Masterchef Goes Large

5) Cake

omg lg, that is *amazing about greg the egg and chefmichelle not being in the same room... and that makes so much sense too...

also you should totally watch bake-off because it rules so hard

6) Jumpers

now i'm regretting not making a bake off thread when it was happening.

JAMES FTW!
the things i liked most about james:

1) sourdough
2) he wasn't bothered whether he won or not
3) scotland

I'm pretty sure you see greg and jr tucking into the same plate of food . . . I'll check tonight.

they def are in some shots together - but maybe not when they have their little 'round-up' chat, before booting someone out?

Totally supporting Ping.

One of my singing colleagues is going to be on the season premiere of the new season of Masterchef; he will not say if he actually gets past the premiere or not.

Slowly working through the latest series of UK Masterchef. Loving it as usual, and enjoying the new, gentler vibe. But oh my god, losing like one contestant an episode? When is this series going to end??

Barry Shitpeas just outclassed in the final there.

So... My colleague did get onto the show and won a mystery box challenge.

GO JASON GO

The Great British Menu this year is preparing for "a star-studded banquet celebrating the British music industry to be held at Abbey Road" or words to that effect. There are so many hilarious / toe-curlingly embarrassing moments in this, it's amazing. Dishes inspired by Coldplay! People saying things like "singles - they're the small vinyls, yeah?"!

great british menu is unfailingly shit, but hats off to them that they've found a new way to be terrible after this many series

Yes, having Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort just one of many, many high/lowlights.

P much every other dish seems to have been 'inspired' by The Beatles or Oasis.

Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

xp BG you're right, but it remains my favourite cooking show.

I'm always struck by how tough they say it is to produce two plates of food in a day's work (or sixteen in a judging day). They're chefs!

Post-Astro UB40 line up looks like a winner

https://gbc-cdn-public-media.azureedge.net/img82135.690x416.jpg

The judging session with Mani was another big treat. Waterman sadly predictable in his tastes.

wittingly or unwittingly, the producers of gbm have produced an invaluable survey of the tyrants, egomaniacs and petty squabblers who run british kitchens in the 21st century, and for that they must be commended

That one neck tatooed fellow who produced a dish called CONTEMPT FOR ORTHODOXY which was like a fish spine sticking out of 3D printed head did make me laugh.

Haha yes - demonstrating his contempt for orthodoxy by spraying oysters silver and shaping them to look like studs on an oh-so-unorthodox leather jacket. The restaurant he works at in Leeds sounds... not to my taste.

Ben from the other week's restaurant is just round the corner from me and is actually very nice so I couldn't help rooting for him, even though he was a slight moron.

Yeah as documented on the London restaurants thread we ate at his restaurant this weekend and it was really good.

Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

― a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Monday, April 8, 2019 12:37 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Be glad you missed Mani 'dish is aight' slurping up some soup.

Ps. I watch this religiously. The 'concept' plates are frequently bonkers.

Wtf has this guy got against fish curry?

Great to see the kooks up for a place in the pantheon of 50 years of british music.

What was the deal w/ that guy who - twice - didn't actually deliver the brief in any way? Is he thick?

"I'm doing a dish called Northern Sole."
"What fish is in it?"
"Cod."

That guy?

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

xp haha yeah, that guy. Thought it was expert trolling at first but c'mon man. Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

I like that this week's judge let's off a little more about how things are going during the cooking. The others all tried their very best to not let anything on. When they'd taste a sauce they'd be like *must... keep... blank... expression*

xp BG you need to see this pronto imo

We have developed the habit of watching the week's worth of these on a Friday or Saturday night. I can barely wait! (Mind if you lot start spoilering who goes through I will have to catch up in the thread later, not that that should stop you obv.).

We're a small but dedicated crew, I think we can manage no spoilers.

Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

It was more wtf than that, he actually said "The dish is called Northern Soul, with a 'u', because it's cod". In other words "I'm not going for the obvious pun, instead I'm going for a dish which has no connection to the name or the brief whatsoever".

Mind = blown (I missed that "with a 'u'" remark!). That's some 5D concept cooking!

Yeah he said "with a u" to both Aitkens and his fellow competition, separately, so he clearly rationalised it in his head that way.

Maybe it was a meta-commentary on the futilty of trying to encapsulate a musical tradition through the medium of cookery - it wouldn't actually have had anything more to do with Northern Soul music if the name of the fish i had sounded the same as 'soul'.

That's possibly giving him a little too much credit seeing as he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

B-but plates shaped like guitars! Skate tendon mohicans!

he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

Otm. He's a nuisance. All the better his chow will be further served off tonight.

xp Oh god the mohicans <3

So you're a top chef who worked at Noma, participating for the second time. What do you do? Choose a main ingredient (pig fat) you've never worked with before, massively over-salt your dish (how did he not taste this?) and as a consequence are scared shitless of overseasoning again so you completely underseason your next dish. Car crash.

Aye, last night was a car crash all round.

In "how do you do, fellow kids" news, "small vinyls" go at "33 rounds per minute", you listen to a record player while fishing in a boat and devoted John Peel listeners owned all the Spice Girls singles on cassette.

OMG.

So it turns out these little morsels of ludicrousness are making me more psyched to watch the show, rather than acting as spoilers.

That's weird, we started watching an old series of M:TP last night. The one with savant psychopath James, who's either going to win at an absolute canter (no spoilers pls!) or get kicked out for hunting a fellow contestant

What's weird?

Masterchef (and, I think Mastercheftheprofessionals) has taken to using past winners and finalists as if they were food critics* in the early rounds - it turns out that I have a vague memory of about 5% of them and the rest I would swear I'd never seen before, even though I've watched every series of the thing going back to the dear dead days of Loyd himself. SO the chances of me spoiling anything are zero. Having said all that, GBM >>> any form of Masterchef.

*presumably the risk of being saddled with another Sitwell is just too great.

and devoted John Peel listeners owned all the Spice Girls singles on cassette.

This had us cracking up too :D

My favourite LOL was Richard Corrigan saying, "You're really pushing the boundaries by mentioning John Peel there"

The bottom of the puns barrel was officially scraped with "Fleetwood Mackerel".

Haha, I missed that. Stupid social life.

Someone who grew up in Buckie reckons they listened to loads of bhangra when they were at school. No wonder in such a hotbed of Asian culture.

The female chef justified her Club Tropicana inspired dessert because her sister was Wham daft when they were growing up. She's 32.

My dish is called 'Sunny Afternoon'... yeah, yeah, The Stereophonics