Babygirl, unpack yr sweaters and get FABULOUS in FALL gay homo queer &c 2012

I have been leaning v heavily toward b) recently

(i don't mean to sound harsh but as detailed elsewhere on ilx my advice tends to be very #realtalk #fuckyofeelings and it's even more so irl, i wag my finger at people and everything and i'm ALWAYS RIGHT)

All joking aside, though, I agree with lex. Given (and this might not actually be given) the atmosphere of free sexuality in the scene ... I'm not sure I see that many other viable options except to truly embrace the freedom or gtfo.

The insularity of the social group is the problem. Eric otm. But I don't know how to fix it.

i think the best solution given the obstacles is to DEAL!

it sucks seeing your ex make out with someone else etc and it's totally understandable that it hurts but y'know what just force yourself to put up with it, focus on YOUR man, REFUSE to be upset - perhaps an easier way is to refuse to let him see that you're upset because that means he's "won" - and in time you'll wake up one day and you won't actually be upset

exactly. it's so fucked up, like, okay, we break up, and we take a month off, and then SURPRISE we both wind up in this same fucking thing where everything gets stirred back up

An ex-lover and close friend of mine, "A", he started dating an attention-starved young guy who'd clear his throat and place himself between anybody talking to A, he'd call A away from conversations, interrupt people talking to A, and so forth. It was especially directed toward me, as A and I still have a strong relationship that sometimes includes arms around each other in a brotherly way.

Anyway at first I was like "wow this guy sucks" but there was a strange pleasure I took in ignoring his pleas for attention, being unruffled when he'd split up any conversation. Stevie I think there's an immense amount of pleasure to be had in stoicism in the face of asshole exes (or their asshole new bfs). I hope you find that feeling soon.

i agree with lex for the most part here but otoh man the whole "i have to WIN this failed relationship" thing just...idk, sits uneasy with me. like i once dated this guy, i liked him i guess more than he liked me, things obv didn't work out but there was also this social situation where i ended up seeing him out every week for months after it ended, and i went ahead with the "ok, stiff upper lip, don't let him see you're upset, WIN this thing" etc, and it honestly just made me feel fucking miserable. i guess what i'm saying is if you think it'll aid in yr self-preservation, dropping out of the "scene", even if just for a time, is absolutely an option and one worth considering. (i think i am increasingly on whatever the opponent of team #fuckyofeelings is)

yeah taking time away can be important. like sometimes forcing yourself to deal with something is just not good for you. learned that one the hard way!

jordan that is so cool :-) :D :P <3

:-) :D :P <3

Reading all of those in a row makes it appear that the final one is mooning.

i was at a wedding recently and accidentally walked off with someone else's photobooth pictures. 2 guys mooning.

i have formed a relationship with my bed lately that is very important to me. not in a lifetime original movie way as much as like, i just need to recharge so step the fuck off

i'm into it, love winter

Yeah, ain't no man getting between me and my bed. Ever.

http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/imgs/artists/emin-tracey/tracey-emin-my-bed.jpg

could live there

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/1071/iwurua.jpg

http://www.thisisthedream.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Dru_Hill_feat_Big_Dex-In_My_Bed_3.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51B24XRHBVL._SL500_AA300_.jpg

i do all my best work in bed.

not a double-entendre.

I thought Courtney Love throwing her compact at Madonna ousting Madonna from her own interview was the shot heard 'round the female music world that was the equivalent to Kurt Cobain appearing in a ball gown on Headbanger's Ball, signalling the end of a terrible era. But you lousy kids are keeping her alive and Courtney tried become something like Madonna and I just weep.

If one must cry, it's best to cry alone.

stevie, after m4tt broke up with me a while back, there was no way for us to avoid each other. we had all the same friends. i had to go through a lot of painful times because of it, but in the end, i learned that i was a) being kind of a crybaby, no matter how genuine my feelings were, and b) that it is totally possible to remain friends with exes, but that you must simply place yourself outside of situations that you know trigger painful memories/etc.

in other words, it isn't your ex's responsibility to tiptoe around his feelings for the new guy.

like lex, i empathize totally, and know it really sucks, but you should probably either remove yourself from situations like this or just say "fuck it, we're not friends."

hi guys there are cookies in the house and i need not to eat them

but they are my favorite, chipless chocolate chip

how does that work?

Ryan made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and i asked him to leave the chips out of some

they are so happy

i've managed to only have 1 tonight

Oh I used to loooove those.

Yeah tabes I've kind of decided to do the avoiding-situations thing I think

gotta love a good void

or something

I prefer the term evacuate.

We talked today and cleared a LOT of stuff up; he apologized for being kind of a dick abt the whole thing and we agreed to try to avoid being at the same events, or maybe even going to events together as friends instead of going with our respective date-guys

this got no traction on the poli thread (lol), so.... Doug Ireland (longtime gay muckraker) suggests queer progressives hold Obama accountable, toss their HRC black tie:

http://gaycitynews.com/back-from-the-abyss/

It’s time for the access-oriented politics of the Human Rights Campaign’s gaycrats and their ilk to stop sucking up to corporate America and devote their money and resources to organize, organize, organize.

Well, yeah, ideally, but apparently this is all less compelling than deciding which artery-clogging fast food chains should be supported and which should be boycotted.

MN marriage-amendment lobby was a model of organization.

WHAT THE FUCK, WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THIS MOVIE UNTIL 5 MINUTES AGO??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upb-Cc49HRQ

ah, Germany in the '80s

On my phone; Taxi Zum Klo?

Yes. It looks amaaazing from the trailer.

most arty gloryhole movie, funny too.

btw, noted elsewhere, but hardly any of you in NYC anyway -- the gay experimental film fest has moved to Gowanus this week:

http://mixnyc.org/mix/schedule

whelp, i'm back. what's shakin?

my mom and my boyfriend are going to meet tonight

after 5 years

wow i'm nervous

understandable but it'll be fine.

i mean i don't think anything bad is going to happen but there's just a lot of time elapsed and now it's finally going to culminate, first with dinner tonight and then with us attending family thanksgiving together next week. it's a big milestone.

d. is kinda being weird with all the anxiety over this. can't say i blame him, tho.

i think i've tried watching taxi zum klo like 5 times over the past decade and always end up turning it off

perfidia (perfidy) is on netflix instant and rules. no-dialogue-for-the-first-forever-minutes-kinda-arty

dinner went very well. relieved.

yay!

Awesome!

:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4JkJb4svZ4&t=7m13s