Blue Saturday

i cdn't even form the words this week

but hugs, clouds

i've been packing in booze for the dry years ahead, probly not a top plan. feel like you need to be incredibly selfish to detox but hey why not.

i feel like as long as there's soup and chocolate and Football Manager and books to read and some music, that's enough, that ought to be more than enough

and i'll just bumble thru the crap inbetween

i'm just holding on until the end of the semester

it's ridiculous, there isn't even that much stuff for me to do; just sick of the roles, the interactions, the meaningless conversations, 20 year olds, &c &c

i just want to do nothing

Italo: He likes people similar to himself and does not trust those who are different. That's why a normal man is a true brother, a true citizen, a true patriot...

Marcello: A true fascist.

that amazing picture of the kids with twp (and the one with ronaldo) doesn't seem to show up anymore

i know! i'm not sure why, seem to have put it on an odd host maybe. will check my photobucket.

hmmm i've got a Des Walker

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/DSCF8161.jpg

nice

des walker is a sort of ultimate early-90s fitba player like nicky summerbee or gianluigi lentini

some random pop star

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/dec07005.jpg

hey nv i don't really post here but i do lurk from time to time and i just wanted to let you know i think yr a good dude and much of this thread ~resonates~ and yeah keep on keeping on man that's about all.

thanx dude :)

i've always enjoyed yr work on here too and you seem to be having a rough old year so that injunction to koko is mutual

found them

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/ferdinandnotfranzampco.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/ronaldo.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/wholookshappierhannahorrooney.jpg

lmao all over again

notice Scholesy's "picking up the kids" form

Oh my goodness they're all so little. I mean the players.

lol @ at yr girl looking totally unfazed by Wayne Rooney.

twp

feel very meditative and dreamy today, walked to work listening to all the sounds around me like it was music. gonna be fine as long as i don't have to talk to people or answer sensible question.

ah bollocks.

can ask some nonsense questions if required

i'll be fucked if i'm going to class today

http://www.princeton.edu/~his291/Jpegs/Durer_Melancolia.JPG

at what point do you admit to yourself, without illusions, "i am pretty much a fucking loser"

been wondering that one myself lately

though i think my conclusion has been that if yr still thinking about the question yr probably not one

idk, i wonder if it is possible to fully-inhabit loserness, to cultivate it

my life cycle seems to be:

1. frantic burst of productivity -> 2. crash, burnout -> 3. video games/internet porn -> 4. refreshing same 3 websites for hours on end -> 5. suddenly freaking out at my shit state of living and -> back to 1.

this afternoon was suposed to be 1 but degenerated into 4 pretty quickly and now i'm going to drink wine and probably watch a probably shit game of fitba

was a shit game n all

existential despair as expressed in the sullen form of marouane chamakh

to what d'you compare yourself when deciding losership or not tho

anyone from teilhard de chardin to myself at better times

idk, ideals have fucked me up

i am completely bullshitting this paper that is already a day late, may plead insanity if he doesn't accept it

what is it about?

i don't think procrastinating about papers has anything to do with being or not being a loser

de beauvoir and nietzsche

i guess as a serial procrastinator i would say that tho

you just need to seize the day, the world is your oyster there's no reason you couldn't be out there doing what those other guys are doing

but i hate oysters dad

see that's what i'm fucking talking about, that's getting you nowhere that shit

^ remember like it was yesterday

1st answer = swallowing the void, there isn't an answer, at least we cn bounce this empty stupidity between ourselves and recognise our group bafflement

2nd answer = i thought the woman i was talking to tonight had a learning disability, kept fending her off until we got home and realised she was just hammered, am happy to not take the piss but am crestfell to not talk less stupid

short term leaning disability

sober translation. i thought the woman was throwing herself at me and because i thought she was disabled it felt like i wd be taking bad advantage. but it wd have been a different kind of advantage taking if i'd sussed she was just pissed and since i was pissed too it mightn't have led very far but maybe farther than a brotherly walk home and goddamit why didn't i get a number?

feel bad all day every day

the semester's done. went to the art museum w/ another classmate, looked at the exhibit of byzantine art and talked about shit. feels nice.

http://www.cornwallcommunitynews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Popping-Champagne-cork.jpg

yeah well, obviously beauty and truth aren't in any way mutually inexclusive. I just dunno which i prefer, or rather it's a circ-by-circ decision. Much rather my boss was beautiful, like.

when he says beauty is truth is he saying both are in the eye of the beholder or both are objective presences in the world? i think this is the knot Keats meant you to find un-untieable

aslo, is the flapjack the perfect symbol for the wholesome, flavourless tedium of unproductive work?

i am practising or embracing doing just enough to get by in all situations, i'm pretty comfortable with it

mdf byproducts are alright for termites but i like to think that we're a lil higher up the food chain tbph, p sure keats is with me on this one.

I figure he was arguing on universal scale, if he wasn't then he ought have said so and damn the rhymin scheme, this is why i distrust poetry as a method of conveyance, did he really mean that or did it just scan nicely with 'heraclitean' etc etc

flapjacks are like what i imagine goes in horses' nose-bags

if i was being dead honest i'd guess Keats was trying to talk about a universal truth but he overlooked the possibility that he was relativising truth instead of universalising beauty. aslo the fact that poetry is an untrustworthy medium for philosophy kinda tips the balance in favour of beauty over truth imo

poetry as medium that compromises truth is neatly the nub of the matter, but i'm not crediting him with meta on it tbph

All for truth from my philosophers, beauty from my poets, uncomfortable with such issues as may arise with any overlap, but unfortunately it happens