Worst TV adverts of the moment

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Ugh, the AOL ad: Use us, or your children will grow up to be Islamic fundamentalist terrorists and will trigger WW3.

I guess they couldn't illustrate the ad with porn though.

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:50 (twenty years ago)

They should really be using Islamic fundamentalism to promote their product - after all, where would the Jihad be without the internet?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:51 (twenty years ago)

there's a blurry allusion to pornography, in the AOL adverts

"orwell was right..." is the bad thing about it

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (twenty years ago)

the other aol advert i saw was them saying that the internet couldn't be stopped and couldn't be censored by governments. over the top of images of chinese students stood in front of tanks. isn't china the one example of where a government has pretty much managed to censor the internet?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/4587622.stm

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (twenty years ago)

So obviously AOL does not do business with the Communist Party of China, right?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (twenty years ago)

... and has no plans to do so in the future?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (twenty years ago)

And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I'm I the only one who's seen this? Maybe I dreamed it.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:13 (twenty years ago)

It sounds awesome, anyway!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:21 (twenty years ago)

http://www.nndb.com/people/279/000022213/crumb-sui.jpg

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

I didn't dream it. It's real. All too real. Crumbelievable. (OHH! cue piano, etc.)

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

any advery with that calm down dear guy in it he is so f***ing irritating

― David Arnold, Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Michael Winner? I just remembered I had a dream about him last night! He got really exasperated with me for some reason. It's cause I'd seen another godawful ad with him - the "everyone's a winner, just like me!" one for the Daily Mail. Cunt.

― Cracks (Crackity), Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:53 (twenty years ago)

Advert for shit new Richard Ashcroft album wherein he is described as, believe it or not, the legendary Richard Ashcroft

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 February 2006 17:48 (twenty years ago)

tha cillit bang ads
im barry scott and im a dickhead who likes to shout

the garnier nutrisse ads with davina mccall
"no mum,this is good for my hair because the name is nourish and thats a good thing"
fukin idiot, it dusnt say a single technical thing in the whole advert just its calld nourish so it must b good

tha child trust fund one
theres a baby doin an aerobics class
wot stupid diks the adults are
dey r following a baby
bollocks they r soooooooooooooo retarded

― Gangstarrrr, Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:01 (twenty years ago)

No, the Cillit Bang ones with Barry Scott PLUS some random woman with the mankiest bath in the world. They are crap, even beyond the knowingly crap that they think they are.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:11 (twenty years ago)

Um, is anyone else slightly afraid of the baby/tiny man who is making our toilet paper?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

Can I also put in a vote for whoever came up with "great value-amundo" to be BADLY HURT?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:58 (twenty years ago)

omg we saw a Cillit Bang advert in Spain in Spanish - best thing ever

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:00 (twenty years ago)

plinky plinky gizmo!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:12 (twenty years ago)

Seelet Beng!

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:18 (twenty years ago)

The low-fi ones like Cillit Bang and the consolidate-your-debts ones with people striding purposefully through call centres talking about CCJs – they're annoying but really well-made. Designed to give you the impression that these people are just like you and understand your needs (e.g. banks make me nervous, that place looks more friendly) and that they don't waste their customers' money on high tech marketing, they're down to earth you see. Scarily effective, apparently.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:22 (twenty years ago)

Except there's one fronted by a repulsive old guy with a paintbrush mustache who looks like he belongs to the British Union of Fascists circa 1935.

― chap who would dare to be completely sober on the internet (chap), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:29 (twenty years ago)

"he's young and confused"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.
-- Anna

Yes, as Hello Sunshine pointed out, this is indeed a kangaroo and the reason I clicked on this thread. But you know ... it *is* wearing a hat most of the time.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:38 (twenty years ago)

have we talked about that phone ad that uses a horrible version of "Hangin' on the Telephone"?

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

It's a kangaroo, and it wears a chauffeur's cap. Why do the sheilas need motor insurance if they aren't even driving?

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 23:17 (twenty years ago)

I miss the Elite Carpet Drycleaners Ghostbusters rip-off ads!

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:11 (twenty years ago)

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

These are the *best* adverts on at the moment:

"For bonza car insurance deals, girls get down to Sheila's wheels..."
"For ladies who enjoy their cars, Sheila's wheels are superstars..."

So damn catchy!

― Tehrannosaurus HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:34 (twenty years ago)

I have a vision of Charlie Sheen sitting at a piano, writing the jingles for those ads.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Bleugh and that breathe easy strips advert or whatever they are - "this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot, its the veins in them exploding" or something like that. I feel physically sick especially when I'm eating tea in front of the telly. Sickening.

You forgot the worst bit. It goes something like:

[posh man with posh voice]: this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot...

(Jump cut to posh mans mouth)

[same posh man putting on even posher voice]: YUCK!

[posh man back to normal posh voice]: its the veins in them exploding....

Truly infuriating.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I did notice though that one of these ads featured about half a dozen redular members of the public, and EVERY ONE OF THEM was grotesquely obese. What can it mean??

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:43 (twenty years ago)

People need loans to fund their doughnut habits?

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:48 (twenty years ago)

Personally I rob people to fund mine. Seems easier.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:51 (twenty years ago)

renault clio - that fucking girl thinks she's sooooooooo hot 'ooh nicole, papa, french cars, jean-paul satre, pffft!, the most romantic city in the world!' that and the stupid music dribbling past like some gallic weak orgasm. this advert could be responsible for shifting francophilia to francophobia in me. *yeeuch* shudder.

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:35 (twenty years ago)

You are called Jeremy and don't fool me!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

bang to rights guv - i'm that smug and that bald

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:50 (twenty years ago)

oh god i hate the 'gorgeous is...' car ad.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Me too. It just goes ON and ON and on AND on and on.

It's like a bad Calvin Klein ad from the early nineties.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:56 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

Dunkin Donuts - "Doing things is what I like to do...YES!" song

Make it stop!!

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:34 (twenty years ago)

I loathe the crass sponsorship ads from Cadbury before Coronation Street and in particular the one with the grungy student type falling into a cardboard box while drinking tea out of a vase. What the fxxx is that about?

― Barry Scott, Monday, 24 April 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't know if it's one of the worst or one of the best (for it's sheer improbability) but there's an ad for Kraft Cheese Crumbles which for music has a fake-EMF singing "They're Crumbelievable!" instead of "unbelievable." The guy singing sounds like he took the gig really seriously, too.
And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

-- Nemo (jdevereux...), January 20th, 2006 8:42 AM. (JND) (link)

I would've accused you of having hid in my living room last night were it not for the fact that you posted the above statement three months ago.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 24 April 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

freaky

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:09 (twenty years ago)

that pepsi commercial that looks like a car commercial, with the high pitched jingle that can annoy from several rooms away

― a.b. (alanbanana), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:31 (twenty years ago)

I want to kick the shitty pseudo-Austrailian guy in the Outback steakhouse commercials in the fucking teeth.

― joygoat (joygoat), Monday, 24 April 2006 23:27 (twenty years ago)

The new Daily Express advert with it's creepy fascist undertones. Actually made me go "OH FUCK OFF!" at my TV as the strapline came on at the end.

― Treblekicker (treblekicker), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 10:57 (twenty years ago)

There's one on just now for some kind of training company, ICS, it's got a really annoying woman saying "Want to learn at home for a new career but don't think you can do it? ICS you can!"

They think the line is so clever they make her say "ICS you can" about ten times in the one advert.

It makes me want to weep.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Treblekicker, what one's that?

The "did you feel something?" ad for Wilkinson Sword or whoever - razors seem to be the new chewing gum in unwatchable advert stakes.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:46 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, yes that's terrible - esp. the inept dubbing!

― Kids Will Eat Them Till the Cows Come Home (Dada), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:47 (twenty years ago)

I surprised myself when I went off on an expletive-riddled tirade last night against the J Nesbitt one where he's on the phone rhapsodizing about his penis car when wifey says, "oh btw I'm pregnant," and cue the "let me call you back" and trying-to-cram-a-carseat in a 2-seater montage, then grimly phoning up about a papal carrier. As though by "pregnant" she meant "and with quints".

Combo of cliched corvette-owning jerk plus overstyled yuppie apt plus woman in role of smug manipulative killjoy really put me off! I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:06 (twenty years ago)

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