteen years ago)
"rebarks"
― caek, Friday, 1 February 2013 06:30 (thirteen years ago)
hahahaha http://www.theonion.com/articles/look-im-just-going-to-say-it-i-collect-antique-naz,31172/
― schlump, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:15 (thirteen years ago)
that one was partic funny to headread in his voice
― a permanent mental health break (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:17 (thirteen years ago)
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/19/19400/original/700.hq.jpg?0490
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:21 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-a-boyfriend-who-just-might-dig-himself-out-of,31062/
this kinda killed me
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:21 (thirteen years ago)
that obama one is great.
― s.clover, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:47 (thirteen years ago)
That boyfriend one is awesome. A bit too painfully "funny cos its true" as well, heh.
― Manti and the Catfish (Trayce), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:54 (thirteen years ago)
captured the bam voice pretty perfectly
― it was very clear that it's a sarcastic song (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 15:53 (thirteen years ago)
the "and gay people" addendum rang true.
― pplains, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:22 (thirteen years ago)
this one was good too:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-a-closeted-homosexual-riverboat-captain,30838/
― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:29 (thirteen years ago)
And I always have to listen to you talk about your job
looool
― ron paulstretch (crüt), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:45 (thirteen years ago)
Painfully close to home
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:56 (thirteen years ago)
by which I mean the closeted riverboat captain obviously...
except I'm not gay, haha!
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-an-elderly-black-woman-as-depicted-by-a-sophom,29855/
― goole, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:30 (thirteen years ago)
^ all time
― 乒乓, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:31 (thirteen years ago)
― it was very clear that it's a sarcastic song (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:46 (thirteen years ago)
that was too painful for me to finish reading.
― s.clover, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 18:54 (thirteen years ago)
Final answer the best one
― Gukbe, Wednesday, 6 February 2013 19:00 (thirteen years ago)
American Citizens Split On DOJ Memo Authorizing Government To Kill Them
― silverfish, Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:09 (thirteen years ago)
http://literallyunbelievable.org/post/42518714478/ive-never-seen-a-news-station-post-an-onion
Onion posts article about a PR firm urging the US to disown the state of Alabama. Reporter at the NBC station in Montgomery sees a real PR firm name used and contacts them LIKE IT IS REAL NEWS. Internet erupts. The Onion even comments on the station's fb page: http://www.facebook.com/WSFA12/posts/374043562693617?comment_id=1914203&offset=0&total_comments=67
The Onion In over 240 years of journalism, The Onion has never made a mistake in its reporting, and we regret to hear that Hill + Knowlton is publicly reneging on their prior statement.The Onion suggests that, in the future, Hill + Knowlton consider hiring a PR firm to help them navigate situations such as this one.about an hour ago · Unlike · 22
The Onion suggests that, in the future, Hill + Knowlton consider hiring a PR firm to help them navigate situations such as this one.about an hour ago · Unlike · 22
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:29 (thirteen years ago)
The Onion used the name of a real PR firm? Next thing you'll be trying to tell me that Joe Biden is a real politician.
― mh, Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:35 (thirteen years ago)
This is good stuff
― The New Jack Mormons! (kingfish), Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:43 (thirteen years ago)
It is a joke. A VERY DIS TASTEFUL AND DIS RESPECTFUL JOKE.
― Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:51 (thirteen years ago)
I assume that was you who just linked to the Hustler vs. Falwell case. Good job!
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:57 (thirteen years ago)
It was!
― Gollum: "Hot, Ready and Smeagol!" (Phil D.), Thursday, 7 February 2013 20:58 (thirteen years ago)
They went on the air with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K1t4uGHhxo
― Johnny Fever, Friday, 8 February 2013 03:41 (thirteen years ago)