Babygirl, unpack yr sweaters and get FABULOUS in FALL gay homo queer &c 2012

Wait number of ppl or number of TIMES? Or are their boundaries coterminous?

lol @ coterminous

pain; not a lot of pleasure

also alfred: get tested together, let him know you won't put up with high-risk activities

good idea!

pain; not a lot of pleasure

Stevie's Guide To The Butt:

• lots of lube*, both on you and him
• slooowwwly start with one finger, then two fingers, then three
• take dat pee-pee

*NEVER use lube w numbing agents (often marketed as anal-specific lube though some anal-specific lubes are just thicker and have no numbing chemicals), bcz if it hurts yr body is telling you to stop. NEVER use a "warming" lube (trust).

People, tho times easily on two hands.

Deborah Kerr: "Not without an adding machine!"

More like Deborah Whorr.

http://youtu.be/yydxdWaoOJg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yydxdWaoOJg

buttsecks is awesome; in both roles

so, that's that.

after pretty much no contact for 36 hours, he popped online this morning and during pleasant conversation about my job interviews and his job applications for various museum things, he casually mentioned that he probably wouldn't come to rocky horror with my friends and i this weekend because per his request i'd been giving him space and he'd been feeling better and he wanted more space for unspecified time.

so i inquired if 'more space' meant 'breaking up' and he didn't want to do it, but he mostly wanted me to do it. he said too stressed and anxious etc. for a relationship right now, and i guess taking the romantic relationship-pressure off of us means that he can be friends with me without feeling anxious and i can support him without resenting him for being a crappy boyfriend?

i'd pretty much knew at some level that this was an inevitably and last night i'd made my peace with it and i am 100% sure it's for the best but i still kind of feel like crying and being gross but instead i need to go to an appointment and then get work done.

more excitingly, i got (at least) one second-round job interview. So, huzzah!

Goddamn, Alex. I'm sorry. Come to happy hour – I'll buy you a drink.

:-/

so sorry, alex. wishing you well. keep your head up, crush that interview, & remember that the gaylxors love you.

Very sorry to hear, Alex. Now go kill that interview (what is the job, if its ok to talk abt here?).

:(

sorry to hear this alex, comforting vibes your way

Job interview isn't until November 5th. Basically law is insane and at the beginning of your second last year of school you apply to a bunch of summer jobs and go through multi-step interview processes and get a job in theory by December for the summer and then if they like you at the end of the summer they invite you back for post-graduation when (in Canada) you have to article for a year - kind of a vestigial mandatory apprenticeship year. Unlike the us you can't just write the bar and start practicing. Then at the end of the articling year they can hire you back as a first-year associate etc.

But the only people who can really afford to hire summer and often articling students are bigger and some mid-sized firms and also the government. So all the people who don't get kept on post-articling or dont want to stay then can go on to in house counsel stuff or smaller firms or non-profits or whatever. Oh and you can clerk for a judge instead of articling iirc

Anyway, so a month ago were the first round of Toronto interviews where I got one with leg4l aid and two with small boutique firms that do a mix of litigation and also some really awesome cool social justice-y type work. The downside of those is that unlike big firms who hire ~20 or so a summer, these hire three. They interviewed 20 from my school first round but take only 18 nationally for second round for 3 spots so the odds were never amazing but I'm still a bit miffed. But I got a second round with Leg4l A1D so that isn't bad and there are lots of other applications in the future.

Honestly at the moment I am mostly annoyed that my hq headphones are malfunctioning, thereby preventing me from basking in TS' "Last Kiss". Which, I can't even remember when ours was so how am I supposed to appropriately create a narrative moment for me to experience here. Lol.

Hallowe'ekend will involve much dancing and it's traditionally when my friends and I pivot in and out of relationships. Last year two of my best friends broke up with long term partners just before Halloween and one of them just started dating someone so it was time.

kind of a vestigial mandatory apprenticeship year

Man, I sort of wish every vocation required this.

(Incidentally, found out the guy who bought my two drinks without telling me last week is partnered. Why do I fly off the handle like this?)

you need your handle tightened.

Tightness would appear to be the main problem.

Two fingers should do it.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb0hvyE9wQ1qc1ukho1_500.jpg

i haven't even bothered making plans for h'ween as i know i will blow them off anyway

Fuuuuck Alex I am so sorry :-( :-( :-( come to Philly and we will dance our cares away

I have absolutely 0 hween plans and even if I did I am way too far in the red to justify spending money on anything right now. My faerie friend wants to buy me a ticket to see Justin Bond tonight though so that'll be fun

I have no costume plans yet. Tried to see if I could get a mohawk out of what little hair I allow on my head, ended up just shaving my whole scalp.

not horror enough for you but Mr Clean wd work

Wish I had thought to grow out some facial hair. I could be Walter White.

so sorry, alex

don't think i have any halloween plans this year. i'm ok with this

I'm pretty fine everyone! Just bought new headphones and maybe I will be caught by surprise by feelings later but it's mostly a low level blah. Maybe I got all my crying out last week?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImbI5xFATa4

also yes, alex, my sympathies. sounds like the boy is still the center of his own world.

Nah. He's just. He's young. And has stuff to deal with. I've been there. It was my call at the end of the day. It's not like I was super happy either. I mean. Sigh. I am so defensive of him. Haha.

I mean if you had asked me when we started going out "needs to figure himself out on his own" was a pretty big potential reason for eventually ending it. I just thought maybe we'd gotten past the window.

But seriously can we all talk about other fun things? Sympathies are appreciated and I love you all bu I don't want this to be Alex's personal getting over a breakup thread

Right! Let's discuss this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E6KYHxvEGg&feature=fvsr

well, okay, i won't give sympathies or whatever, but i'm just weighing in on some things that have been said here...

- re: the time thing with lex: i agree with dr3w, at least in terms of cohabitation and that sort of thing. it's not about "making time," it's about sharing time, and if it feels too much like you're "making time" for someone, then it can turn weird and full of resentment. my bf and i have been together for over a year and a half, we live together, but we definitely have different lives. we work on things at the same time— i write, he draw (he's a tattoo artist)— but a lot of the time, we see each other at the beginning of a day, then by noon we're off doing different things, then by 8 or 9 we're back at home getting ready to go out or just cooking and drinking beer and watching Dr. Who (which is what we did last night).

also, dr3w, for some reason i think it is telling that we have the same routine re: food and etc. i make the coffee in the morning, and when i come home, he's usually all ready with some food to cook and we either do it together or i DJ and he cooks. anyway...

- re: fights....we've had probably three major blowouts ever, one of them a few weeks ago. i cried all night and couldn't sleep. then we met up the next day and talked for a bit and everything was fine. i've had relationships where fighting was more of a feature, but even those turned into major life-long friendships, which brings me to...

- alex, my boy and i broke up for a while because he felt similarly to jf, but after about a month, we came together again and have been together ever since. sometimes absence and space gives a person the clarity they need to realize how much you mean to them. my bf has certainly told me as much. anyway, what i'm saying is don't stress about it, and don't let him preoccupy your thoughts, but it can 'come around' again, if both of you are willing to work on it and realize what made the problems exist in the first place. obviously, this is all conjecture, but it CAN happen, and i'm really glad it happened to me.

- also, love you all. wish i could spend more time on here, but with school, job stuff, and finishing up this goddamn book, i'm swamped.

i'm just glad i finished that essay on Wojnarowicz....which i never emailed to you, jo3, sorry. will do today.

it's not about cohabitation! that might make it easier! because we don't live together, and in fact live at opposite ends of london, i feel like when he comes over or when i go over, pretty much 100% of our attention is on each other. like it'd be stupid for me to do work while he's around if we only see each other a couple of times per week. and i enjoy that, except because my time management is an utter disaster it also stresses me out because it means the things i need to get done...don't get done even more.

or, it is that thing of being comfortable living separate lives, except by the time we should be getting together again, i haven't finished the things i need to have finished. this was a problem i had when i was single and adding one more time commitment to the mix is not helping matters.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod I just spent the last hour hanging out w Justin Vivian Bond, so so incredible, one of the best shows I've seen in God knows how long and also a super amazing person to boot. I think I'm starstruck.

If any of you ever get even the most remote of opportunities to see v, drop plans/reschedule parties/call in sick/etc. I mean my hopes were p high as it was but this completely exceeded all expectations.

I enjoyed the one solo show I've seen, but still nostalgic for K&H.

Ha, I had to look up who that was, but I saw Kiki & Herb in hs bc my girlfriend wanted to....

She's now married to a woman she met on her rugby team.