"Wow, I thought it was only McDonalds that gave free plastic gifts with a Happy Meal."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:30 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm sorry, we overran on the porn shoot. Do you mind if Brad and Swinger do the money shot in your office?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:32 (thirteen years ago)
"There's a brand new dance, but I don't know its name."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:34 (thirteen years ago)
"I've been cheating on you with a taxidermist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:36 (thirteen years ago)
"I know you said I should keep my feet firmly on the ground, but the chiropodist down the hall told me to put them up."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:37 (thirteen years ago)
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe, AMIRITE?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:38 (thirteen years ago)
"In Soviet Russia, couch lies on YOU in therapy sessions!
― 5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:39 (thirteen years ago)
lol
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:41 (thirteen years ago)
first one that made me lol
"These bastards wolf-whistled me from their truck. Give them the same painful vasectomy you gave George, please."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:42 (thirteen years ago)
"Doctor, I'm being followed by a sophist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:44 (thirteen years ago)
"This is the actual spot where Lou Reed wrote Heroin."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:46 (thirteen years ago)
"Is this your sedan, your oriental manservants? I'm afraid they were on a double yellow line."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:49 (thirteen years ago)
"I finally found a judge's wig in your size!"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:50 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't think I have Oedipal issues; mine are more Sophoclean."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:51 (thirteen years ago)
"That one's for your ass, this one's for your ego. Your superego's tied up on the Hudson."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Look! It's my favorite Neil Young song come to life!"
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:53 (thirteen years ago)
"What do you mean, this doesn't constitute proof that I've killed Fidel Castro?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:54 (thirteen years ago)
"Doctor, I've just discovered my chaise longue is a pouf!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:00 (thirteen years ago)
"It followed me here. I think it's a chase longue."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)
"Speaking to Louis XIV is like trying to have a conversation with a piece of furniture."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:04 (thirteen years ago)
"And I tell you again that yesterday this was two pugs and a cat called Marmaduke!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:05 (thirteen years ago)
"But you asked me to bring up anything heavy I had in my subconscious!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:10 (thirteen years ago)
"I found these two perverts stuffing it in the lumber room."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:11 (thirteen years ago)
Grampsy is goin' off
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:12 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't know the mens' names, but the sofa's called Sven."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:13 (thirteen years ago)
Have a couch!
― paula boradwell (crüt), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Since he got the role in The Mousetrap he's become such a fucking divan."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Are you an exorcist? Satan is in my Ottoman."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:22 (thirteen years ago)
"They're transhumance nomads, they're used to it."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:24 (thirteen years ago)
"It's for my daughter's dollhouse. You are a shrink, right?"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:30 (thirteen years ago)
Nice!
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:35 (thirteen years ago)
OK, that one. (xpost, i.e. me too)
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:37 (thirteen years ago)
Someone else enter it for me, I'm not a real person.
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:52 (thirteen years ago)
I'll do the biz.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:55 (thirteen years ago)
"Why are you sitting in my chair? You're a mover! Get back to work!"
― s.clover, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 03:55 (thirteen years ago)
good afternoon. please take a seat.
― bill paxman (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 04:03 (thirteen years ago)
"Hi boss. I found you some new slaves."
― abanana, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 04:44 (thirteen years ago)
"You know, this is exactly the kind of mundane and boring situation that gets turned into a New Yorker caption competition."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 11:27 (thirteen years ago)
"Next time you take on new patients, I suggest you read the prenup."
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 24 November 2012 01:16 (thirteen years ago)
The finallists for the "join the dots bloke"..
"One thing led to another.""He's not finished.""He makes me feel young again."
"He's not finished."
"He makes me feel young again."
mmm. OK, fair play to at least two of those..
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 09:07 (thirteen years ago)
If this is a red cross, my guess is it'll fill in later. If it isn't, I was right..
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/03/p465/121203_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 09:08 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/12/03/p290/121203_contest_p290.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 09:09 (thirteen years ago)
Any ideas?
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 26 November 2012 12:29 (thirteen years ago)
vg+
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 12:33 (thirteen years ago)
Really, there's nothing legit to say there outside of an idea joke.
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 26 November 2012 15:57 (thirteen years ago)
or maybe an Ikea joke?
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 15:57 (thirteen years ago)
or an IKEA joke maybe
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 26 November 2012 15:58 (thirteen years ago)
or possibly an idea joke
TIMIN!
― Mark G, Monday, 26 November 2012 15:58 (thirteen years ago)