Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

don't forget to!.........

I just Googled "Gag Reflex" after reading that. I don't recommend it.

it's a good job the coffee's nice, is all i'm saying

wonder if cameron has employed these marketing guys to help flog fighter jets to the saudis

Some people might think of me as a tool for violently suppressing troublesome civilians, women, that sort of thing. But I could be so much more! A really cool taxi for those heavy evenings in the Definitely Not Drinking "Gentlemans" Club! A christmas present for that awkward 10 year-old cousin who you just made Minister of Football! A personal kebab delivery mobile! Go on, let me stick you down for 3 dozen and we'll throw in a crate of shock batons and a week's training session with MI5 on 21st century "interrogation" techniques. It'd be rude not to!!

"Fighter jets. The north. It's not rocket science mate... that's why when you strap yourself into the Eurofighter Typhoon, you're not just sitting into a metal killing machine. You're sitting on thousands of years of British imperial warfare. Of course, we can't kill the people for you, we're too busy playing Angry Birds Star Wars!"

This is a router. it’s from Be, so we call it the Be Box.

We hate long instruction leaflets and setup guides too,
so we’ve set up your Be Box to instantly connect. If you
follow the quick steps below you should be up and running
in no time. but if things don’t go quite to plan then flick
on 6 pages for our top trouble shooting tips or 8 pages
for ways to contact our crack team of support super agents.
Don’t be too hasty, please wait for your activation date
before going through the setup process otherwise your Be Box
won’t do the do.

there's one person writing all this shit.

Thankfully they don't work for 0range.

the worst is when i don't pay up, first they send you an email saying "Hello! Bit of a problem [...] We'll have another go in a few days" and then when you get round to it it actually says something like "Thanks! We know no one likes paying bills so..." etc

i mean at least send me a cupcake or a rasher of bacon to show ur gratitude yknow

ha, the nearest 0range get is calling their router a 'BrightBox' ffs.

o2 is just mindless automaton with hint of big company menace.

it's spelt Orange xp

This was what I got when I was trying to order from Apple earlier today:

Looking for something?

We thought so. The product you're looking for, however, is no longer available at the Apple Online Store.

We do have some similar products to show you

FUCK OFF!

xp well no wonder they never reply to my e-mails.

via Alba:

http://f.cl.ly/items/3q3i2Q0e1G1e1R3p1P03/ClouDrop%209%20Nov%202012%2020:07:28.png

Whatever it takes
Or how your phone breaks
We will be right here waiting for you

belongs on the passive-aggressive notes thread

We have an automated build and deploy process here at work. It regularly sends emails:

Hi matey,

I've just finished releasing [project] as [version]. It went fine. Hurrah

[blah blah blah]

Your robot-pal,
Jenkins

ugh "matey". reminds me of freshers' week at oxford.

Oi mates,

I've just finished releasing [project] as [version]. It went fine. Hurrah

[blah blah blah]

Also, blood sausage is delicious

Your robot-pal,
Jenkins

Holy shit these pictures of their office.

http://www.viewpictures.co.uk/ImageThumbs/KILO-006-0015/3/KILO-006-0015_Innocent_Drinks_HQ_Stiff__Trevillion_Architects_London_2011_General_Office_Area.jpg

http://enviableworkplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/InnocentDrinksOffice.jpg

http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/innocent_drinks/images/2007/04/27/dsc_0024.jpg

I can't even...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HwXAH87Oek8/TNPwwShGb-I/AAAAAAAAFy0/aZW-3IwzZvU/s1600/Innocent+Office1+oct10.jpg

How many fucking tiny bobble hats do you need in one square foot of space?

http://now-here-this.timeout.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Downstairspan1.jpg

Of course there is...

OMG IN THE TOP CORNER ON THE SITE THERE IS AN ACUTE ACCENT ON THE E OF GLACEAU

THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MICROSECOND

THEN READ ALL THE BLURBS ON THE SIDE OF THEIR VITAMINWATER BOTTLES

THEN SCREAM A LONG LONG SCREAM

― Just got offed, Saturday, July 19, 2008 5:58 PM (4 years ago)

I think about this every time I see a bottle of Vitamin Water ... still

where are these from Matt? Googled and found another:
http://enviableworkplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/DSC_0005-e1304558233324.jpeg

The buzz of 200 people in this space gives it the feel of an English Village Fair, while countless potted trees and picnic benches complete the notion that you’re outside on a sunny Summer’s day. The fake turf teases you to kick your shoes off, and looking around you can see many who have succumbed to the notion. Tucked away to the rear there is a lovely tree-lined, outdoor ‘beer garden’ area comprising 300 ft of shaded gravel with (of course) more picnic tables: perfect for Summer picnics, impromptu meetings or simply catching a breath of fresh air.
Jesus.

In fairness, I'd take that over my office.

kicking shoes off in the office should be a sacking offence for violating basic rules of HYGIENE and GROSSNESS not fucking encouraged

also were those people not wearing socks or...?

not wearing socks is uncivilised

tbf and mea culpa but I'm drinking a litre bottle of their mango and passionfruit smoothie right now - hate the player and the game but love the toothdecay syrup

i'm ill k

i had the flu a few weeks back and drank a bottle of vitamin water, so no judgments

Was it a twee bottle of vitamin water that tried to be matey with you? Normal vitamin water is fine.

http://enviableworkplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/DSC_0005-e1304558233324.jpeg

"Hey, what's up man, hi bro"

"If you don't like my song, you don't have to listen, Britta, alright? I'm an artist, and I write what I feel. And I feel that you suck."

i just bought my first ever innocent product :(

their juices are half price in sainsbury :(

never hated myself for buying something this much :(

> How many fucking tiny bobble hats do you need in one square foot of space?

that's a thing though, isn't it. once a year all the bottles come with tiny bobble hats and some money goes to some charity, somehow.

p much impossible to spend money at a supermarket without contributing to corporate dickheadery, self-forgiveness is the path of least resistance

I visited the Rackspace offices last year and they've got bizarre grassy bits and fake parks and stuff inside the building.

This mini has been converted to a four person meeting room
http://cdn.homedit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Rackspace-interior-design-company3.jpg

Swings
http://cdn.homedit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Rackspace-interior-design-company17.jpg

The reception area is lifted straight out of a Mirror's Edge level
http://cdn.homedit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Rackspace-interior-design-company10.jpg

preschool or workplace, who can guess

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111013220743/parksandrecreation/images/0/00/Entertainment_720_Building.jpg

i'm having my ape hour

Fuck those barefoot people.

http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/innocent_drinks/images/2007/04/27/dsc_0024.jpg

oh god, for a gigantic buzzsaw to fly along at head height here

that one guy in solitary confinement in the little cabin

actually that would probably be my chosen seat if i worked there

fuck off out of my cabin chuckleheads

i wd be down for being barefoot at work tbh. also having my own cabin.

turns out the french aren't immune to the exact same twee copy style:

http://www.micheletaugustin.com/indexflash.htm