Babygirl, unpack yr sweaters and get FABULOUS in FALL gay homo queer &c 2012

If I ever get a companion, it's separate bedrooms.

If I ever get a companion, I'm going to crawl inside their body.

if i ever live with a boyfriend (LOL) separate bedrooms is a must

Ugh but then there's so much time wasted in commuting

Time gained in sleeping imo

Cohabitation > everything
I've lived w some slobby derpressed lovers too but it makes everything fantastic

It occurs to me I could probably pull off a Joaquin in The Master Halloween costume this year.

my boyfriend is literally my favorite human being in the world and i get sad when we are apart for very long so that's my excuse

Cohabitation > everything

better than a Hendrick's martini with a twist?

the gin and the twist are cohabitating

my boyfriend is literally my favorite human being in the world and i get sad when we are apart for very long so that's my excuse

this is one of those sentiments that makes me squint at people and wonder if they can teach me to be human

and i LIKE a boy atm and everything

It's the mutual thing that's hard for me to buy in many cases. Like, I can clearly see in a lot of relationships where one person is more devoted to the other one. But I'm sure there are tradeoffs.

I get slightly crazy when bf isn't around and do things like overshare on message boards
He's on vacation right now, took off to Istanbul the bastard
When he's around I'm twice as good, squint away
He's sending me some extremely delicious looking food photos

mmmm food porn

We're total opposites, though, he un-WASPs me and defuses my anxiety, gets me out of workaholic mode, and in turn I help him with logic, punctuality and comprehension
(You can tell which one is the hit at the party)

Can you both play cribbage?

No
Different gaming styles. He once overturned a card table bc I wouldn't show my hand after out betting him
He's fun, you'd like him
We sleep together and shower together but watch different TV shows
Him: Project Runway, Top Chef. Me: Game of Thrones, RuPaul

i have co-habbing fantasies (mostly = trolling craigslist rentals for 1-BRs with yards)

before this relationship i'd forgotten how nice it is to shower together

oh I love showering together.

seems counterproductive!

how do people find the time to be in relationships? i feel like i literally can't cope with juggling work/life admin/making time to see him. I DON'T HAVE THIS MUCH TIME IN MY LIFE. and this is just to see him 2-3 times per week, those couples who are permanently with each other are just a total mystery (never wanna be like them either)

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 24 October 2012 17:35 (1 hour ago) Permalink

if you move in together then it's really not some laborious task or duty involving scheduling and seeing if you can squeeze someone in etc. I live with my boyfriend and it's great. TMI but: I wake up first and I go feed the cat and make the coffee and bring him a cup in bed and then I get dressed and walk out the door to my job. I come home, there is, he/we cook dinner, talk, do our thing- sometimes together, sometimes I go off and take care of whatever I need to take care of, then, when it's time to go to bed, there he is. We read to each other in bed, working through novels a chapter a night. Repeat. We also make records together and go on tour together and spend months and months being together all day everyday, but we can just as easily break out and accomplish things on our own, even with very time consuming jobs. i.e. you can be joined at the ass in the sense of tight with each other, really close and intuitively connected without being, er, "joined at the ass" in the sense of caught in a co-dependent and high maintenance vortex of nagging and obligation that sucks up all your time and energy. The workload for my job is really intense, no kidding, I am often in my office working until 2 am- but my bf helps me handle that. I have found that having a boyfriend makes it easier to do your job well- there's someone else to help you out in lots of big and little ways domestically and emotionally, and yeah that's a two way street and you need to help them out sometimes too, but it really is possible to do a demanding job while still having a boyfriend. Just saying it's not a choice between Option A and Option B. I'm not saying you should want this or that there's one normative pattern for "smug marrieds" and everyone else is rong, but I am saying a relationship should (ideally) make you more rather than less capable of being yourself. This Halloween will be our 20th anniversary.

Nah you wash each other's backs, it rules

A married couple friend(s) of mine once told me how they shower together every day and my first reaction was "gross."

I have found that having a boyfriend makes it easier to do your job well- there's someone else to help you out in lots of big and little ways domestically and emotionally

Yeah, this would be sweet.

dr$w otm

that was an xp

Congrats on your anniversary, dude. Awesome post too.
No problem with "smug marrieds", myself, after a lifetime of enduring "you won't feel your life has purpose until you have children" shit in every book and film forever

I'm sure that's all true, it's just hard to wrap your head around in the abstract re a Domestic Partner X.

(X has always been unavailable)

We read to each other in bed, working through novels a chapter a night.

completely adorable, jeez

I'm going to start living my life in a manner that allows me to deserve that.

i.e. not react badly if people buy me a drink

drew completely otm, i mean ideally the work you perform sustaining and caring for each other is not burdensome, and it's nice when somebody can pack your lunch before you leave or have a dinner waiting for you and vice versa, or however you choose to divide the tasks of daily life

shared showers are pretty great too

When baby got diagnosed w high blood pressure and had to cut out bacon, it was extremely pleasurable to buy and serve him raw almonds in the morning as he hissed "I want to dieeee" (he loved bacon)

yeah i don't think of it as a burden at all to cook/buy food for B if i know he's super-stressed from his job. i like doing it!

this is not the kind of thing i was complaining about fyi

that is the kind of long-termness i have never really got to so i wouldn't know

The giving up whole and total autonomy thing?

i do like being the Boss o' Me

Think of how much fun it would be to boss someone else around part-time, tho.

I've tried, they don't obey.

idk lex "how do you find the time" is kind of a moot question when you live together

i've known him two months, any and all talk of living together is itself a moot point

Well, you know what chefs say about a watched pot...

it's safe from burglary?

it produces dank shit?

not to totally stomp all over the domestic happiness of the thread, but how many near-breakup arguments/dicussions/tearfests can one have in a six-day span before an insistence on both of your parts that you don't actually want to break up becomes kind of futile?

because we're at three. sigh.

and if that's not too many, does anyone have advice on the appropriate balance between recognizing that someone you care about is going through a rough patch and supporting them vs. ignoring your own needs, emotional and otherwise? is letting inconsiderate behaviour etc. fly because of context acceptable?

i feel like we're past the worst of it - the epicentre was saturday night, when he did something that really upset me, which he hasn't fully acknowledged as wrong - but four days out, we're still having these mini get-our-backs-up bickerings that are tricky to de-escalate. at this point, i just feel exhausted. i want to be happy and with him, and i want him to be happy, but he's not? and his unhappiness has to do with a lot of other things, many of which he's started to really address/change/etc. and he's been visibly feeling a lot better this week, but the good mood of new friends/new things/job applications/etc. turns into interspersed contentment/frustration/moodiness at the end of the day when i show up, and i want to ride it out, but i don't want it to be the new normal. and i don't want to be bringing him down. \(o0)/

plus, no matter how often he insists it isn't the case, it's really striking when your bf had the most incredible day until seeing you, at which point every other sentence becomes a potential source of tension/misinterpretation/etc.

also, i got a rejection letter re: second round interviews from one of the three jobs i did first-round interviews for two weeks ago. and after finally doing laundry at the boy's place last night, i was walking twenty minutes back to my place with it and it started raining.

it's that sort of day.

Oh jeez I want to come to MTL w some cookies and give you a hug

i mean - maybe we will be ok?

I do hope ao