ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

“Silent Hill: Revelation 3-D,” second in a video-game-derived series and follow-up to a big hit that flew somewhat under the radar six years ago

can we marvel at this for a bit

"a big hit that was under the radar" ie I am a mouthbreathing feeb who can't even sustain a coherent argument for the length of a sentence

I kiss you, jjjusten.

Just a dude makin stuff up baout horror movies

Absentia. Good movie. But I don't get why [SPOILERS AHOY] if the husband was just underground in bugtown, why he was showing up as a ghost in the first half of the film? What did I miss?

Excision. Ah, Christ, lots of energy wasted on this one. Wants so bad to be May that it tries to create its own Angela Bettis. I imagine anyone who has seen the still photos of this film gets pretty bummed when all that vibrant imagery is relegated to a few dumb dream scenes.

I will add:

Absentia was really well done considering how smalltime it was. I really liked the two female leads and they were totally believable sisters.

Excision, on the other hand, had a ton of celebrity cameos and none of them could save it. The desperation to be cool reminded me of that Robin Williams movie where he swims naked and is serenaded by Bruce Hornsby. Not recommended.

hahahaha what? phantasmagorical journey are you shitting me? also gtfo with this clear nods to Lynch thing, ive seen the movie and just because something weird happens it doesnt make it a goddamn homage to lynch ffs. i guess the wachowski nod is "look this has a shitload of cgi in it, remember the matrix, that stuff was all over in those movies."

Yeah, whut? I actually was quite impressed with the original Silent Hill, but it is in no way Lynchian, ffs. Plus one thing I liked was that they used live-action for a fair few bits that they could well have fucked up with CGI, but I dunno, pretty sure it had quite a bit of it still.

haha i just reread my critique and got mad all over again. i was just writing as i thought of stuff, theres lots more in that article to be ridiculed. i mean for starters, theres the great point where he talks about how enormously popular horror films are and then say that they have lost cultural relevance IN THE SAME SENTENCE

now i understand why people get all hulked up about rockism

Re: "Absentia," it was the rare film where I appreciated its lack of explanation, but the implication was not simply that they were underground but that they were in some sort of parallel dimension. So I got the impression he was trying to break through to her, though why as a scary ghost, I dunno. Unless he was just miffed that he was being declared dead in absentia, rather than "absconded by bug spirits to an alternate world." OTM with them being plausible sisters. The one was even plausibly pregnant, which is even more rare in the movies.

First dude to appear in the tunnel was all "you can SEE me?!?" They were around. Assume scary ghost aspects were her subconscious attempting to make sense of his presence.

xp: she was actually pregnant.

I liked the cops too. Good casting all around in that movie.

huh i liked absentia but feel like it's a tad overrated here, the acting was the weak spot for me

None of that satisfactorily explains why the husband was a scary ghost. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that might be a fault with the film.

Yeah, it def. would have worked better if he was a nicer, "help me" sort of ghost.

did anyone else see "silent house" (not "silent hill")? the ending was kind of lame (you don't HAVE to have a twist, guys, especially when it's totally obvious) but it was effectively scary. good use of gimmick (takes place in real time, edited so it looks like all one shot), darkness, and the quirks of digital video to create a really claustrophobic, creepy tone.

I think they had to keep the twist considering it was a remake

i got a netflix dvd of it waiting at home. already know the twist so i'm hoping it's less likely to annoy

I think they had to keep the twist considering it was a remake

― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Monday, November 5, 2012 7:15 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah but if you've already seen the original getting rid of the twist would be like a whole other twist

i'm just sick of obligatory twists. fuck you shyamalan

http://zombiesatemygames.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/sleepaway-camp.jpg

...Dream Home (which is on netflix streaming fyi) is a pretty interesting weird thing, it has one foot in the sorta half-comedic slightly overblown melodrama get out of HK cinema a lot, and the other foot in totally gonzo splatter brutality. its pretty jarring, but its also pretty amazing and i really dug it.

on a less optimistic note, the innkeepers is sitting at my house right now, so you can prob all look forward to me getting cranky abt people continuing to give a shit abt ti west.

― O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Thursday, September 27

didn't love or hate inkeepers. thought it was okay. scary and well constructed, but the characters bugged me. nice ending.

plus howdy, y'all

i watched apartment 148, undocumented, pop skull, and cold fish. more thoughts on all of them when i get a chance

― I'M THE ONLY ON (jjjusten), Wednesday, October 3, 2012 1:39 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Watched "The Woman" yesterday. Haven't seen "Offspring," I think the only other McKee I've seen is his installment of "Masters of Horror" with Angela Bettis as the entomologist. Anyway, it ultimately seemed a lot less than the sum of its parts. The parts were often considerably good, but at the end I was left very "meh." The musical cues were preposterous.

― Tom Hardy & the Batbreakers (Phil D.), Monday, October 15

Excision. Ah, Christ, lots of energy wasted on this one. Wants so bad to be May that it tries to create its own Angela Bettis. I imagine anyone who has seen the still photos of this film gets pretty bummed when all that vibrant imagery is relegated to a few dumb dream scenes.

― The Thnig, Thursday, November 1, 2012

Excision, on the other hand, had a ton of celebrity cameos and none of them could save it. The desperation to be cool reminded me of that Robin Williams movie where he swims naked and is serenaded by Bruce Hornsby. Not recommended.

― these albatrosses have no fear of man (La Lechera), Thursday, November 1, 2012

and i guess it came out last year, but father's day rules. best movie ever associated with troma, and a way better tribute to their 80s heyday than hobo with a shotgun. super dumb, but smart-funny and crude as hell.

er, ah, i mean i loved excision. incision is some other thing. probably.

i guess i've missed this thread...

o hai contenderizer welcome back

so I'm not sure how I missed this one but I started watching hansel and gretel, a 2007 south korean flick. like most good korean flicks it's got top notch cinematography, sets, and sound design. for context's sake I'd call it similar to a tale of two sisters, but don't really want to give too much info about the plot. not knowing anything goes a long way here. streaming on netflix.

Trina is among my most hated things, but I will give fathers day a shot. Prob going to give "the black rock" a shot here soon, watched the first 10 minutes and I think it's way less stupid than the awful cover art implies

Rejected last night without even getting beyond the main titles:
The Hidden
Dark House

Not Trina, troma

the hidden from 1987?

no, 2011

i also hate troma, but father's day does a good job of being like a troma movie on the surface while avoiding the crushing generic dumbness of most of their product. the style is troma, but the sensibility is much smarter and stranger. it's got problems: a lot of dumb or just plain unfunny jokes, "grindhouse" stylization, overstated tastelessness, but like i said, it's easily the best troma flick i've ever seen (faint praise, sure).

oh right, hence the thread in which i'm posting xp

I have solid memories of the '87 Hidden, tho it's been a very long time since I watched it. It def gets points for starring a young, Blue Velvet-era Kyle MacLachlan!

I like Troma's The Children and Combat Shock a lot and for some odd reason I have a memory of quite enjoying Terror Firmer. There has to be a few more gems that I'm forgetting.

The Children was great!!

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8054/8098572607_db4ea2cecc.jpg

yeah, there are bright moments here and there. i remember liking tromeo and juliet, but it's been a while.

Ok the American version of silent house might actually be the worst horror remake ever. Avoid like the fucking plague, so infuriatingly wrongheaded and terrible.

never saw the original, had to stop the remake about a quarter of the way in

oh wait i'm thinking of dream house. i actually did watch silent house (though it was weak).

i wasn't over the moon about the original, but it was a solid horror romp, this remake is really stunningly awful though, and misses the point of the original film in every way. seems to exist only as a vehicle for down blouse shots of the third olsen spawn.

Speaking of which, I think I want to do an eoy horror poll. Leaning towards a quick nomination round, spanning oct 2011 to oct 2012 (with the caveat that post oct stuff from this year will be allowed, but prob will have limited support.) followed by a top ten limited ballot poll.

I will be fairly down & dirty with the rollout unless someone wants to volunteer graphics or w/e. blurbs accepted, but not required.

Before I bother, are other people down with this?

I am!

i doubt i could name 10 good horror movies i saw since october that were actually released since october

Joe Dante's "The Hole" is now streaming on Netflix. I'm not sure it was good, but it's ... not bad? Lit bright like a cheap TV movie, with some questionable pacing, effects, acting. Not really scary at all until, maybe, the end. And yet, there's something to it. It's like a dark, kids version of "House." Not sure who its audience is meant to be. Apparently ... no one!