"Doctor, I'm suffering from nose-shaped-like-a-penis envy."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:08 (thirteen years ago)
"Do you mind if my two previous analysts sit in? Don't worry, they're catatonic subhumans."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:10 (thirteen years ago)
Man standing right behind woman: "Have you ever seen anyone carrying a sofa this way in real life? This is so unrealistic."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:11 (thirteen years ago)
"While admittedly this might not be the ideal space to workshop my 'Straw Dogs' musical ..."
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:11 (thirteen years ago)
"That's your chair. And this is your chair on drugs."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:12 (thirteen years ago)
"We're all staring in completely different directions. This picture would make one hell of a difficult 'spot the ball' competition."
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:13 (thirteen years ago)
"I've killed your arch-enemy, the evil dentist Dr Blok, and covered this sofa with his skin."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Bernie Madoff sent me. He's sorry about the $45m, but believes his favorite sofa can go some way towards repaying you."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:18 (thirteen years ago)
"Take this down, Stevens."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:20 (thirteen years ago)
"Here's that sofa with the strine green stripe pattern you ordered. We're so glad you didn't pretend to be terminally ill at a whole load of support groups, meet some crazy woman, go off with your imaginary friend, and form a quasi-terrorist anti-capitalist organisation!"
― Dermot O'Leary, picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been (snoball), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:21 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm sorry we're late, but they kept making Freudian slips."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:21 (thirteen years ago)
"Look what we found in the trash - the return of the repressed!"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:23 (thirteen years ago)
"Do you have two dollars for Deleuze and Guattari?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:24 (thirteen years ago)
"Fumes... everywhere.. like I can't breathe."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:25 (thirteen years ago)
"I thought I was sick until I ran into these guys at Ikea. So I gave them your fee."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:29 (thirteen years ago)
"Wow, I thought it was only McDonalds that gave free plastic gifts with a Happy Meal."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:30 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm sorry, we overran on the porn shoot. Do you mind if Brad and Swinger do the money shot in your office?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:32 (thirteen years ago)
"There's a brand new dance, but I don't know its name."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:34 (thirteen years ago)
"I've been cheating on you with a taxidermist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:36 (thirteen years ago)
"I know you said I should keep my feet firmly on the ground, but the chiropodist down the hall told me to put them up."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:37 (thirteen years ago)
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe, AMIRITE?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:38 (thirteen years ago)
"In Soviet Russia, couch lies on YOU in therapy sessions!
― 5-Hour Enmity (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:39 (thirteen years ago)
lol
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:41 (thirteen years ago)
first one that made me lol
"These bastards wolf-whistled me from their truck. Give them the same painful vasectomy you gave George, please."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:42 (thirteen years ago)
"Doctor, I'm being followed by a sophist."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:44 (thirteen years ago)
"This is the actual spot where Lou Reed wrote Heroin."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:46 (thirteen years ago)
"Is this your sedan, your oriental manservants? I'm afraid they were on a double yellow line."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:49 (thirteen years ago)
"I finally found a judge's wig in your size!"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:50 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't think I have Oedipal issues; mine are more Sophoclean."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:51 (thirteen years ago)
"That one's for your ass, this one's for your ego. Your superego's tied up on the Hudson."
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Look! It's my favorite Neil Young song come to life!"
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:53 (thirteen years ago)
"What do you mean, this doesn't constitute proof that I've killed Fidel Castro?"
― Grampsy, Tuesday, 20 November 2012 23:54 (thirteen years ago)
"Doctor, I've just discovered my chaise longue is a pouf!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:00 (thirteen years ago)
"It followed me here. I think it's a chase longue."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)
"Speaking to Louis XIV is like trying to have a conversation with a piece of furniture."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:04 (thirteen years ago)
"And I tell you again that yesterday this was two pugs and a cat called Marmaduke!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:05 (thirteen years ago)
"But you asked me to bring up anything heavy I had in my subconscious!"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:10 (thirteen years ago)
"I found these two perverts stuffing it in the lumber room."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:11 (thirteen years ago)
Grampsy is goin' off
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:12 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't know the mens' names, but the sofa's called Sven."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:13 (thirteen years ago)
Have a couch!
― paula boradwell (crüt), Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Since he got the role in The Mousetrap he's become such a fucking divan."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Are you an exorcist? Satan is in my Ottoman."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:22 (thirteen years ago)
"They're transhumance nomads, they're used to it."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:24 (thirteen years ago)
"It's for my daughter's dollhouse. You are a shrink, right?"
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:30 (thirteen years ago)
Nice!
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:35 (thirteen years ago)
OK, that one. (xpost, i.e. me too)
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:37 (thirteen years ago)
Someone else enter it for me, I'm not a real person.
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:52 (thirteen years ago)
I'll do the biz.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 November 2012 00:55 (thirteen years ago)