Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

people baby-talking to their kids, especially if it's about their faeces.

people pronouncing things wrong. my favourite is when people ask for the beer "bombardier" (pronounced in the ww2 spiffing way) and say "bombard-e-ay" in the french way, just a perfect failure. (i definitely pronounce things wrong myself, obv, sometimes, and then get even more embarrassed)

i heard a mom at the grocery store ask her toddler "do you wanna do oj or peach mango?"
kid in the cart: "let's do oj"

me: shame at having overheard that, it was just too personal and also since when did little kids say "let's do _____" when they want something?!?!

live theatre :-/

i think you mean bad live theatre

there is *a lot* of bad live theatre though, so yeah

Cartoon characters on generic products.

hockey players in advertisements

overheard conversations

generally

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOrvdvczpEA

improv

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. microwaving.. A truly irrational pet peeve.

"ooh, that smells nice..."

DO YOU WANT SOME?????

there is *a lot* of bad live theatre though, so yeah

painfully true. but i do tend to be irrationally embarrassed by people ~acting~ in a live setting, regardless of the quality of performance/ production. the closer they are to me physically, the more embarrassed i get.

improv comedy or improv anything?

comedy i guess? i'm not sure what other kinds of improv i'd run into

omg hahaaaa, mooks knows what i'm talking about
that clip is practically canadian
xps

http://youtu.be/vDggoBZ2A48

though the wayne gretzky ones of the 80s/90s were prob worse and more ubiquitous...

Everything I say and everything I do.

irish politics

Oh man. When I correct someone, or answer a question earnestly, and then immediately realise they were only joking. I guess it's rational to feel some embarrassment about that, but probably not rational to feel so much shame I just want to leave work straight away, get the train home, run upstairs to a cupboard, turn out the light and hide under every bit of linen I can find.

stop correcting ppl, it's ama awful habit, even when they're wrong. get home.

*points out typo*

*kills self*

witnessing people bragging

good one

I probably embarrass people when I temporarily bond with sales people (usually at the cosmetics counter).

empty shops/restaurants that are clearly struggling for business

I end up never even going into these places since I know that if I go in and start browsing I will feel obligated to buy something because I feel bad about their business not doing well.

I don't really feel embarrassed or anything though, this is just expensive sympathy.

I feel embarrassed about being a semi-regular small spender in probably not failing local businesses - like the local corner shop you only ever buy emergency toilet roll or teabags in because you do your regular shopping elsewhere. This is related to the embarrassment about whether or not to cultivate a nodding acquaintance with the people you only ever see on the way to or from work. It feels a stupid basis for an acquaintance so I never do, but then when you walk past them every day for months and years... i walk past a guy setting up a jerk chicken stand in the park every morning and i want to break this awful cycle of studied aloofness but i don't know how, and if i do i'll probably feel no less stupid in nodding to him every morning.

people pronouncing things wrong. my favourite is when people ask for the beer "bombardier" (pronounced in the ww2 spiffing way) and say "bombard-e-ay" in the french way, just a perfect failure. (i definitely pronounce things wrong myself, obv, sometimes, and then get even more embarrassed)

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 16:47 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd probably be guilty of saying Bomard-i-ay cos I'm an idiot. I also can't stop myself saying "Kraftverk" and "Volksvagen" (who else does this? NOBODY!) and yet shudder when people like Stephen Fry don't pronounce the final "T" in 'restaurant' or insist on saying "gar-arge" when referring to music.

My wife reading ilx over my shoulder

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

It's not just me btw, I've checked - it appears simply to not be how it is done.

I think I'd say Kraftverk, but also Volkswagen - not sure it comes up much tbh.

anyway, it's folksvagen

play it safe and say folkwaggon imo

or 'b*ngbus'

People who comment on the food I am eating, or have just ordered. microwaving.. A truly irrational pet peeve.

"ooh, that smells nice..."

DO YOU WANT SOME?????

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 17:05 (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"mmmmm, looks good, what did you go for?"
"it's a new thing, it's called a sandwich, now fuck off okay?"

People sitting too close at 'communal eating' tables. However, if you are this person and you want me to budge over while I'm actually chewing, you can fuck off.

Commenting on the food of strangers: this is only OK in busy Chinese restaurants, where you see a group of diners with something good and you want to make damned sure you order that thing.

How about creating a nodding acquaintance with people you see in work? I keep trying but at a guess I'm well south of 50% success rate. And it's not even just people you pass daily in the corridor, at the printer, etc - even some of the people I've worked fairly closely with for several days retreat into non-acquaintance mode as soon as the project is done. I feel embarrassed to be part of this.

this whole area is a nightmare. do i say hi to someone i work with each time they pass me in a corridor? do i say hi to people i work with occasionally or whom i know? offices are the worst.

Thoughts when I don't nod to someone in the corridor: "c'mon i'm only passing them in the corridor, this isn't reunion with a long lost relative ffs". Thoughts when someone doesn't nod to me: "arrogant fucker".

the haunted look which is exchanged goes to the heart of our problems as humans

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

oh god yeah "did they see me nod and mouth 'hello' back there? can't tell. maybe do it again. oh god now they think i'm mental."

doors are a nightmare too. three double doors in a row to get to the bathroom, having to say "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" PAUSE "thanks" when you don't even want to or "notatttall" PAUSE "nottattall" PAUSE "nottattall" like little steam engine.

then once every hundred times a "these doors huh?", "who are you telling?!"

still it's worth remembering that the only people who don't feel this way in these situations are the rude

At my work no fucker acknowledges a held-open door; have occasionally even been glowered at as recipient passes through. Details are obviously all stored for the day of the revolution.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg5MJyEHKGo

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

and do you look at them all the way, or do you deliberately look elsewhere even though there's nowhere else to look, or? tbh i just turn around and run away.

I rarely get to do it, but running fast down a corridor is an excellent thing to do. I dunno why, maybe the air currents and echoes are all different, but it's so different to doing it in an open space.

Why not do it all the time, clutching a sheaf of papers to look busy and important, then it'll be ok to blank your cow orkers. Can't eyebrow flash! Late for meeting!

Plus long corridors create embarrassments of their own; at what point do you start your acknowledgement?

this can be so unbearably tense. often a quick distant acknowledgement, followed by the realisation that some strange etiquette will dictate another, proximate acknowledgement, which often makes both parties feel forced and insincere. it's a tricky balance between maintaining just enough eye contact to be courteous, but not so much as to make the other person uncomfortable/skeeved out, all the while acting as if the awkward steps until follow-up acknowledgement are occupied by something other than the painful endurance of having to fulfil an obligation. It can give rise to such hollow feelings, especially when you're given a perfunctory acknowledgement for what you're trying hard not to project as a self-conscious, automatic gesture. It's as if you're being confronted with a kind of diluted unspontaneity, and you're in a Tati scene, and you feel as if you're stretching a moment out far longer than any human being should ever have to endure.

"Omg she quote tweeted me and totally put words in my mouth, I told her that's why you only got 100 followers I mean get a clue right"

government agency accounts doing meme posts / using "very online" language. criiiinge

― map, Monday, 23 February 2026 02:33 (fifteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

God yes. This. The UK government put out one of those self-congratulatory "an apology" memes about a breakfast club scheme they'd introduced and it was just really poor taste and backfired immediately. Shit meme for a start. I don't want the government to be funny

I'd prefer cringey memes over the US version where they just straight up copy actual nazi images and propaganda.

Yeah there is that

Although that belongs in a thread about rational anger

people calling a close one's death date their "heavenly birthday" 😬

ugh x 100 never heard that

ugh

ugh

that *must* be a utah thing, no?

That's beyond wild

It’s a brain-of-mush thing and I don’t have the heart to make them stop doing it.

I think I've been assuming that's someone's actual birthday but they've died? e.g. they would have been 80 today but they're in heaven - happy heavenly birthday...?

Yes, that’s right - and it is always accompanied by mawkish clichés.

Slightly better is ‘born day’ from Black social media. Birthday when alive, ‘born day’ for the dead.

The actual term to use is "anniversary of their birth."

Xp map — is it related to “heavenly father” as a Mormon tell?

If your heavenly birthday is your death date, wouldn't that make your heavenly father your murderer?

I've only seen "heavenly birthday" as the person's birth day but they are dead.

I don't know where to put this so I'm putting it here.

We've got to stop with the "36 years ago, the whatever episode of Seinfeld was first broadcast" or "J-Lo released this hit song on this date 28 years ago."

If the number of years ago isn't dividable by five, then leave me alone.

I think I've been assuming that's someone's actual birthday but they've died? e.g. they would have been 80 today but they're in heaven - happy heavenly birthday...?

― kinder, Sunday, June 28, 2026 7:22 AM (fifteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

ok yeah that makes sense. it would be so funny if it was the day they died though.

On this date 10 years ago pplains wrote on the "things that make you irrationally happy" thread:

On Facebook, seeing my first-grade teacher wishing my kindergarten teacher a happy birthday today.

If the number of years ago isn't dividable by five, then leave me alone.

Ten if you ask me

Live music night in restaurants is agonising. I've recently endured a pianist who played as if he was on his third lesson ever, and a teenager-with-acoustic guitar in a nearly empty pizza place who everyone ignored including me. This scenario can never be good.

If the number of years ago isn't dividable by five, then leave me alone.

Ten if you ask me

― pax ramona (Matt #2), Sunday, June 28, 2026 5:53 PM

I'm good with this. Exceptions made for 25 and 75.

Live music night in restaurants is agonising.

Well, did you put bread in the pianists jar?

Ask him to play you a memory?

I am fine with a musician in the background but YOU DO NOT NEED AN AMPLIFIER FOR YOUR ACOUSTIC GUITAR IN A SMALL PLACE WITH 5 PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER HOLD A CONVERSATION WE ARE HERE FOR FOOD AND NOT YOU

Sorry, getting irrationally angry more than innocuously embarrassed

if people havent explicitly paid for a ticket to come see you perform i dont think you should get any kind of amplification device

mookieproof at 11:29 27 Jun 26

that *must* be a utah thing, no?