Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

It seems reasonable to find it interesting and/or noteworthy that someone speaks other languages, I dunno. Sounds like it was the old "flatter someone else in the way that you like to be flattered" mistake, unfortunately.

what?

I have no idea what I was on about last night with the miso thing, but that was something LL said.

LL was pointing out that the name sounded pretty close to an offensive phrase, but I have no idea what you meant by what you posted. so please cut it out. thanks

I think I had just left a tapas place last night and we were talking about a local gay bar and I failed to mention my idea for a drag queen name combining the two

(small plate place had miso stuff, although no particular asian influence)

cool man, cool.

Man leave me outta this! I just posted that bonkers site because it had a name almost as ridiculous as its premise. I want someone to apply and see if they're accepted. There are no criteria for acceptance so far; it depends on whether or not the gatekeepers find you sufficiently "interesting."

we need to cross the streams and somehow get a PUA person into it

I feel like ineptitude in person is infinitely more nuanced and thus forgivable than ineptitude online, which is stripped of all other social cues and usually fatal. Like, that Italian dude probably isn't so bad, right?

No, I feel like he probably is, if the prospect is, like, being his partner/spouse. Maybe not for someone you run into at the watercooler. But how could you respect him after that...obtuseness?

no offense to any guys in this thread, because I think most ilx dudes are totally dateable and great.

but it just seems this is the bottom of the barrel, dude wise, when I look at OKC. I wonder if its the same looking at the chicks.

might be a cultural/socialization difference?

I think I had just left a tapas place last night and we were talking about a local gay bar and I failed to mention my idea for a drag queen name combining the two

hate when i do this

I mean I don't see anyone I even want to message, let alone date or have sex with.

I remember in 2004 I joined Nerve personals and it was full of lots of awesome, seemingly cool, good looking dudes! What happened, Denver?

There are a lot of reasonably good-looking, apparently basically literate, job-having, normal men in the NYC area on OKC so in some ways it's probably less depressing than other places.

Many of their profiles suggest that they're kind of jerks or kind of boring or kind of conservative or whatever, but they are at least actual people that someone might want to date.

yeah most womens' profiles I see on OKC look perfectly okay to me?

there are freaks hugging pumpkins in Denver.

online dating is so weird, how many people are out there with whom you would have gotten along perferctly okay with and maybe even had a meaningful relationship with but didn't because they put that they liked mitch albom in their profile or w/e

very easy to reject a profile when there are so many others to keep clicking through.

that person could have been your spouse~~~

i mean if you were chatting with them a party, would you really care about most of the crap in their profile? doubtful

you care the next morning when you find out atlas shrugged is their favorite book

Well I mean you would when you got around to discussing how much they like Family Guy or something.

xp looool see??

I don't think you realize how bad these profiles are, bnw.

I am not talking mild offenses like slightly questionable taste. I am talking FULL ON ACTUAL LOSER-SEEMING, FREAK SEEMING GUYS HUGGING PUMPKINS IN THEIR MAIN PHOTO

Someone else I know said the same thing about OKC men in Chicago, that the algorithmic matches were completely untenable. So I believe you.

you care the next morning when you find out atlas shrugged is their favorite book

― 乒乓, Friday, December 14, 2012 12:20 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

or you go to their bathroom and they have a five foot tall harry potter poster on the wall you did not previously see

I'm down with that, I put on my robe and wizard hat

what does hugging pumpkins mean?

I was unprepared, left those at home :(

I'm honestly scratching my head at some of y'alls distaste over mr interpreter Italian. that seemed like a perfectly friendly innocuous thing to say!

I think it scans a little weird, but yeah, it's not far off from things I've said on OKC to get the conversation going (nb I may be socially inept). Opening messages are hard.

like, literally...hugging a giant pumpkin in a field.

online dating is so weird, how many people are out there with whom you would have gotten along perferctly okay with and maybe even had a meaningful relationship with but didn't because they put that they liked mitch albom in their profile or w/e

This is so OTM. It's hard not to, but I at least make an effort to avoid judging on the basis of stuff like that. My tastes are often wildly discrepant from thos of some of my favorite people in the world.

Yeah, most of the (Chicago) ladies on OKC seem fine to me (the ones with whom I have higher match percentages, anyway). I feel like I'm maybe just not a particularly great fit with very many of them. Many of them apparently agree since I only get a response to, like, two out of every fifteen messages sent. And those two will send another message or two before losing interest. Most of the messages I get are from people who neither have much in common with me nor seem to have looked at anything beyond my pictures (full text of a recent message: "nice glasses"). But it's cool since I've been meeting more people lately in the Real World. I always have an easier time connecting with people face-to-face. But I think maybe I've filled my quota on cool girls who seem interested but are already dating people, Universe, so we could probably curb that now, thanks.

Trayce and f. hazel, It's just that I've had several messages recently from men whose opening gambit is 'look how cultured and intellectual I am' and/or 'look how quirky I am'. Maybe they don't mean to come across this way, but... OTOH I answered 'yes, a lot' to the question about whether intelligence is a turn-on for me - by all means be smart, just please don't feel you have to trumpet the fact.

But of course, the risk is that with any one person, they've just been inept on paper and in reality they're fine. I shouldn't have mocked that one particular guy.

that was to Vinnie too, sorry.

yeah low response rate is pretty frustrating ? think it's because a lot of ppl are in between things or are starting things xp

I totally get the people who don't respond at all. I just take that as an unspoken "not interested", which is fair enough (I kinda wish there was some "not interested" button, as it would save a lot of time and guesswork). It's the people who have clearly read your profile, respond thoughtfully to your messages, and then drop off the face of the earth that confound me. I feel like people are doing excessive pre-screening or something and missing the whole point of going on an actual date. Hint: you're probably never gonna get that clear a sense of who I am from words on a screen (as any ILXor could probably tell you).

I feel I get a p good sense of who ppl are from words on a screen

Yeah, figure with the people who drop off after a few messages that either life gets too busy, or they started dating someone else. Or maybe there's a bunch of 13-year-olds creating fake profiles to mess with people.

What I want to say to so many men on okc: Maybe if you cut all your hair off--in fact just go ahead and shave it--and never grew a beard again then we could talk.

tsk

So many beards. I'm just fed up with all thr beards. Theyre NAGL on the vast majority of you!

And that goes double if every pic of you, youre wearing sunglasses! FFS are you the unabomber?

I have no beef with beards but grave difficulty with soul patches, hipster hats, exclusively travel-based photos, exclusively snowboarding-based photos, and not bothering to crop photos to remove people who might prefer not to be in your OKC photo.

For the last, especially if it appears to be a date/ex gf! I mean!

And yeah if every photo of a guy shows he's been on a hike/been on a long bike ride/travelling in SE Asia, I'm just... no, sorry. Youre not for me.

Also frustrated by finding nice profiles with "and I plan to move to Europe shortly" in them. ARGH.