Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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ask him if he has a licence to be operating the computer. when he says no, suck air through your teeth and tell him he's in breach of the internet act 2004, and risks arrest should he continue.

anyone that fucking stupid will almost certainly believe you, leaving to to kip in peace :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 3 September 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

Must he dramatize the fact that he is chewing peanuts. Chw-chw-chw.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

My god, FP, that is mad! Why are they allowed to call you on Saturday?!

I'm sure upthread somewhere is the time when my colleague called me ON HOLIDAY to ask where a folder was. ('Under your biscuit tin' turned out to be the answer but I wouldn't have known that.) And when Matt was called by someone asking him where the scissors were. Haha.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Greatest idea in the entire universe: When someone responds to a mass email using Reply to All, send another Reply to All to ask people to stop using Reply to All - except make a typo so that someone else Replies to All to ask for clarification. Clarify using Reply to All.

― robster (robster), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

"Hi there! You appear to be pressing Reply To All! 90% of the time this will make you look like a moron! Are you sure? Y/N"

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

GRR grr, there was that time my former boss, who had not been my boss for six months, called me on holiday, knowing I was on holiday because she'd already spoken to people in my new office, to ask details about a spreadsheet I had not looked at for six months and was not able to look at just then either because I was ON HOLIDAY, grr GRR.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

hurray! my co-workers aren't here today! it's just me!

― ai lien (kold_krush), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

there was that time my former boss, who had not been my boss for six months, called me on holiday

But that would be great, because you could tell him to go fuck himself with a melon baller, without repercussions!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

Nah, that only works if you've gone somewhere completely different. I had moved department and building but was still in the same faculty. However, it did mean I could Make A Complaint.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

Hm. Thread connections ahoy: I suspect that the super-indulged noisy brats from the other thread will grow up to be the stupid annoying coworkers of tomorrow. That classic 'world revolves round my needs' attitude...

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

OMG I just read that as "world revolves around my neds".

And verily I was sore afraid...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Soon I won't be having to put up with said co-workers, or (best of all) the more annoying customers. I told some (patronising, unpleasant, golf-club frequenting, impossible to please. The sort who really get a kick out of ordering waiting on staff around, the sort who say "make sure the white is cold, will you?" despite knowing perfectly well that in the five years they've been eating here they've never once had a warm bottle of white) regulars that I was leaving and they asked me what I was going to do.

"Well" I said "the day after I leave, I'm going to track down every customer who's ever been needlessly unpleasant to me, and beat the living daylights out of them"

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

Woot!

And God I hate that. It's like saying 'oh and make sure the sun sets tonight, will you? I can't STAND it when it doesn't and I Am Very Important you know.'

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

Dear Guy Over There On Other Side Of Room:

1) Please turn volume of ring tone down by at least three bars

2) Please change ringtune from Bodyrockers to something more enjoyable and cool e.g. pneumatic drill

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

I like my co workers, although there is this weird guy upstairs called Stevie who keeps talking to me and stuff.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

OMG I just read that as "world revolves around my neds"

I thought it was "world revolves around my nads."

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

Dear Chef, please follow Stevem's advice PRECISELY Kthnxbye

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

please be aware that design documents that take you 5 minutes to change may require more than a day to re-implement. and raising 3 bugs an hour for things that are now wrong depsite being exactly how you wanted them to be last week, well, just don't be surprised when things aren't ready for two weeks time, ok?

and stop tapping your feet, the suspended floor means it's making my whole world shake. kthxbye.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

the woman who sits behind me, back to back with me, is the ed. of the fitness section at the paper here. she runs everywhere. in the office, i mean. she doesn't get up and walk anywhere. she leaps up and bursts. it's disconcerting, but i didn't really get bothered by her until she got rid of her normal office chair and replaced it with...
http://www.sissel-online.com/images/products/75cm%20Swiss%20Ball%20Pro.JPG
it's ridiculous. she's constantly adjusting her position on it and squirming around or sitting on it in weird squeaky ways. and every single time she leaps up to dash somewhere, this fucking ball rolls over and bumps into the back of my chair. every time. 30 times a day. month after month. i'm easily annoyed, i admit, but this sucks. i really want to put a pin hole in it so it will deflate slowly over time. i've also considered leaping up out of my chair 30 times a day and pushing it as i run off so that my chair bumps into her. over and over. i'll never do this, of course.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

Ahahaha. God. Surely having large spherical objects loose in the office could constitute a H&S hazard? Report her.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

the moment i hit submit on that, she leapt up, her ball hit me, and she went "ack! it's always after you, andrew." ugh.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Does she work on a computer sitting on that thing? I mean, that can't be good. I'm stunned.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

maybe it's supposed to strengthen abdomial muscles or improve posture or something. i dunno. normal office chairs have served manking for thousands of years! it's good enough for the rest of us. i want to pop your swiss health ball so badly!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

manking=mankind

manking sounds kinda cool though.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

That reminds me of the great mystery that is mankind. Break it down: "mank" and "ind" .. gets us no closer to undderstanding what it means. Yes mankind is truly mysterious.

(paraphrased, obv)

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

good god, someone who sits on a swiss ball? we too have a fitness fanatic here, who insists in wandering around the office in her running gear (not a pretty sight), but that takes the biscuit. wow.

puncture it. go on. do it.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

yeah, really, do. Or just lay a little minefield of drawing pins behind your chair so that next time it approaches you - 'whoops! oh well, occupational hazard of NORMAL OFFICE LIFE now get one chair you freak.'

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

you need to kill her, andrew. or pop her ball.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

andrew m you just don't get it do you

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

http://www.space.com/images/rotundus-rover.jpg

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

and every single time she leaps up to dash somewhere, this fucking ball rolls over and bumps into the back of my chair. every time. 30 times a day. month after month

30 times a day, month after month

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

yet still don't get it

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

her ball hit me, and she went "ack! it's always after you, andrew." ugh.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

SHE