what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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'Secret Rear Window'

― chip taylor, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

the Jimmy Eat World acronym assures that this thread will eventually be googled by nazis, at which point we will arrive at the ever-elusive "next level"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd keep an eye out more for the Weezer fans myself. Specifically the ones searching 'Weezer anal' on google.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

No chance that Mr. Trucker Cap isn't in JEW or Weezer?

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear, what a terrifying thought. But I think DB's Beechwood Sparks take is apt.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

If this thread was a movie, the twist ending would be where Gear! realizes that the guy having sex with his roommate was actually his imaginary friend/split personality and it was him doing the anal sex on his roomate.

David Lynch's Lost Slipcover.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://fiction_online.tripod.com/read/nitro/wouldyou1.htm

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you, Stockholm. Now I feel like Gear did when he posted the Jeff Healey pic.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It all does sound too perfect dear readers but I assure you the truth is much worse than I can make it out to be! I half-expected my roommate, upon leaving for work, to kick open my door, point a finger at me and cry out "saboteur!", and then flee. however she left quietly while I took a nap and dreamt of more innocent times.

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Wise. And you know, El Diablo's first post, right back at the start of the thread, said it all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Well shes obviously upset.. you denied her anal pleasure.

for shame.. for shame..

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:54 (twenty-two years ago)

When she comes back from work, you'll have to offer to make it up to her.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

the hat was maroon and said "Old English" on it

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/garethfap/garethhat.jpg

― allyzay, Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh DEAR.

Well, that would explain his relative silence.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

but he's more of a Blink 182 man

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/garethfap/allyhat.jpg

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

http://theoriginalsoundtrack.com/ile/geetaedtracer2.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~gareth/ilx/thepub/harrow3.jpg

i will not rest until every single ILXor has had their picture taken wearing that hat

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear, what a terrifying thought. But I think DB's Beechwood Sparks take is apt.

Naaaaaah. I take it back. No one in the Beachwood Sparks would be caught dead with JEW or Weezer CDs. They'd have to be Flying Burrito Brothers of Dan Fogelberg LPs.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Was the question of her hottness ever answered?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

haha that collection of photos shows most every possible angle in which one can wear such a hat, that is amusing.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Still, nobody should be wearing that hat.

― kirsten (kirsten), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks vaguely like a cross between Angie Harmon and a porpoise if that answers your question

― Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

it still brings a tear to my eye how happy Tracer looks in that pic, as if Geeta has just tucked him in for the night

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

She looks vaguely like a cross between Angie Harmon and a porpoise if that answers your question

I seee

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread has just taken another turn for the unbelievably awesome

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

EEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE!!

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Every time I think this thread is dying down, it roars back like a champ.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"Do me in the blowhole, you scrawny purveyor of foam hat manliness, you!"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"*SPPPLLLASH* Sorry about that... had to breathe"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Yeah, let's do nasal... *SKREEEEEEEEEEEEE*"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"Sorry, baby, but you smell like a whole lotta fish going on!"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Gear, here's a handy link for more prespective trucker hat wearin' stud visitors of your humble abode and your swift swimmin' roommate.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"is the boy scout ready for his brown badge?"

erm, goodnight

― Bobby Frisk (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one-night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel dirty.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

haha so i guess i shouldn't revive my thread with what happened to me tonight then

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Now that you've baited us, you must

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess knows what he is doing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

actually it was more like a scene from a jackie chan movie crossed with a porno, but hey

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 00:59 (twenty-two years ago)

What trucker hat were you wearing, strongo, and what cds did you leave behind?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i wasn't wearing a trucker hat, but i was wearing boxer shorts with little rubik's cubes on them, if that counts. "say you'll be there" by the spice girls was playing.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

not "when 2 become 1"?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Or "The Lady is Vamp"?!

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Did I reveal too much there?

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, i once had sex to the whole of the spiceworld soundtrack, so no harm no foul

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

but plenty of balls and strikes

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

(i really hope a) someone got the joke, or b) everyone ignored it)

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

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