Blue Saturday

http://www.hebrideanhomes.com/slideshow_imgs/thumb/shutterstock41602771.jpg

I' th' isle of Britain, long since famous grown
For breeding the best cunts in Christendom,
There reigns, and oh! long may he reign and thrive,
The easiest King and best-bred man alive.
Him no ambition moves to get renown
Like the French fool, that wanders up and down
Starving his people, hazarding his crown.
Peace is his aim, his gentleness is such,
And love he loves, for he loves fucking much.
---Nor are his high desires above his strength:
His scepter and his prick are of a length;
And she may sway the one who plays with th' other,
And make him little wiser than his brother.
Poor prince! thy prick, like thy buffoons at Court,
Will govern thee because it makes thee sport.
'Tis sure the sauciest prick that e'er did swive,
The proudest, peremptoriest prick alive.
Though safety, law, religion, life lay on 't,
'Twould break through all to make its way to cunt.
Restless he rolls about from whore to whore,
A merry monarch, scandalous and poor.
---To Carwell, the most dear of all his dears,
The best relief of his declining years,
Oft he bewails his fortune, and her fate:
To love so well, and be beloved so late.
For though in her he settles well his tarse,
Yet his dull, graceless ballocks hang an arse.
This you'd believe, had I but time to tell ye
The pains it costs to poor, laborious Nelly,
Whilst she employs hands, fingers, mouth, and thighs,
Ere she can raise the member she enjoys.
---All monarchs I hate, and the thrones they sit on,
---From the hector of France to the cully of Britain.

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Shakey Noodle this morning on account of swallowing six or seven little parcels of duloxetine instead of the one i was sposed to, plus hangover i suppose, i don't know if this is a pleasant kind of high or not, i think it might be, i checked last night to see if i'd poisoned myself but likely not, which is a good thing i guess, quite blithe and unconcerned when i was in the process, looking for an excuse maybe, really thought i was past this.

nothing a couple of drinks won't put right.

you could have fuckin said

ah i didnae want any fuss

i wouldnt have fussed but i've have borrowed a tenner

that's the spirit

this fuckin board hasnt even got a heaney thread i mean chrisht

i have negative dollars

fuck me

quality overheard conversation from the smoking shelter at work: three teenage girls discussing which Hull FC players they wanted to shag and trying to work out what a strap-on is - they thought it was a ball-gag i think

lol excellent

hi noodle

hi E :D

it's Mad Friday, hooray!

our entire organization is on a competition to sneak out of the building and off to the pub/home without anybody noticing

pffft, who cares who notices we are having rubberband target contests

Jews, Pagans, Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindu whatever the hell I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS MERRY MOTHERFUCKIN CHRISTMAS

blasting ethan's merry christmas mix from a few years back, filling the fridge with unnecessary crap i just bought in aldi, waiting for the kids to come round so we can veg in front of the TV, holidays is a pretty sweet deal imo

best wishes to you and yours, dear noodle vague.

Happy Christmas, NV!

Happy Xmas NV! I think its going to be a quiet xmas for me, i went out last night and came back home hating the human race (young wan robbed someones coat and then went beserk when bouncers asked her to give it back, gf tried to play peacemaker before i dragged her away from it then some asshole swiped my carry-out when i was chatting to someone outside while waiting for a taxi)

last night was pretty savage :(

got drunk enough not to care, but now i'm gonna get into blissful sober slothery

http://i.imgur.com/ll4Ei.jpg

merry xmas noodle and junior noodles

Jews, Pagans, Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindu whatever the hell I LOVE ALL YOU GUYS MERRY MOTHERFUCKIN CHRISTMAS

― Captain Humberbantz (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 December 2012 13:13 (1 hour ago)

i str8 trolling
ii fuck those rubes
iii n/a
iv will ye be having a baileys now
v<3 to the lamaists only
vi <3 diwali for facilitating ~winterval~

i will likely be alone this xmas which is fine

oh wait i missed out atheists

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsk921i6c31qf1gfe.gif

‘Horrible as sexual abuse no doubt was, the damage was arguably less than the long-term psychological damage inflicted by bringing the child up Catholic in the first place.’

wd have reckoned the lamaists as too authoritarian for you nakh

ikr, what can i say, the harsh mongolian strain of lamaism seems weirdly appealing right now

After the capture of Khovd, Ja Lama inflicted savage reprisal against the Chinese military prisoners and civilian population. His acts of cruelty included slaughtering most of the Chinese troops he captured. It was rumored that Ja Lama stabbed the prisoners in the chest with a knife and tore their hearts out with his left hand. He then laid the hearts together with parts of the brain and some entrails in skull bowls so as to offer them up as bali sacrifices to the Tibetan terror gods and hung on the walls of his yurt the peeled skins of his enemies.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ja_Lama

Ja Lama put out some excellent sides on Blood and Fire in the 80s iirc

anyhoo religiosity be damned i just wanted to offer an all-inclusive let's have it winterval hug-snog to ilxors everywhere

how else would one decorate a yurt

in any event, happy holidays to you and yours nv. may your yurt never be skinless.

amen, namaste to all

xmaste

Weather Alert
West to Southwest winds will reach speeds of 50 to 60 km/hr with gusts of 80 to 100km/hr acorss coastal counties of Connacht and Ulster tonight.

the house is hopping and the bin lorry just blew over shure it's proper weather now

not having a great time of it atm tbh

<3 u family i really do but deciding to spend three weeks with you in nowheresville maybe wasn't the best idea.

it's 24 hr fifa with the lads here, breaks for sandwiches and opening another box of sweets.

clouds i noticed yr facebook update earlier :(

don't really know what to say but hang in there, if you wanna chat then drop me a message, this too will pass...i dunno, but if good wishes cd make anything better i'm sure a lot of people here are sending them your way

:) thanks

i'll be fine. phil is leaving tonight for a week, no one else around to hang w/. i plan on getting high and listening to feldman all day. mb we should do a groupchatz or something?

last night i decided that the key to not drinking was to be okay with being alone and sad. and i didn't drink. and i had heart-breaking dreams all night. and i'm awake and i'm still rattling. and sobriety is for shit, i'm sure, and i'm forcing myself to do it for anybody else but me.

gonna fast and play games and renounce myself to hermitude.

gonna make 2013 the year of misplaced asceticism.

my periods of eremitic hebetude always need to be accompanied by a vast-ish task - reading Gibbon, Football Manager sounds like a good call (thinking of getting it myself - doesn't quite square with "writing novel" & "learn German in terms of spare time but w/e). I just go into hibernation, abjure drink, become a completely different person effectively. it's weird, but good luck.

i am pretty much sat here wrestling myself into not going on a huge bender today. not sure that it won't happen, i still have a little Jesuitic caveat that says it's okay to drink before i start detox, so i have a couple of weeks left to do what i want. but i don't suppose i do want, otherwise why would i be going into a detox programme? on the other hand, like i say, i want drink and low company and the sight at least of other people and the sight at least of women, and if i didn't have to try to be a person that half of me doesn't want to be then i'd just drink and to hell with it

and Football Manager is a great distraction but yes i have a pile of reading and writing and learning about music and photography and creative endeavour i shd be doing instead even tho i cd argue like the best sophist that playing a computer game is just as worthwhile and lasting a creative endeavour

becoming a different person feels like the only viable way to not make the bad decisions i make now but i'm scared the different person i'd become wd just be deader and lonelier and more statue than person

and god i want to be in a pub with a drink in my hand and rolling up a cig

xxx-post to nv. you probably wouldn't be any happier had you drank. you'd probably only have delayed all those negative feelings until the next day that you were sober. it's better that at least some of those negative feelings are over, now.

baby steps. can i at least do a load of laundry before i drink? yes! can i at least wash half those dishes before i drink? maybe! and then, your mind becomes clearer as you go. (i never take my own advice, though).

thanks :) it's true, i've been tidying up a lot the last few days in crazy over-compensation.

thing is i don't just drink to get away from somewhere, i drink to go somewhere. a lot of psych mumbo about addictions conveniently overlook those possibilities.

thing is i don't just drink to get away from somewhere, i drink to go somewhere.

oh, my god. i have never been able to say that so succinctly. damn, there really is no higher high. it's easy to just bring up exercise, sex, etc. but, i really don't know. i sometimes just think that, well, having my life entirely organized - being completely in control of everything - would be a pretty good high, and alcohol only inhibits achieving that. but, urgh, i guess it just takes time. a pretty long time, to begin to actually live again without the booze. i also don't consider living with booze actually living; i just call it scraping by (maybe some people can handle it, but a lot of us really cannot).

no you're quite right, and when you're consistently telling yourself something has to change then that's a pretty good sign that something has to change.

even the half-glass of wine i've got in the kitchen from cooking is starting to sing to me tho lol

what is it singing

somewhere between 1930s movie seductive belly-dancer music and Kaa's song out of Jungle Book