vadge horror stories

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I would like to hear some penii horror stories.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Monday, 16 May 2005 16:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"I said al dente!"

― The Ghost of Fun With Homophones (Dan Perry), Monday, 16 May 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago) link

four months pass...

The spirit has been revived elsewhere. But the original should not be forgotten.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Twat neglect has come to this,
Now it hurts when you go piss —
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link

He smacked it up, flipped it,
And rubbed it down -
So don't be cruel,
Ms. Bobby Brown!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:41 (eighteen years ago) link

You just made all of my teeth fall out.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:43 (eighteen years ago) link

*hack*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't look now,
But something lurky
Within your rancid
Green beef jerky!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Sorry, that Whitney Houston story from popbitch is probably the funniest thing I've read this week.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Do you DRINK gravy? Is that gross?

― The Ghost of (sorry) (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:14 (eighteen years ago) link

four months pass...

http://thewvsr.com/lysol.jpg

LYSOL DOUCHE~!

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:33 (eighteen years ago) link

safeguard your dainty feminine allure

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:34 (eighteen years ago) link

God, I feel like I am in an ILX version of A Christmas Carol today.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:36 (eighteen years ago) link

first thought = grrr that shd be "doubts OWING to" = time for a new dayjob
second thought = pah funnier wd be "1 x intimate neglect" = TIME FOR A NEW DAYJOB

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:45 (eighteen years ago) link

It's so nice to see the ad restored to its rightful place.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, most men prefer a totally dry vagina.

― Dan (Friction Burn = SEXXXY) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 February 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

It's a fine line between love and grate.

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:00 (eighteen years ago) link

There once was a woman called Alice
Who used dynamite in place of a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And parts of her anus in Dallas

― john clarkson, Friday, 24 February 2006 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

as good as this thread was, it never quite rose to the level of sheer wtfness of its opening post

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

wtf this actually existed?????????

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

From a '30s magazine's classifieds I have an ad for what can only be described as an antiquated prostate massager. Fabulously, the orders were to be sent to South Bend, Indiana.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 24 February 2006 21:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Hoosier pride baby

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:23 (eighteen years ago) link

antiquated prostates need all the help they can get.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 24 February 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Accidental
Amphimixis?
Now you can
Avoid that crisis!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Don't worry:
We told Bill O'Reilly
It's not really
Infanticidey!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Couldn't stop
Your penile throbbing?
There's a way
To stop her sobbing!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:38 (eighteen years ago) link

"How did I
Shot sperm in pussy?"
Spiderman
Now needn't worry!
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 25 February 2006 17:38 (eighteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

I dreamt I had a blind date, with spoilers
900 miles in diapers and rejected screen names
What did you eat today? Because the other one
was getting unwieldy, free smells:
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 00:25 (seventeen years ago) link

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r76/lucy2lola/giner.jpg

― lil' latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

holy crap, my wife wants that as a t-shirt

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:15 (seventeen years ago) link

crosspost

vadgetarian?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:28 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know what surprises me more -- that outbreaks of the thread still recur two and a half years later, or that no one's linked it to the fleshlight thread.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 02:37 (seventeen years ago) link

I was directed here by a fellow ILXor, presumably to share with you that this weekend--after, and perhaps as a result of the Bears' defeat in the Superbowl--I, a 31 year old GWM, had my first face-to-face with a vadge. It was ridiculous. The encounter, and the vadge.

― I do have a surname, but it's silent. (unclejessjess), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 23:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Sudden in a shaft of sunlight
Even while the dust moves
There rises the hidden laughter
Of children in the foliage
Quick now, here, now, always—
Ridiculous the waste sad vadge
Stretching before and after
Lol pwnt.

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:23 (seventeen years ago) link

jess do tell

― Charmmy Kitty's Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (ex machina), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm hoping this involves an actual vagina face.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Like the frat boys are known for saying, "I was drunk" or maybe "I was just experimenting."

― I do have a surname, but it's silent. (unclejessjess), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:43 (seventeen years ago) link

face-to-face?

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm hoping this involves an actual vagina face.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/vadgehorrorstory.jpg

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 8 February 2007 00:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe hoping isn't quite right.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:00 (seventeen years ago) link

girl's got some trippy pubes.

― jambalaya backgammon (grady), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Bob's Big Boy or a sleeping Elvis impersonator? hmm...

― Tuesdays With Morimoto (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:06 (seventeen years ago) link

jess did you DO IT with the vagina???

― grbchv! (skowly), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:08 (seventeen years ago) link

scg's story still sort of wins everything on this thread

xpost sounds like it was more of a vadge meet-n-greet

― Elsa Svitborg (tracerhand), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Miami style.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:16 (seventeen years ago) link

why don't I get invited to those

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:17 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.aliviastoys.com/mylittlepony/blueseapony.jpg
Face to face
http://www.aliviastoys.com/mylittlepony/pinkseapony.jpg
No telling lies

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 8 February 2007 01:31 (seventeen years ago) link

David R you motherfucker

― Elsa Svitborg (tracerhand), Thursday, 8 February 2007 02:27 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Guy won't sup that
Tuna colada?
Ordinary douches,
Must try harder.
Scrape those barnacles
Fizzle that phlegm
'Cos yours ain't no cave
Of hidden gems
...LYSOL DOUCHE

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Scarlett was a-bangin' in the Civil War
But she had cling-ons, "just like paw"
Due to the times, she tried a gherkin
But as Mammy worked out, "it just ain't workin"
Rhett, damnless, left in furiosity
He could no longer cope with vadge viscosity!
.... LYSOL DOUCHE!

― JTS, Monday, 26 February 2007 20:20 (seventeen years ago) link

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