Ugh my mother in law brought this up on the weekend - apparently all her friends' grandkids have one; I can only assume we will receive one as a gift from her eventually. My kids are too little for it still but even when they're older this will not be for us.
Through playgroups I know lots of families who have one and I think they're a bit mental, but some mums I've talked to have foregone the surveillance aspect with their kids and just done fun things like "oh look the elf drew you a picture last night!" Or whatever. I'm still not on board with pretending a doll is literally alive though, and vg is otm about it being super condescending and just really unnecessary.
― franny glass, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 03:59 (eleven years ago) link
I had no fucking clue what this thing was and now I'm super creeped out by it.
― HAPPY BDAY TOOTS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:04 (eleven years ago) link
Whoah
― grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:07 (eleven years ago) link
They always said that clicking on strange threads late at night would lead me to a bad end. I never knew how right they were.
Buying some sort of doll for our son, showing it to him, then telling him he could never touch it would lead to like an ultimate meltdown. So cruel. Even setting aside the fucking crazy surveillance aspect. Of course, hey, the government needs to indoctrinate these kids somehow, right?
― HAPPY BDAY TOOTS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:09 (eleven years ago) link
Once when I was five, it was near Christmastime and I was playing in my room. All of a sudden I heard my dad yelling from the living room and this clatter. I get up, run out to see what's going on. Dad's running back inside from the front porch and telling me, "Santa was just here! He left something for you, but took off before I could do anything!
He goes over to the fireplace, reaches up into it, and pulls out a rolled-up poster that turned out to be that one of John Denver posing with the Muppets. Right about then, I started to realize (maybe not in these terms) that holy shit, Santa Claus had just been to my house and I was too busy fucking around in my bedroom.
I didn't care about the poster. I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened and more importantly, what I had just missed. My dad was pretty pumped, and he had only gotten to see Santa's sleigh take off. The fact that this was happening on something like December 19 didn't even faze me.
Seriously, anyone who's pulling this shit on their children are either sociopaths or they're somehow that rare human that was never a kid to begin with.
― pplains, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:11 (eleven years ago) link
Haha have I told the one about how my mom couldn't figure out why my little sister didn't seem to be looking forward to Christmas on the first year that she was old enough to understand what Christmas was? Eventually my mom found her in tears, wringing a blanket in her hands or something, terrified by the wrong-ness of a strange man coming into our house while we slept. Some reassurance was required.
― grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:13 (eleven years ago) link
It's like, Do you grown-ups hear what you're saying to us?
So who'll be the first here to have an elf on the shelf at work? He'll be like that monkey on the hat stand in the UK Office.
― pplains, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:57 (eleven years ago) link
My dad pulled that trick on us all once, he snuck out front, hid behind a wall some way away and yelled HO HO HO, maye thru a toilet roll or somerhing, it sounded far away and hollow like it was.... oooh i dunno, UP IN THE SKY?
I *totally* bought it. Then later on at school I mentioned and got laughed at for still believing santa actually existed when I was in 3rd grade or whatever it was.
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:59 (eleven years ago) link
PP, I think you're ready for Festivus.
― nickn, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:01 (eleven years ago) link
i was the last person in my grade to find out about santa claus
(whispers) grade 6
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:05 (eleven years ago) link
The cruel hoax known as santa abated early on for me, largely due to the kindly insistance of old siblings who tore the scales from my eyes.
― Aimless, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:07 (eleven years ago) link
http://i49.tinypic.com/2dkmwc8.gif
― dexpresso (Z S), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:11 (eleven years ago) link
flagging u too z s godDAMMIT
;_;
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 05:20 (eleven years ago) link
At a very young age, I snuck down to discover my mom wrapping presents. Don't remember ever actually believing in Santa, but I'm sure I did.
My mom has very warm memories of seeing Santa outside her childhood house in the country. She thought those memories were fabricated until she was in her late 40s when her mother recounted the story of her aunt dressing up as Santa and walking through the snow around the house and into the trees.
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 18:17 (eleven years ago) link
it wasn't a hugely traumatic thing to find out about santa - I mean, I remember being upset, but then I still had a younger brother and sister. And Mum had asked me if I would be able to play a long for a while until they were old enough to find out. And I was so happy. Like, I could still behave the same way I always had. Nothing really changed. And even when my brother and sister found out, we all still got a kick out of saying to each other 'hey look want santa brought me'. Becuase I think we all sort of didn't want to be like our friends' families, where the kids are all surly and get money for christmas and get drunk at a club on christmas eve and go out wiht their friends after christmas lunch. christmas was always fun in our house, so we kinda had this weird unspoken agreeement to just keep it fun.
not in a creepy way. my parents never dressed up or put out reindeer hoof prints or anything like that. but I felt like I was lucky that I didn't have to really get that let down?
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 18:41 (eleven years ago) link
There are so many things wrong with this elf, including the fact that it doesn't officially wake up from it's coma until you register it online.
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link
You are a grown woman, Stephanie.
http://i.imgur.com/kH8sK.png
― pplains, Friday, 14 December 2012 15:37 (eleven years ago) link
...
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 14 December 2012 16:54 (eleven years ago) link
Who's up for a little scatplay?
http://i47.tinypic.com/2cx998l.jpg
and
there
is
this
| | |V
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/293220_514292148593009_1100191092_n.jpg
― pplains, Thursday, 20 December 2012 15:38 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't touch it."
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:19 (eleven years ago) link
oh my god
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:27 (eleven years ago) link
See also the squatting over a cookie one upthread.
― nickn, Thursday, 20 December 2012 21:19 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.blogspot.com/photos/elf_on_the_shelf_fisting_ball_gagged_cat
― Tiger Beat On The Potomac (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 21 December 2012 15:13 (eleven years ago) link
it's a running gag!
http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/393049_10151342769616293_2060939532_n.jpg
― pplains, Saturday, 22 December 2012 22:35 (eleven years ago) link
― franny glass, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 03:59 (2 weeks ago) Permalink
Yup, we received one yesterday as a gift. Even though my husband and I have already agreed on it creepiness and general unacceptability, we feined enthusiasm. So now I'm worried how to respond next year when she wants to know what we named it etc.
― franny glass, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 17:37 (eleven years ago) link
"His name is 'Boxy' because, guess where he lives!"
― pplains, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 18:15 (eleven years ago) link
Box Hill
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 26 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Box_Hill,_Victoria
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 26 December 2012 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
I think there's More to the No Touch rule than PPlains is willing to investigate. Think Santa requires a visit from the authorities.
― NINO CARTER, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, human services workers might want to use something else in their investigations.
"Now where on this doll did he touch –"
"DON'T TOUCH THE DOLL! HE WILL NO LONGER BE PURE AND MAGICAL IF HE'S TOUCHED!"
― pplains, Wednesday, 26 December 2012 19:53 (eleven years ago) link
now the bloody thing is on my feed tooGET IT OFF GET IT OFF ugh
posted today:
http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp201/sharonjoy666/D6BBD6C4-4454-496E-AC54-ADAC275EEBFE-1953-00000173221613F6.jpg
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 29 December 2012 02:23 (eleven years ago) link
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8357/8267871198_7f8e421c1c_c.jpg
Finally, someone remembers the Reason for the Season.
― pplains, Friday, 15 November 2013 15:17 (ten years ago) link
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8343/8243932772_dd7a32b5fe_z.jpg
Coming up next: Genitals
― pplains, Friday, 15 November 2013 15:18 (ten years ago) link
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8204/8232570253_bceedc406c_z.jpg
Note the straw placement
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8057/8269767947_327c76ea7a_c.jpghttp://adventuresofagrownup.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/goodfellas_body_meat_freezer_09-300x225.jpg
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8489/8284431873_3b641ab1b5_c.jpg
God, Santa. No seriously. I can't tell you how much I love watching that girl swim.
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7161/6582609673_62cb402735_z.jpg
More syrup. Don't think that this Barbie is officially licensed by Mattel, if you get my drift.
― pplains, Friday, 15 November 2013 15:19 (ten years ago) link
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7014/6503669673_0605d1026e_b.jpg
*sighs* *puts camera down* *sobs*
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7168/6510917541_a413455907_z.jpg
jesus christ. I mean, i love christmas more than most normal ppl and I seriously want to murder these people so much
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 15 November 2013 19:30 (ten years ago) link
I have never heard of this.
― Geoffrey Schweppes (jaymc), Friday, 15 November 2013 19:40 (ten years ago) link
http://www.lilblueboo.com/wp-content/gallery/elf-on-the-shelf-pg-13/elf-in-a-blender.jpg
― Lesbian has fucking riffs for days (Neanderthal), Friday, 15 November 2013 21:58 (ten years ago) link
They're airing the Elf on a Shelf special this year alongside The Michelin Man's Holiday Drive and Charmin's Dingleberry Bears' Christmas Pooptacular for maximum marketing synergy.
― Young Supper (Old Lunch), Friday, 15 November 2013 22:19 (ten years ago) link
I'd never heard of the elf on the shelf until last year. Not I invoke it all the time, all year.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 15 November 2013 22:36 (ten years ago) link
December 11, people. December 11.
http://alittlemoore.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/alittlemooreelf2013calendar.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 18 November 2013 03:26 (ten years ago) link
This is definitely the kind of thing my family would give us and if we get one, I'm sending it to pplains because I don't want the vile thing in my house.
― carl agatha, Monday, 18 November 2013 04:58 (ten years ago) link
Send it to me piece by piece, starting with the fingers, and we'll be ok.
― pplains, Monday, 18 November 2013 05:12 (ten years ago) link
then you will forever have a small vicious ghost in your house, the ghoul of the yule.
― estela, Monday, 18 November 2013 05:34 (ten years ago) link
This is awesome! You all act like Christmas isn't supposed to be creepy...
― badgers moved the goalposts (dowd), Monday, 18 November 2013 07:37 (ten years ago) link
I was born for spying!
― pplains, Sunday, 7 November 2021 20:21 (two years ago) link