i always lose my enthusiasm for this look at about 8 weeks. which is now.
― last week's meme (Hunt3r), Friday, 26 October 2012 13:08 (eleven years ago) link
hi beardos, i have an embarrassing issue so i'm going to state it publicly and ask for advice because it's 2014.
i'm trying to grow this beard thing. first time. it started off looking like a really bad teenbeard, as i knew it would, but after a few weeks it filled in a little. things are ok. oh yeah, except for one thing:
it doesn't grow up at the top, starting at about an inch beneath my ears. there's a gap. it's embarrassing. people are asking me if i'm doing it on purpose. what a fucking disaster.
what should i do? is this is a sign from above? do i just keep waiting? do i fake it and do some sort of blended thing where i trim it so that it gradually fades in? do i ditch the teenbeard and just go with the mustache alone? give it another 15 years and try again? wtf is wrong with me?
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:07 (ten years ago) link
When I was younger, I had that problem. As I got older, hair started growing in that little area between sideburn and beard and has done so ever since. I don't know how much that had to do with shaving and how much that had to do with just biological aging or what.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:09 (ten years ago) link
Just keep waiting. It will come. Unless it doesn't. Then I don't know what to do with you.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:10 (ten years ago) link
It took until my 30s for the mustache to come in. It's not the thick, luscious Selleck like mustache I desire, but it suffices.
― Jeff, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
visual representation of the problem:
http://i.imgur.com/DJhb2jG.jpg
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:23 (ten years ago) link
Oh dear, that's much more severe a hair deficit than I had ever suffered, but my brother was sort of in your boat and his finally started coming in after he turned 32 or so.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:24 (ten years ago) link
this morning's division meeting took an excruciating turn when someone mentioned the gap, and then someone else said something about it looking like abe lincoln, and then someone else who felt sorry for me tried to make me feel better by reminding everyone that abe lincoln was a great president
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:24 (ten years ago) link
i mean seriously, should i just shave off this monstrosity, deal with a few more days of awkward comments at work about how it's not there any more, and move on with my life?
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:25 (ten years ago) link
http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Anchor_Beard.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:27 (ten years ago) link
Looks kind of neckbeardy. I would lose it.
― sonderborg, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:28 (ten years ago) link
Revisit the idea again in a year or two and see how things develop. Don't go around looking like Andrew Luck, though.
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:28 (ten years ago) link
is there anything happening in the gap at all? any hopeful blonde shoots?
if not, you need to shave it.
― dylannn, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:29 (ten years ago) link
like...just a few? not too many! i wish i could just go off to an island for a few months and see what happens, away from the judging eyes of humanity
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:31 (ten years ago) link
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gs8ryNQPGsg/UaUo28LYCQI/AAAAAAAAAew/JWk_6zVzh7k/s1600/Hannibal7.jpg
― caek, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:31 (ten years ago) link
ok. think i'm going to shave it. leave the stache for an evening, but maybe ditch that as well. RIP 2014 halfbeard. i'll try again when i'm even older
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:42 (ten years ago) link
i'll probably be able to grow a full beard on my butt before i can grow one on my face
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:43 (ten years ago) link
happens to the best of us
― caek, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:43 (ten years ago) link
another decade or two and you can grow your ear hair out to cover the empty spots
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:44 (ten years ago) link
it is done.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 6 February 2014 00:27 (ten years ago) link
what a nightmare
Oh man - had excellent advice to give. If only I had seen this sooner
― 龜, Thursday, 6 February 2014 00:55 (ten years ago) link
what was the advice?
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 6 February 2014 00:58 (ten years ago) link
Shave it. Shave it all
― 龜, Thursday, 6 February 2014 00:59 (ten years ago) link
i felt your advice waves enter my mind before you even projected them, and carried out the task
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 6 February 2014 01:01 (ten years ago) link
i think you have to go past the point you would feel comfortable with elsewhere on your face, until everything you need bearded is bearded
then trim the rest to suit
and never shave it again
that's how to do it
then other men will know that you are a patient man who can be relied upon when things are really important (e.g. growing beards)
― j., Thursday, 6 February 2014 01:01 (ten years ago) link
So is growing a beard really a painstakingly slow process for some men?
― ∞, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 18:25 (ten years ago) link
i had completely forgotten about my abandoned factory/bustling courtyard dilemma until this thread, unlike the hair that hypothetically would grow near my upperjaws, popped up
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 18:27 (ten years ago) link
it is a very uneven process for me. I could have a very full midwestern goatee very quickly, but everything else is pretty sparse.
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 2 July 2014 18:27 (ten years ago) link
Mine seems to have reached a peak where it won't grow much further. It's okay though.
― 3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 3 July 2014 13:05 (ten years ago) link
Just keep trying guys.
― Jeff, Thursday, 3 July 2014 13:57 (ten years ago) link
i tried growing a beard a while ago and got the same factory floor problem. i can grow a pretty legit mustache, though, but it makes me look like I'm trying out a Sgt. Peppers costume for Halloween. i've just resigned myself to no facial hair at all.
― Spectrum, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:14 (ten years ago) link
Don't think I can shave again in case this happens:
http://www.webburgr.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/shave-beard-001.jpg
(with thanks to pfunkboy)
― 3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:16 (ten years ago) link
You know, there may be a point in your life where looking younger, one might even say "boyish," will be feature not bug.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:21 (ten years ago) link
haha, it's the next day after shaving though - it takes your face a while to recover and until then you get this weird puffy top lip and your face looks like a marshmallow.
― 3kDk (dog latin), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:24 (ten years ago) link
So glad my current bf can't grow a not-laughable beard and I will never have to have this conversation with him.
― Orson Wellies (in orbit), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:26 (ten years ago) link
this arbitrary thing about my body gives me points in the man club scam, yaaaay
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:37 (ten years ago) link
i am never growing a beard
― guwop (crüt), Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:46 (ten years ago) link
you should grow a beard
― Sufjan Grafton, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:51 (ten years ago) link
Grow a beard.
― Jeff, Thursday, 3 July 2014 14:59 (ten years ago) link
Stop hiding behind that beard, it alternately mutes and distorts your facial expressions
― brimstead, Thursday, 3 July 2014 15:22 (ten years ago) link
existential beard problems.
why does the beard exist? what is the purpose of the beard? can one truly be fulfilled by achieving the perfect beard?
― ∞, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:06 (ten years ago) link
that cartoon is v accurate to my experience, was surprising to shave for the first time in eight years and be faced with the me of eight years ago.
― Merdeyeux, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:13 (ten years ago) link
shaved mine this morning (not because of this thread)
― Brad C., Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:15 (ten years ago) link
People with beards should be put to death
― 龜, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:17 (ten years ago) link
yeah that cartoon way otm. just cut mine off for the first time in a couple years cuz i'm in a play and it took me from like 35 to 18. (i am neither of these ages.)
― difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:17 (ten years ago) link
I've grown mine into a corner, it's become too thick that I don't know how to extend length without it getting out of control. I guess the trick is to trim the sides and let it grow off thin jawline?
― Fiddler on a hot tin roof (ed.b), Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:22 (ten years ago) link
yeah i never mastered the late stage.
― difficult listening hour, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:24 (ten years ago) link
(it is easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine a change to my beard)
yea having a well-kept, maintained, long beard is a challenge. i find it easier to just keep a very short beard that is trimmed to stubble once a month or so. mine is super-thick, dark and curly and it gets unruly pretty fast.
thank god i stopped shaving a few years ago, my life improved dramatically. shaving was fucking miserable, especially w/ the beard my genes gave me. my skin is so much healthier now.
― marcos, Thursday, 3 July 2014 17:29 (ten years ago) link