would lose my shit if something kept mysteriously appearing and reappearing around the house every day for a month.
― pplains, Sunday, 9 December 2012 20:55 (eleven years ago) link
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5165/5275982120_2b914a80c2_z.jpg
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me
― pplains, Sunday, 9 December 2012 20:58 (eleven years ago) link
i'm imagining coming back to my room and finding like, hundreds of them, all perfectly posed.
― Pat Finn, Sunday, 9 December 2012 21:00 (eleven years ago) link
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c0.0.403.403/p403x403/481020_4771501576667_688643845_n.jpg
"isn't it cute, kids. DON'T TOUCH HIM."
― pplains, Sunday, 9 December 2012 21:04 (eleven years ago) link
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7010/6406074119_2bb9cefab5_z.jpg
"psst, Hey honey. Thanks for letting Madison ruin Christmas."
― pplains, Sunday, 9 December 2012 21:07 (eleven years ago) link
http://l.yimg.com/os/590/2012/12/07/68455-10151218281997961-887563704-n-jpg_194344.jpg
YOU CAN'T TOUCH HIM
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 01:55 (eleven years ago) link
i have to admit that i have no idea what elf on the shelf is
― passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 10 December 2012 02:07 (eleven years ago) link
"Have you ever wondered how Santa knows who is naughty and who is nice? The Elf on the Shelf® – A Christmas Tradition is the very special tool that helps Santa know who to put on the Naughty and Nice list. This interactive holiday hide-and-seek tradition is perfect for children and families of all ages."
You take this doll, hide it around the house in different places for your children to spot with the whole idea being that the little fucker is keeping tabs on their behavior and reporting it to Santa every night.
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 02:18 (eleven years ago) link
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me8dayj0b01r755nso1_500.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 02:20 (eleven years ago) link
i also just learned about this. all my 40-ish coworkers treated it as de riguer.
― call all destroyer, Monday, 10 December 2012 02:21 (eleven years ago) link
I'm pleased I could avoid it this long tbh. Now I know.
― passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 10 December 2012 02:42 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCKdtBWT0Bs
― and I scream Fieri Eiffel Tower High (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 10 December 2012 02:45 (eleven years ago) link
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdglz6m5hG1r755nso1_500.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 02:46 (eleven years ago) link
Sometimes Dad helps out.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwf03tRbA01r755nso1_500.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 02:47 (eleven years ago) link
Srsly, this year can't end soon enough.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meazfnmuJE1r755nso1_500.jpg
No results found for "elf on the shelf engulfed in flames".
― horse motivator (clouds), Monday, 10 December 2012 02:54 (eleven years ago) link
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdglsfGMZe1r755nso1_500.jpg
I like to think of this one as more of a "before" picture.
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 05:27 (eleven years ago) link
...the fuc is this shit?! That creepy little "I'm waaaatching youuu peeeee" smirk. Dear god.
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Monday, 10 December 2012 09:09 (eleven years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/43MVr.png
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 10 December 2012 18:54 (eleven years ago) link
this is the thread in which we watch pplains lose it completely
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 10 December 2012 19:12 (eleven years ago) link
i'm right there with him, that shit is fucking creepy
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 19:24 (eleven years ago) link
bad enough that the doll is MEGA kewpie-doll creepy from the get go, nevermind the fact that he's(paus) Watching You (clap clap)
ugh
(pause)
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 19:25 (eleven years ago) link
Oh, VegemiteGrrlpaus.
― nickn, Monday, 10 December 2012 20:40 (eleven years ago) link
elfin stalker looks creepy
― Aimless, Monday, 10 December 2012 20:41 (eleven years ago) link
lol nick :)
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 20:43 (eleven years ago) link
I found out about this thing last year and it really creeped me out for some reason.
― go to party leather (ENBB), Monday, 10 December 2012 20:48 (eleven years ago) link
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/c105.0.403.403/p403x403/66093_254199361374007_1063219755_n.jpg
It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode about the Talky Tina doll.
― nickn, Monday, 10 December 2012 20:57 (eleven years ago) link
YES
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:21 (eleven years ago) link
http://media-cache-ec2.pinterest.com/upload/287808232407366389_djwa3QqJ_b.jpg
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:22 (eleven years ago) link
Take that, Elf!
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:23 (eleven years ago) link
From the "about us" section on the web page:
The tradition begins when Santa sends his scout elves out to Elf Adoption Centers. Waiting for their families to bring them home, these patient elves hibernate until their family reads The Elf on the Shelf, gives their elf a very special name, and registers their adoption online. Once named, each scout elf will receive its Christmas magic and become a part of the family’s Christmas each and every year. Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus. Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously.
Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus. Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously.
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:31 (eleven years ago) link
Chanda Bell is one of the true visionaries behind the best-selling book, The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition. A former reading and English teacher, her ability to hone in on the desires of the American consumer to create more meaningful family moments...
Christa Pitts is the business mind in the family owned and operated company that created The Elf on the Shelf. Before joining forces with her sister and mother, Pitts spent five years as one of the most beloved hosts on QVC, where her warmth and upbeat personality made her a household name.
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:33 (eleven years ago) link
omg the scout elves blurb makes me want to KILL MAIM TORTURE
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:42 (eleven years ago) link
"Occasionally a scout elf may be forced to rendition a wayward family member to one of our undisclosed 'black' sites. Know that your loved ones are in full care of our highly trained scout elves and will be returned to you safe and sound as soon as the desired level of compliance has been reached. Trust us, and you will have no reason to fear."
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:45 (eleven years ago) link
Santanamo.
― nickn, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:48 (eleven years ago) link
Of my four siblings, I'm the only one with any true memory of my great-grandmother, who died in 1979 just before I turned six. Let me tell you about this woman.
Once when we were visiting her in Memphis, she told me she wanted me to see something. We walked past the bedroom and there was some (fake) dog shit. "Oh, look at that," she said to me. "Someone must've let a dog in here!"
There was no dog.
We walk past this couch/bench thing she had in her kitchen where there was a puddle of (fake) vomit. "Oh, no!" she said. "Someone threw up in here!"
The only people I knew of in the house was her, me, my mother and two-year-old sister. And none of them looked sick.
That's when we sat down. She took a bottle of Coke, popped the cap off with the bottle-opener that was screwed into the door-jamb, gave me the bottle and sat down next to me. As I started to drink from the bottle, she focused through a doorway of the kitchen toward another refrigerator she kept near the back door. And that's when I saw the (fake) hand sticking out between the doors.
She also had in her house above the curtain rods these golden cherubs, who at night when the lamp shone up through the lampshade and toward the ceiling, would cast very passive and blank judgement on whatever it was I was doing.
So yes, this thing stirs a few forgotten vibes in me. There's no way I'd introduce sentient toy elves into my home, having them appear over here and now over there to my children. It seems like the adults had a grand time thinking this one up, but there's no way a kid was involved in this invention process. If I'm a little unnerved by it all, I can only imagine how my five-year-old – who we sorta had to talk down the first time she saw Woody and Buzz go limp in Toy Story – would react.
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:59 (eleven years ago) link
The monkey with the bloodshot eyes, bared teeth, and clanging cymbals scared the crap out of me as a kid, but I wasn't permanently scarred by it. Kids need just a touch of fright every now and then.
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 10 December 2012 22:05 (eleven years ago) link
pplains you're so otm about no kids being involved in this garbage
the condescension of it really pisses me off
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 22:07 (eleven years ago) link
I can guarantee you NO KIDS were included in the development of this thing.
http://www.mikecornelison.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/joe-biden-cymbal-crashing-monkey.gif
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 10 December 2012 22:11 (eleven years ago) link
i am *this* close to flagging u for that JF
JERK I HATE U
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 10 December 2012 22:40 (eleven years ago) link
Beeps' least favorite part of Toy Story 3 -- and that includes the part where all the toys are nearly incinerated.
― pplains, Monday, 10 December 2012 22:41 (eleven years ago) link
That toy-guilt stuff ruins Toy Story imho. Can't the toys have an adventure without continually being under threat of getting chucked out, imprisoned, given away to bad kids or violated in one of dozens of ways? It's like fucking Vietnam. None of my children enjoyed Toy Story 3 because they were so stressed out about the continual threats of torture etc on the main characters.
As for the Elf on the Shelf, I've ignored the "naughty or nice" part of the Santa yarn with my children. It's only little kids who believe in Santa anyway so why give them more stuff to worry about? I am a hippy though.
― everything, Monday, 10 December 2012 23:12 (eleven years ago) link
Ugh my mother in law brought this up on the weekend - apparently all her friends' grandkids have one; I can only assume we will receive one as a gift from her eventually. My kids are too little for it still but even when they're older this will not be for us.
Through playgroups I know lots of families who have one and I think they're a bit mental, but some mums I've talked to have foregone the surveillance aspect with their kids and just done fun things like "oh look the elf drew you a picture last night!" Or whatever. I'm still not on board with pretending a doll is literally alive though, and vg is otm about it being super condescending and just really unnecessary.
― franny glass, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 03:59 (eleven years ago) link
I had no fucking clue what this thing was and now I'm super creeped out by it.
― HAPPY BDAY TOOTS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:04 (eleven years ago) link
Whoah
― grossly incorrect register (in orbit), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:07 (eleven years ago) link
They always said that clicking on strange threads late at night would lead me to a bad end. I never knew how right they were.
Buying some sort of doll for our son, showing it to him, then telling him he could never touch it would lead to like an ultimate meltdown. So cruel. Even setting aside the fucking crazy surveillance aspect. Of course, hey, the government needs to indoctrinate these kids somehow, right?
― HAPPY BDAY TOOTS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:09 (eleven years ago) link
Once when I was five, it was near Christmastime and I was playing in my room. All of a sudden I heard my dad yelling from the living room and this clatter. I get up, run out to see what's going on. Dad's running back inside from the front porch and telling me, "Santa was just here! He left something for you, but took off before I could do anything!
He goes over to the fireplace, reaches up into it, and pulls out a rolled-up poster that turned out to be that one of John Denver posing with the Muppets. Right about then, I started to realize (maybe not in these terms) that holy shit, Santa Claus had just been to my house and I was too busy fucking around in my bedroom.
I didn't care about the poster. I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened and more importantly, what I had just missed. My dad was pretty pumped, and he had only gotten to see Santa's sleigh take off. The fact that this was happening on something like December 19 didn't even faze me.
Seriously, anyone who's pulling this shit on their children are either sociopaths or they're somehow that rare human that was never a kid to begin with.
― pplains, Tuesday, 11 December 2012 04:11 (eleven years ago) link
guy who stands outside of cvs all the time asking for money was there today and he kept saying "he's watching! who's watching?" trying to provoke people into saying "santa claus."
― Spacemoth, Friday, 19 December 2014 01:46 (nine years ago) link
So there's 24 days of the advent calendar = 24 different wacky scenarios for EOTS. Multiply that by... we'll aim low and say eight years. That means 192 different wacky scenarios to be used.
So maybe you get to recycle one as "tradition" each year. Maybe you move to a new home in those eight years with a fresh game architecture. That's still 92 ways to fuck around with an elf doll you gotta come up with.
All that work and the kids will still hate you for this. Good job, elf people.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:15 (eight years ago) link
You could always just stage a wacky EOTS torture and dismemberment scenario over a number of days and then never have to worry about kowtowing to this scam ever again!
― The Featureless Mash That Was Once My Face (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:22 (eight years ago) link
good luck, pp, I have a few magic-believing 12/13 yo students who are still freaked out they maybe killed elf on a shelf
― social justice warriors... come out to play (Abbott), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:26 (eight years ago) link
You're kidding me.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:37 (eight years ago) link
Afwiw, there is no elf in my house a surprisingly low number of shelves, all things considered.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 05:38 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/dCLxKCv.jpg
― pplains, Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link
s/emptily/creepily
― January 1, be the same sh!t as December 31 (snoball), Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:29 (eight years ago) link
Also, why is he holding his hands in front of his crotch like that?
― January 1, be the same sh!t as December 31 (snoball), Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:30 (eight years ago) link
Probably freak out your guests if they can see his erection.
― pplains, Sunday, 20 December 2015 20:42 (eight years ago) link
There's a rule when it comes to Elf on the Shelf: No touching.
That's why a 7-year-old Old Bridge, New Jersey girl panicked recently when she accidentally threw a ball and knocked over her Elf on a Shelf. Fearing that the Christmas magic was gone (that's an Elf on the Shelf rule, too) Isabelle LaPeruta made a desperate call to 911, NBC New York reported.
A 911 operator patiently told the frightened young girl that she can just explain she made a mistake and that no harm was done.
Police are required to visit a house where a child places a 911 call, however, even if it is just about a toppled elf. Once at the house, they found the girl in tears but were able to comfort her, according to Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola.
"To her, it was an emergency when she touched the elf, and she's going to ruin Christmas, so that was her emergency," said Old Bridge Police Lt. Joseph Mandola. "In her mind, she did right, and it was fine with us."
The police said they girl apologized and won't call 911 again – unless it really is an emergency.
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2015/12/girl_calls_911_after_knocking.html#
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 12:57 (eight years ago) link
"We're happy that children are becoming more comfortable with notifying the authorities at the slightest indication on an aberration inside their household. Parents keep an eye on their kids, sure, but who keeps an eye on the parents?"
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 12:58 (eight years ago) link
Related Elf on the Shelf Ideas & ResourcesElf on Shelf Ideas25 Days of Elf on the Shelf Ideas Elf on the Shelf Ideas for ArrivalElf on the Shelf dealsElf on the Shelf NamesElf on the Shelf Girl NamesElf on the Shelf Boy NamesJennifer’s Elf on the Shelf IdeasElf on the Shelf VideosElf on the Shelf Ideas: 51 Creative SuggestionsElf on the Shelf Ideas: 51 MORE Creative SuggestionsClothes for Elf on the ShelfElf on the Shelf AccessoriesAdd your own Elf on the Shelf Ideas and photos to our galleryView our Elf on the Shelf Ideas Pinterest AlbumElf on the Shelf Ideas for Adults ONLY!25 Funny Elf on the Shelf IdeasKindness Elf IdeasElf on the Shelf PrintablesElf on the Shelf PetsEasy Elf on the Shelf Ideas
― home organ, Wednesday, 23 December 2015 14:05 (eight years ago) link
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/fck_the_elf_on_the_shelf_heres_krampus_in_the_corner
― nickn, Thursday, 15 September 2016 04:30 (eight years ago) link
I... I thought this was a joke at first. Like a Liartown gag, but no, you can really buy this.
https://i.imgur.com/7KzHxSQ.jpg
https://www.amazon.com/Elf-Surveillance-Santa-Camera-Dummy/dp/B0773S4KXM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1511967511&sr=8-1&keywords=Elf+Surveillance+Dummy+CCTV+Camera
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:02 (six years ago) link
why is it called "dummy child surveillance camera"?
(also: "elves behaving badly" -- indeed they are, spying is not very elfin at all! but this too seems a strange up-front admission)
― mark s, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:16 (six years ago) link
Because it's not a real camera - just a shiny black dome with a blinking red light.
I mean, a real surveillance camera - a cheap one - wouldn't cost much more than this thing.
One day the kids will discover they hadn't been recorded the whole time, a fake eye watching over them. Then their belief in Santa will disappear. Then they'll stop believing in God. Then they'll get caught shoplifting at Target because, hey who says those cameras are real anyway?
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:25 (six years ago) link
https://www.askideas.com/media/16/One-Ear-Funny-Scared-Cat-Face.jpg
― mark s, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:29 (six years ago) link
i have never heard of this but it reminds me why i moved out of the united states
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:49 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/uLqBRDu.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:52 (six years ago) link
If I've learned anything from the movies this year, kids love festive charlatans holding red balloons.
if i saw that i would run screaming out of the goddamn house
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/8nOJ4eK.jpg
"Daddy, it's hugging me too tight!"
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/98RZREq.png
Note to any social media marketers out there: When the comments on your post are nothing but people tagging other people, you have struck gold, my friends.
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 15:59 (six years ago) link
Ok, Ronan Farrow. Good one.
https://i.imgur.com/EaZ02ci.jpg
Heroes.
https://i.imgur.com/6d2q87m.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 16:00 (six years ago) link
That's all I've got... for now.
https://i.imgur.com/F0IXwoX.jpg
That dummy survelliance camera is just a ruse to get all the younguns USED to being MONITORED all the time so the MAN can get away with the ORWELLIAN STATE
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 22:43 (six years ago) link
I love the picture of the kids jumping with joy that there's now a camera watching them
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 23:01 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/j8fPh7U.jpg
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 3 December 2017 16:29 (six years ago) link
Poor guy
― El Tomboto, Sunday, 3 December 2017 19:12 (six years ago) link
Dinovember is what we do instead, we just have dinosaurs doing goofy stuff and causing "trouble" every morning she thinks it's cute
― Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 3 December 2017 19:24 (six years ago) link
Those kids are jumping for joy on the bed! This is a clear breach of household rule #34 and must be punished. Too bad they chose to enact their criminal deeds under the watchful eye of Dummy Surveillance Camera!
― A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 3 December 2017 20:35 (six years ago) link
https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/cognition-builders-family-intervention-parenting-help-adhd.html
― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 3 December 2017 20:39 (six years ago) link
For God's sakes, let's not bring Rule #34 into this.
― pplains, Monday, 4 December 2017 01:14 (six years ago) link
At a friends house and who do i see walking in but this fux0r hanging from the curtain
― infinity (∞), Monday, 4 December 2017 01:16 (six years ago) link
That cognition builders story, wtf
― El Tomboto, Monday, 4 December 2017 12:36 (six years ago) link
(xps to Karl Malone) David Bowie's "The Barfing Gnome"
― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Monday, 4 December 2017 18:27 (six years ago) link
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/120204164_625933848316217_1136268561088120593_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=vF540pjFlwkAX_5tWUG&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=5a2489bc23b23c98d8fc6a9f6572bfa7&oe=5F95BD90
When the link dies: An EotS skeleton made out of chicken bones, with barbecue sauce on it. Text: "The elf was delicious, had the cookies for dessert. Thanks! Santa"
― nickn, Friday, 25 September 2020 23:03 (three years ago) link
I guess that's ketchup, not BBQ sauce.
― nickn, Friday, 25 September 2020 23:04 (three years ago) link
For hope in national politics, one must still look toward Georgia:
Robert Leonard, a judge in metropolitan Atlanta, is doing what he can to stop the tyranny of the Christmas tradition of “Elf on the Shelf,” issuing an order banning the tiny creatures from sitting and spying, then dropping lumps of coal in the stockings of mischievous kids in Cobb County.
― pplains, Sunday, 7 November 2021 16:42 (two years ago) link
tackling the important issues
― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 7 November 2021 16:50 (two years ago) link
He’s got my vote!
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 7 November 2021 17:01 (two years ago) link
You will hide when I say you must hideElf on the Shelf
― peace, man, Sunday, 7 November 2021 19:01 (two years ago) link
I was born for spying!
― pplains, Sunday, 7 November 2021 20:21 (two years ago) link