Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

"are you busy?"

"no i'm a gigantic slob who does nothing all day and gets paid for it"

"yes, too much to listen to whatever it is you have to say, ta ta! oh, you're my boss"

"whatever i say, i know i'm going to have to do whatever it is you're about to dump on me so why don't you SKIP this question - though i know it will be hard for you as it appears to constitute the ENTIRETY of your ideas about managing people's time and workload"

i've been told i need to come in to the office to cover the phones from 6pm tonight to 9am tomorrow morning, because the magic work-from-home thingie is down.

that's a 15-hr shift. overnight. in an office with no beds. during the biggest snowstorm in two decades.

when i suggested possibly sharing this shift with someone else i was told that it's my responsibility cause i'm the one on call, and it is my "duty" to do it.

^ fuck *that* noise. I assume you've made suitable complaining noises in the right direction?

Also: did you actually do it, then?

will:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-cat-talk-to-the-hand.jpg

A co-worker, who is typically not stupid nor annoying, has been working on a huge interior finishes project for the last couple of weeks. She has decided that the best place to store all the sample boards and carpet samples is on the floor adjacent to her desk and the entire floor surrounding it. So every time I have to get up from my desk, I have to watch my step and constantly step over or around shit on the floor. Very annoying.

what is the protocol for retrieving print jobs? whenever i print something out, i always go over to the printer to grab it, pretty much right away. this new co-worker always leaves print jobs on the printer, sometimes for a day or two. every time i grab a print job of mine, i have to flip through this person's stuff--and it's not always work related stuff she's printing out, either. i feel like i'm being an ass for complaining but at the same time i don't eat doritos for breakfast do i?

Write "SEE ME @ 4:30" on them in red Sharpie in the boss's handwriting.

Eh, I leave stuff sitting. I can't be bothered to get up every time I send a purchase order. But when I pass the printer I grab my stuff AND my colleague's and drop hers off at her desk.

i did that for the first few weeks but i'm a little sick of it. i am not this person's maid.

I do it as a politeness, and she picks up mine too. Not a big deal to me.

If it bothers you, just start making her stuff into a pile and at some pre-determined time the next day, if she hasn't picked it up, just throw the whole thing away. When she looks for it, apologize really nicely but you had no idea it was hers....

I'm sure I annoyed the entire office the past few months with all the hardware traffic that's been going in and out: 60-some server-sized boxes. Plus tons of trash (cardboard boxes) for the few that are staying.

The woman I'm taking over from just gave a presentation to a ton of people I'll be working with and made no reference at all to leaving or that I would be taking over. I was in the audience.

I was too lazy to pick up my print job, and then another woman apparently made off with my job and another colleagues.

Gotta watch my back at this new job. Too bad I can't print out with indemnity a 60-pg Comic Con schedule anymore (used to have my 'own' printer).

Thought that said 60-pg Comic Sans for a mo. That would have been hella stupid and annoying.

OMFG CAN YOU JUST SAY WTF YOU NEED FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE INSTEAD OF ASKING ME TO REVISE 1500 TIMES WHEN WE ARE IN TIME CRUNCH AND I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND!?

what is the protocol for retrieving print jobs? whenever i print something out, i always go over to the printer to grab it, pretty much right away. this new co-worker always leaves print jobs on the printer, sometimes for a day or two. every time i grab a print job of mine, i have to flip through this person's stuff--and it's not always work related stuff she's printing out, either. i feel like i'm being an ass for complaining but at the same time i don't eat doritos for breakfast do i?

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, February 3, 2009 9:00 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark

Here is the magic ratio I've discovered: the amount of printing an employee does is generally inversely proportional to his or her intelligence and the quality of his or her work. (Obviously this does not apply if you actually work in a printshop.)

how about the fact that same bitchy coworker i just went off about emails me things to print. it takes longer to email me the doc than it does to hit the print button.

There's a bin next to the printer for unretrieved jobs. It seems to work pretty well. It's also next to the recycle tub, which also works pretty well.

Can you please get our printer fixed today? something went wrong over the weekend and I can’t get it to work.

Thank you!

it was a paper jam. you take out the jammed paper. AMAZING!

At my old job, we actually had a policy (for about a week) that you were supposed to print out an e-mail to a coworker that you were sending to them and leave the paper copy in their mailbox as well.

Someone didn't get an email one time or it was delayed or it went to their spam folder and THAT ^^ happened.

where I work now no one prints anything: even faxes come in digitally, are pdf'd and stored. I feel guilty when I print one page of something personal cos we pretty much never do. Closest to actual "paperless office" ive ever been.

I routinely print out long articles from the New York Review of Books o_O

and when i get home i put the paper upside down in the paper tray of my own printer

*UPDATE*

lol when when i'm gchattin' with my gf I'll have her call me on my office line when the annoying talker makes her daily drop-ins. If only she were a flagrant bitch or in no way integral to me getting my job done I'm pretty sure I could tell her to shove off.

I also made my office line #1 on my blackberry speed-dial. I'm such a pussy.

i print a lot of stuff from school. i also steal all the wasted paper to print things on the other side at home because i'm cheap and i don't want to buy paper.

tracer - what happened with your 15 hour red-eye shift?!

I routinely print out long articles from the New York Review of Books o_O

...

and when i get home i put the paper upside down in the paper tray of my own printer

This is the way to live.

i ended up not having to do it - the work-from-home-thingie magically came back just minutes before a taxi was due to arrive at my house and take me on on a 1.5 hr drive to west london

however the 20-minute phone fight i had with the acting boss of my dept. is irretrievable and either today or tomorrow i am going to have to speak to this tightass about it and probably apologize because he's so wound up he will never mention it and it will simmer forever inside him

Arggghhh people trying to manage projects which aren't theirs because they resent someone else being put on it, picking up on every little mistake going OH GOD I KNEW THAT WOMAN WOULD GET IT ALL WRONG and busybodying the subordinates on the project (i.e. me) to see what I've done yet (nothing on the next phase because the person actually in charge told me not to yet - HAVEN'T YOU EVEN DONE THAT YET WHAT IS THAT WOMAN THINKING), rearranging our meeting times so she can come when she wasn't invited, declaring that everyone else on the project who is massively confused because we keep being told different things (partly because the management change their mind every 5 minutes and partly because she keeps appearing and contradicting everything) is just being, like, feebleminded and/or stubborn, THEY SHOULD KNOW EVERYTHING I JUST SAID IS THE ONE TRUE WAY ALREADY AND STOP COMPLAINING

(also I'm going on a week's leave tomorrow and everyone else is cool with that except the busybodying woman has just remembered everything I was ever meant to do but had to drop because some other urgent project appeared out of nowhere and wants it all before I go away, and admittedly this is only a problem because I'M the stupid and annoying coworker, but, jesus, get me out of here. meanwhile I made a fuckup of something she didn't even ask for which I wanted to get done before going and that'll need some careful checking to put back together. aargh)

sorry guys, rant over. maybe i can tread water until the end of today and then i get a week to daydream of never coming back

should probably not have lingered in front of the xpostometer with the words "stupid, annoying co-workers" on my screen at like 40 points but hey, screw you guys

My coworker who can and will talk about how much he hates DRM for hours is right in the middle of what's probably a 1/2-day long anti-DRM jag.

MORE ENGINEERING LESS SNORTY LAUGHING

Jesus Christ, M4rk Phi11p5, you have to be the most, to quote Luanne van Hauten, the most incompetent and managerially impotent person alive. How you ever got to be in charge of anything (especially people more educated, and certainly smarter than you) is amazing. You've lost our respect, and trying to be an asshole to everyone to cover up your own unacceptable failures, and being a total hypocrite is just making you a bigger asshole than you are. And your macho, misogynistic attitude doesn't help either.

Fuck you, you piece of shit.

Dear colleague who does what I do in a very closely related organisation

Stop sending snarky emails to colleagues in a third very closely related organisation and copying them to everyone. I don't think you mean to be snarky, and she occasionally deserves it, but it takes time and energy to work out a reply that defuses the situation.

Your colleague who does what you do in a closely related organisation

girl: loses something
girl to me: can you call finance and tell them you lost xyz and ask for another copy?

why am i your bitch???

Wow. Please say you told her to stick xyz sideways!

i just kind of hit my internal killifile button because i'm pretty sure after she leaves for vacation i can find it and avoid all this dramas but USADL:GKJS.

Arrgh. Just arrgh.

Oh fuck you, you sales asshole, its not MY FAULT we have a pricebook with an error in it so your quote to Big Client is somewhat wrong. You and management set the pricing. NOT ME!

So it is not my issue to fucking go and sort it out, so dont throw hissyfits in my direction!!&*!^!$%!#!

*tears hair*

Aformentioned asshole also happened to not pay me for the first half of February; likely there will be a long, tedious, and stressful bureaucratic process ahead of me, like those other people who are still missing pay from December. Here's to your being fired!

*Purple Rain comes on radio*

Co-worker: Oh, I LOVED Oprah in this movie!
Me: o_O

Same woman couldn't wait to go to Hawaii for vacation to see the hunchback whales.

lol at this very moment, four feet away, my acting boss is answering questions from our brand new CEO who is asking simple, basic questions about what we do and he is DYING ON HIS FEET

the problem is that this will just make him less confident and he will now be more bullying and weird and passive-aggressive than ever

It always amazes me how some people seem to get into higher up roles by the skin of their teeth and you wonder how they hold a job when they're as dense as dark matter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilbert_Principle