Did you hear about the grape who liked sunbathing? - He said it was his raison d'etre
― jel --, Monday, 10 December 2012 18:13 (thirteen years ago)
WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIG THAT SHOOTS
bac-gun
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 10 December 2012 18:43 (thirteen years ago)
What was Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song?Olive My Love
― how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:07 (thirteen years ago)
Can't tell whether it's no longer his favorite because they split or because he's dead. But solid.
― Radio Free Urine (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:16 (thirteen years ago)
Popeye has to be dead. I mean, come on.
― how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 23:08 (thirteen years ago)
how many dinosaurs can fit in a smart car
― everything, Monday, 10 December 2012 23:26 (thirteen years ago)
I'm getting very religious about drinking probiotic yogurt drinks - i'm thinking of joining a yakult.
― jel --, Saturday, 15 December 2012 18:55 (thirteen years ago)
What happened when all the judges agreed which was the best tasting ramen? Their verdict was umamimous.
So sorry.
― ledge, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 12:12 (thirteen years ago)
what's the best part about letting casey anthony babysit for you?
she'll kill your kid.
― slam dunk, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 13:12 (thirteen years ago)
Why did the American take his British date to an estate auction?
Because she told him she was turned on by heirless chests.
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:25 (thirteen years ago)
^ laughed!
― Tiger Beat On The Potomac (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 21 December 2012 14:59 (thirteen years ago)
that's great
― 炒面kampf (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 21 December 2012 21:14 (thirteen years ago)
i've just been putting all my heavy metal albums in strict alphabetical then chronological order. i have oc/dc.
― koogs, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:15 (thirteen years ago)
why was 2 afraid of 1? because 187 on an undercover cop
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:26 (thirteen years ago)
those are both great!
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:29 (thirteen years ago)
― koogs, Wednesday, January 9, 2013 10:15 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
reminds me of a Steven Wright Joke: "I have HDADHD -- I have a lot of trouble concentrating, but when I do it's REALLY clear"
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:31 (thirteen years ago)
(am determined someone's going to laugh at this, cumbersome though it is.)
i see Disney are remaking their animated film about intelligent rats, updated so the rats have specialised knowledge of new battery technology, 'The Secret Of NiMH'.
― koogs, Monday, 14 January 2013 10:42 (thirteen years ago)
(oh, it wasn't disney, but a bunch of disney animators who left and set up their own company)
― koogs, Monday, 14 January 2013 11:11 (thirteen years ago)
I like the OCDC one a lot.
― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 14 January 2013 11:14 (thirteen years ago)
i like the nimh joke, especially since it actually relates back to the rats' use of electricity in the original.
― how's life, Monday, 14 January 2013 11:48 (thirteen years ago)
What did Santa Claus say when he saw three hookers? "Ho ho ho"
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Monday, 14 January 2013 15:05 (thirteen years ago)
-m p
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 January 2013 16:20 (thirteen years ago)
that was a very bad attempt at a thumbs down emoticon
Perhaps you have not heard of Marvin Gaye's lesser known Jewish cousin, Moishe Gaye?
He scored a minor hit in the 1970s with "Inner Shtetl Blues (Makes Me Want a Challah)"
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Sunday, 20 January 2013 21:06 (thirteen years ago)
i was ()_() until "makes me wanna challah" and then i was IRL LOL
― I had such a fontasy (stevie), Monday, 21 January 2013 07:45 (thirteen years ago)
When Bruce Banner branched out into convenience foods, what did he call his potato side dish?
HULK'S MASH.
― ledge, Tuesday, 29 January 2013 10:27 (thirteen years ago)
Was Lauren Laverne on the judging panel of American Idol?
No, it was just a Kenickie mirage
― a la recherche du tempbans perdu (NickB), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 10:46 (thirteen years ago)
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Nein
― resultant curry paste (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 11:03 (thirteen years ago)
simple yet great
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 February 2013 04:30 (thirteen years ago)
So did you guys hear about the hamburger chain that had to close down because it was spending too much on the highest quality ingredients?
I guess the perfect was the enemy of the goodburger.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 February 2013 04:31 (thirteen years ago)
Q. Who is Guy Fieri's favorite rapper?
A. Entrée 3000
― I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 02:52 (thirteen years ago)
Q. What is Guy Fieri's favorite wrapper?
A. Snickers
― The Mini-Mamas and the Mini-Papas (latebloomer), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:10 (thirteen years ago)
Q. What is Paula Radcliffe's favorite wrapper?
A. Marathon
― walloreinhart (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:01 (thirteen years ago)
So I don't know if I've told you about my new career, but I've become a shoemaker to the stars. That's right, a shoemaker to the stars. For example, these boots were made for Walken.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Saturday, 9 February 2013 04:16 (thirteen years ago)
brilliant
― walloreinhart (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 February 2013 04:21 (thirteen years ago)
Q: Which Wu-Tang member is the greatest actor?A: Method Man.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 11 February 2013 12:48 (thirteen years ago)
"Hey Corey, I'm gonna go to that yoga class, wanna come?""Nah, I'm-a stay."
― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:33 (thirteen years ago)
I approve of that joke
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:46 (thirteen years ago)
I hope you remember it at your next group shavasana
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 03:09 (thirteen years ago)
I got into a terrible fight with my girlfriend. She was so angry at me that she ripped my sweater all the way down the front. But you know what, I don't mind, because love, love will tear us a cardigan.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 22 February 2013 21:20 (thirteen years ago)
That was great.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 22 February 2013 23:23 (thirteen years ago)
What did Captain Keef say when he saw the SS Bounty off the starboard bow?
"That's that ship I don't like"
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Friday, 1 March 2013 04:36 (thirteen years ago)
What did the wookie order at the mexican restaurant?A buRRRRRRRRito! (said by making a wookie sound instead of rolling your r's)
― Fetchboy, Friday, 1 March 2013 05:36 (thirteen years ago)
A shepherd and his flock have been walking for miles in search of a brook to drink from. Suddenly one of the sheep, Larry, looks up and says to the shepherd "Hey wait a minute, the sun is setting over there. We've been walking west! I thought I told you it was to the east." The shepherd replies "Oh I'm sorry, I misherd you."
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 12 March 2013 19:12 (thirteen years ago)
A shepherd and his flock have been walking for miles in search of a brook to drink from. Suddenly one of the sheep, Laura, looks up and says to the shepherd "Hey wait a minute, the sun is setting over there. We've been walking west! I thought I told you it was to the east." The shepherd replies "Oh I'm sorry, I misherd ewe."
― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Tuesday, 12 March 2013 23:31 (thirteen years ago)
lol
― how's life, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 09:49 (thirteen years ago)
mind blown
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 13 March 2013 14:25 (thirteen years ago)
So, to boost morale, my philosophy department has decided to start having causal fridays.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:56 (thirteen years ago)
How do you stop a german literature buff from choking?
Give them the heinrich mann oeuvre.
― beau 'daedaly (wins), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:27 (thirteen years ago)
why was glenn gould always so busy?
because he had to play a lot of gigues.
― i've a cozy little flat in what is known as old man hat (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:05 (thirteen years ago)