Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

People ~whispering~ on their cell phones on the bus, or cab drivers doing it in their cabs. Instead of a normal voice, all I hear is irregular sibilant noises, which is every bit as as bad as the sound of someone smacking and slurping while they eat. Rrrragh.

Totally! The guy behind me at work (now left) used to either talk out loud to himself or just mutter to himself. Everyone else thought the former was annoying, but I was sat closest to him and I can filter out actual talking-frequency noises (quite often our office's other resident talker will leave the office and everyone else will crack up at some ridiculous excuse/complaint she made and I'll be going "she really said that? wow. I had no idea, I wasn't listening") but hissing sibilance - whispering, sniffing, slurping - drives me up the fuckin' wall

oh thank you aps, i definitely want to try to fix this problem

i have drafted a letter to my city councilperson with some suggestions for improving parking for residents and making it worse for visitors. i hope he or she likes it. (i have to look up the name of this person.)

I don't actually personally think this is innocuous but ymmv so:

Delays built into traffic controls.
1. They've just changed the lights at the junction near my house. The filter works when the sensor senses a car is in that lane. But - it only works if the car's in the lane a certain period in advance. Quite often I get there just in time for the filter to turn green, only it doesn't and I have to sit through a whole cycle before I get through. Why? It would be better if there were no filter at all - everything they do to this fucking junction makes it worse.
2. In the other direction at the pelican crossing, the green man has a thirty second delay built in, whether he's recently been on or not. Why? The result is inevitably that a natural gap appears before he comes on, you cross, and then the light turns red just in time to stop the now-oncoming traffic for no reason. Gawd, the guilt.

Innocuous in principle perhaps, but it drives me fucking mental.

IA: accidentally 'liking' facebook statuses because "like" is in the same place as "bookmark" here

yes. also i end up marking facebook posts as spam because of the X where close normally is.

post office ia # 3457

local post office puts out receptacles for standard-size stamped Christmas cards so people don't have to stand in line and wait to have them mailed.

I witnessed an elderly woman bring in at least 10 amazon shipping boxes of Christmas cards *for her business*, and proceed to fill up every. single. receptacle til they were overflowing with HER christmas cards.

hey lady. How about you tell a clerk you have a bunch of them, put them in one big box and leave them with the clerk so you don't fill up the receptacles that people who are only sending a handful of cards for their PERSONAL use.

ragh! as if the post office isn't annoying enough already. jesus

Online shopping.
VIEW ALL. ALWAYS VIEW ALL

P sure we've had this already but I'm not clicking through 100 pages of 8 items any other time of year, let alone this joyous shopping season

otm

Fucking wires.

The apparently now-standard use among marketing/PR people of "SMB" for "small business." They have the same fucking number of syllables.

(Provided you pronounce "business" like a typical USA-ian.)

bizniss

bidnes

burzum

Other people say what, "busy-ness"?

bnz

buh

1) Toilet paper dispensers that only give you one tiny sheet at a time

2) Everything* else about public toilets: locks that don't lock, missing coathooks, hot water that's fucking scalding hot, cold taps that you can't push on unless you press really hard and they then hose ten gallons a second out, missing soap/rubbish soap, urinals that splash back, creepy dudes.

*except Dyson Blade hand dryers and rubbish graffiti

"You have successfully submitted you question or comment."

Would it be SO HARD to make sure your web page is correct?

1) Toilet paper dispensers that only give you one tiny sheet at a time

Paper towel dispensers piss me off enough already (21st Century problem: having to leave rest room with wet hands because paper towels have no batteries,) but were I to see something like this for toilet paper…

…I'd shit.

because paper towels have no batteries

what a bleak horrible future

tv adverts for white goods and furniture quoting prices of "ONLY FOUR NINE NINE" or "ONLY SIX FIVE NINE" instead of "four hundred and ninety-nine pounds" etc. I'm not sure if it's the naked digits or lack of units that bother me most.

Similar to this ^ I rely on readership stats and site traffic on a day-to-day basis. We have a whole department team to provide us with such information. If there's one thing I learnt when working with statistics, charts, data at school was that you LABEL things CLEARLY. So why is it that when I get info from them it always comes like this:

"We have 64,000 readers
29,000 unique users visit the website"

etc...

What does this MEAN? Is this per day? Per month? The history of time? What? And what annoys me most is whenever I've ever mentioned this to anyone in my department they look at me funny in a "why are you getting so bothered about this?" kind of way.

Hits: How Idiots Track Success /marketingdouchebag

In print media, you have readers who make up actual sales; 'readership' can be five times that based on ' I buy magazine X but another four people read it once I've finished'.

people in crowds who give your feet a "flat tire" by stepping on your heels...makes me want to kick my foot back into them like a donkey. i guess i don't pick my feet up quickly enough, because it happens to me like every f-in' day!!

Micromanagement in car parks. Like, this is not a huge area, and I'm only going to be rolling round it at 5mph anyway, it does not need arrows everywhere and one-way systems to optimise the process.

fast-food drive-thru wehre they are handing you your food as you're pulling up to the window, while you're still trying to put change back in yr purse and shit

like, I love fast service don't get me wrong but the dude today was practically dropping my food in my lap before the car had even pulled to a complete stop!

UK people who go up/down stairs on the right - HOPE YOU FUCKERS DON'T DRIVE

Dyson Blade hand dryers

These shit me, as the gap for your hands always seems to narrow, and you touch the sides, which is kind of creepy

Why does every book set in the South of the US seem to feature a mute? Is the real South filled with mutes? Are there even any mutes left these days?

God how I wish.

UK people who go up/down stairs on the right - HOPE YOU FUCKERS DON'T DRIVE

― Roobarb and Custos (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:30 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god yes. and people who stand on the left on escalators.

Dyson blade dryers are great. You silly people.

I think 'nice' toilets make me as irrationally angry as horrible toilets make me rationally angry, all that shiny marble and wood for no reason other than battling piss splashback, c'mon let's be honest about what's going on in here.

I was praising them, or at least saying they were among the few things I don't hate about using public toilets. The only down-side of these newfangled super-dryers is they show up how old and inelastic the skin on the back of my hands is becoming.

xp to DL

People who spend half an hour sipping their last drink after everyone else has finished.

Barstaff who vigorously spray the empty tables next to yours at the end of the night with toxic cleaning solution.

Slightly-wet trays in the canteen. At school they used to wipe them with a sopping, stinking rag whose odour persisted. That doesn't happen here, but the rage still burns.

Ugh that old wet rag smell is so awful. A custodian comes in to our offices at the end of the day to empty our trash and always takes one swipe across the edge of our desks with a funky, mildewy rag, leaving behind a wet smear and one of my least favorite smells. That doesn't make me IA, though. Just kind of grossed out. In a way it's good because if I'm still there when she comes in, I'm working pretty late and the smell drives me out of the office and home.

Also:

Dyson blade dryers are great. You silly people.

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Thursday, December 13, 2012 10:16 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Damn right.

I actually get an irrational frisson of excitement when I'm in a men's room and see they have a Dyson airblade. It's like, "Yeah! THIS time, I'm washing my hands!"

LOL and also gross

Someone stealing your work "borrowing" and your ideas and then saying it is morally acceptable because it wasn't "finished" or something.

Still have never seen a Dyson dryer though I have seen those 30000 lb/inch pressurized ones with the nozzle that spreads your hand skin out like an astronaut hitting 30 g.

Would've made that one scene in Desperately Seeking Susan where Madonna dries her pits in the rest room kinda funny.

It'd be like the playground scene in Terminator 2.

Those pressurised ones are so much better than Dyson. The hoover was the bloke's one good idea and he's been coasting ever since.

are you forgetting the wheelbarrow?

http://media.dyson.com/images_resize_sites/inside_dyson/assets/UK/main/ballbarrow_01.jpg

was a typo, sorry - for 'hoover' read 'wheelbarrow'

I don't care for the blade. Its vertically makes me feels like it's spraying your hands with previous users' germs.

Slight IA just now: in the sentence above, autocorrect added the apostrophe to the first "its," and left the second one as is.