mum; we can eat camels you know honeydad ; SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS
― make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Friday, 30 November 2012 10:22 (eleven years ago) link
that one could be an I LOVE CRICKET: THE CHINATOWN OF ILX: THE CHINATOWN OF ILX thread title
― an area the size of Jimmy Wales (DJ Mencap), Friday, 30 November 2012 11:44 (eleven years ago) link
What did the goat say to the dog
nice buttock you loser
― r|t|c, Friday, 30 November 2012 12:30 (eleven years ago) link
There was a man with a ham sandwich sitting on a bench in a park. Next to him was a woman with a dog, and the man said “can I throw him a bit?” The woman said “yes, OK”, so the man picked the dog up and threw him in the pond.
― Mark G, Friday, 30 November 2012 16:01 (eleven years ago) link
Q.what did batman say to robin before they got in the carA.get in the car
A.get in the car
― 炒面kampf (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, 2 December 2012 03:25 (eleven years ago) link
Did you hear they accept debit cards at the dump now? You can ask for trash back!
― how's life, Sunday, 2 December 2012 17:11 (eleven years ago) link
this is great
― Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 2 December 2012 18:06 (eleven years ago) link
q: why did the ilxor cross the road?
a: she had room for only one McCarthy novel in her ballot, and blood meridian would probably be underrepresented in the poll
― Sufjan Gruden (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 2 December 2012 18:52 (eleven years ago) link
Bad Kids Jokes Special: The Unanswered JokesSubmissions by different kids, all without answers. why did the goat eat a baloon WHY DID THE POO CROSS THE ROAD Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIG THAT SHOOTS how does a penguin get to school how many dinosaurs can fit in a smart car why did a cat smak his face Whats a banana’s favourite dance move? Why Did The Apple Go To The Toliet? Do you no the chicken who went to the city to buy a hat how many pickles do watermelons have How many cats in the treasure chest? A: 23 B: 4 C: 176
Submissions by different kids, all without answers. why did the goat eat a baloon WHY DID THE POO CROSS THE ROAD Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIG THAT SHOOTS how does a penguin get to school how many dinosaurs can fit in a smart car why did a cat smak his face Whats a banana’s favourite dance move? Why Did The Apple Go To The Toliet? Do you no the chicken who went to the city to buy a hat how many pickles do watermelons have How many cats in the treasure chest? A: 23 B: 4 C: 176
― Mark G, Monday, 10 December 2012 16:38 (eleven years ago) link
Joke I literally dreamed this morning:
Monica Lewinsky is giving her clothes away to her celebrity friends. Naturally, Beyonce got the free cum dress.
― Radio Free Urine (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link
holy shit.
― how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 18:08 (eleven years ago) link
Did you hear about the grape who liked sunbathing? - He said it was his raison d'etre
― jel --, Monday, 10 December 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIG THAT SHOOTS
bac-gun
― SHUT UP AND GET YOUR TURKEY SCIENCE BOOKS (Austerity Ponies), Monday, 10 December 2012 18:43 (eleven years ago) link
What was Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song?Olive My Love
― how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 21:07 (eleven years ago) link
Can't tell whether it's no longer his favorite because they split or because he's dead. But solid.
― Radio Free Urine (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2012 21:16 (eleven years ago) link
Popeye has to be dead. I mean, come on.
― how's life, Monday, 10 December 2012 23:08 (eleven years ago) link
how many dinosaurs can fit in a smart car
― everything, Monday, 10 December 2012 23:26 (eleven years ago) link
I'm getting very religious about drinking probiotic yogurt drinks - i'm thinking of joining a yakult.
― jel --, Saturday, 15 December 2012 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
What happened when all the judges agreed which was the best tasting ramen? Their verdict was umamimous.
So sorry.
― ledge, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 12:12 (eleven years ago) link
what's the best part about letting casey anthony babysit for you?
she'll kill your kid.
― slam dunk, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 13:12 (eleven years ago) link
Why did the American take his British date to an estate auction?
Because she told him she was turned on by heirless chests.
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 20:25 (eleven years ago) link
^ laughed!
― Tiger Beat On The Potomac (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 21 December 2012 14:59 (eleven years ago) link
that's great
― 炒面kampf (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 21 December 2012 21:14 (eleven years ago) link
i've just been putting all my heavy metal albums in strict alphabetical then chronological order. i have oc/dc.
― koogs, Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:15 (eleven years ago) link
why was 2 afraid of 1? because 187 on an undercover cop
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:26 (eleven years ago) link
those are both great!
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
― koogs, Wednesday, January 9, 2013 10:15 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
reminds me of a Steven Wright Joke: "I have HDADHD -- I have a lot of trouble concentrating, but when I do it's REALLY clear"
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 January 2013 15:31 (eleven years ago) link
(am determined someone's going to laugh at this, cumbersome though it is.)
i see Disney are remaking their animated film about intelligent rats, updated so the rats have specialised knowledge of new battery technology, 'The Secret Of NiMH'.
― koogs, Monday, 14 January 2013 10:42 (eleven years ago) link
(oh, it wasn't disney, but a bunch of disney animators who left and set up their own company)
― koogs, Monday, 14 January 2013 11:11 (eleven years ago) link
I like the OCDC one a lot.
― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Monday, 14 January 2013 11:14 (eleven years ago) link
i like the nimh joke, especially since it actually relates back to the rats' use of electricity in the original.
― how's life, Monday, 14 January 2013 11:48 (eleven years ago) link
What did Santa Claus say when he saw three hookers? "Ho ho ho"
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Monday, 14 January 2013 15:05 (eleven years ago) link
-m p
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 14 January 2013 16:20 (eleven years ago) link
that was a very bad attempt at a thumbs down emoticon
Perhaps you have not heard of Marvin Gaye's lesser known Jewish cousin, Moishe Gaye?
He scored a minor hit in the 1970s with "Inner Shtetl Blues (Makes Me Want a Challah)"
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Sunday, 20 January 2013 21:06 (eleven years ago) link
i was ()_() until "makes me wanna challah" and then i was IRL LOL
― I had such a fontasy (stevie), Monday, 21 January 2013 07:45 (eleven years ago) link
When Bruce Banner branched out into convenience foods, what did he call his potato side dish?
HULK'S MASH.
― ledge, Tuesday, 29 January 2013 10:27 (eleven years ago) link
Was Lauren Laverne on the judging panel of American Idol?
No, it was just a Kenickie mirage
― a la recherche du tempbans perdu (NickB), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 10:46 (eleven years ago) link
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Nein
― resultant curry paste (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 11:03 (eleven years ago) link
simple yet great
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 February 2013 04:30 (eleven years ago) link
So did you guys hear about the hamburger chain that had to close down because it was spending too much on the highest quality ingredients?
I guess the perfect was the enemy of the goodburger.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 February 2013 04:31 (eleven years ago) link
Q. Who is Guy Fieri's favorite rapper?
A. Entrée 3000
― I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 02:52 (eleven years ago) link
Q. What is Guy Fieri's favorite wrapper?
A. Snickers
― The Mini-Mamas and the Mini-Papas (latebloomer), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 03:10 (eleven years ago) link
Q. What is Paula Radcliffe's favorite wrapper?
A. Marathon
― walloreinhart (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 05:01 (eleven years ago) link
So I don't know if I've told you about my new career, but I've become a shoemaker to the stars. That's right, a shoemaker to the stars. For example, these boots were made for Walken.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Saturday, 9 February 2013 04:16 (eleven years ago) link
brilliant
― walloreinhart (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 February 2013 04:21 (eleven years ago) link
Q: Which Wu-Tang member is the greatest actor?A: Method Man.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 11 February 2013 12:48 (eleven years ago) link
"Hey Corey, I'm gonna go to that yoga class, wanna come?""Nah, I'm-a stay."
― flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
I approve of that joke
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
I hope you remember it at your next group shavasana
― flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 03:09 (eleven years ago) link