Starbucks: The Empire Strikes Back

After considerable research into the financial and ideological background of the Starbucks Corporation, we have decided to withdraw our demand that products of the Starbucks franchise should cease to be sold on campus. Despite our misgivings about Howard Schultz the C.E.O. of Starbucks, we feel that there is insufficient evidence that the company is involved in financing the Israeli military.
We therefore replace the demand with the aforementioned condemnation of the BBC. We believe that this is a much more pertinent issue for the people of Gaza, as well as the College.

loooool

This new instant coffee thing -- do they really want us not to patronize their stores? Is it like selling Netflix subscriptions at a movie theater?

i know it's ILE, but i am consistently amused by the music channel of starbucks. i've been treated to some of the best of dub-reggae for the past hour or so. a little disconcerting, but also awesome.

and just fyi, i'm waiting on someone for lunch and needed to use the internet-- haven't been in one of these since may. i don't even know where they exist in SF? tourist places, probs.

is their internet free now?

they are on every single corner of every block of the financial district in SF

I'm pretty sure I saw one starbucks that claimed to have free wifi. before it was only for t-mobile customers. I don't know a single person who has t-mobile.

You know me! I have T-Mobile!

ritual roasters on valencia has free wifi and hipsters

Seems to be coming to Belgium. Urgh

i don't even know where they exist in SF?

???? crazy talk

they are on every single corner of every block of the financial district in SF

not an exaggeration

does anyone remember the stealth Starbucks at 18th? and Bryant ... it was called something like "circadia" and then it showed its true identity?

http://money.msn.com/investment-advice/now.aspx?post=d42eccbf-d572-4513-9656-a28ce12e30a4>1=33002

So is this a real business?
Yes it is. Although we are a fully functioning coffee shop, for legal reasons Dumb Starbucks needs to be categorized as a work of parody art. So, in the eyes of the law, our "coffee shop" is actually an "art gallery" and the "coffee" you're buying is considered the art. But that's for our lawyers to worry about. All you need to do is enjoy our delicious coffee!

Are you saying Starbucks is dumb?
Not at all. In fact, we love Starbucks and look up to them as role models. Unfortunately, the only way to use their intellectual property under fair use is if we are making fun of them. So the word "dumb" comes out of necessity, not enmity.

Wow, this person is monumentally stupid.

Oh, I guess it was just some barista. Still, don't tell your baristas to say shit like that! "We're using fair use as an excuse" is not a very good way to set up your fair use defense.

I walked by this yesterday. Kinda funny, but only a little bit. Predictably the line was down the block, about a hundred people.

Yeah, can't say I think it's that funny. It's gonna get so shut down, and the people who did it are going to be out a lot of money.

The FAQ is hilarious, has to be a "Nathan For You" bit, as some have suspected.

aaaand confirmed as such.

In three days a Twitter feed for Dumb Starbucks has amassed over 8K followers. Even Universal got in on the mania on their Dumb & Dumber To Facebook page.

wow

oh, turns out this is something a friend of mine did -- haha

you're friends with nathan fielder?

no, but a friend of mine is apparently claiming credit?

makes sense.

I just threw away http://books.google.com/books/about/Pour_your_heart_into_it.html?id=V_MjPzynsRcC in honor of this mishap

Some great viral marketing from not-so-dumb Starbucks imo

Nah, I doubt this means much to Starbucks

I can't watch Nathan for You bc it makes me too uncomfortable but this is hilarious.

you're friends with nathan fielder?

hes a huge asshole fwiw

There seems something endemic to LA that things like this instantly attract huge lines. I can't imagine that kind of reaction in NYC for instance.

http://splitsider.com/2014/02/nathan-fielder-reveals-himself-as-the-mastermind-behind-dumb-starbucks/#more-48423

Thankfully, in the press conference Fielder said he plans to open a Dumb Starbucks in Brooklyn in the coming weeks, so east coast lovers of parody coffee shops will get their chance to wait in line for four hours for a free cup of dumb coffee too.

^but that'll provoke a different reaction, now that everyone knows what's going on.

will still be interesting to see what type of reaction he gets.

No it won't.

dumb cronuts

Cronuts craze was different though since the payoff to waiting in the cronut line was a cronut whereas the payoff to waiting in the Dumb Starbucks line is, what exactly? Something much more conceptual.

i thought you got a cronut once you got to the front of the cronut line

oh wait nm i misread yr post

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/elements/2014/02/dumb-starbucks-and-the-art-of-the-hoax.html

marc horowitz is a genius. the next shia labeouf.

you're friends with nathan fielder?

hes a huge asshole fwiw

― Lamp, Tuesday, February 11, 2014 4:20 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Care to expand on this?

sorry; expound

From britisher perspective shit coffee in greasy spoons = cheaper than shit coffee in starbucks

missed this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo_deCOd1HU

sarahel is Marc Horowitz your friend

the heart of the joke seems to be a very deadpan take on what a "parody" is

nathan knows it's not legal and will be shut down. in the show, he gives business owners terrible business ideas. the joke is that this is another terrible business idea.

Schultz has a shop in Rome now, which is the biggest asshole thing there ever was, if you think about it.

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) January 28, 2019

Coffee's better is Seattle, harsh truth

Possibly, but it's nice to be able to get an espresso for 1 euro on just about any street corner.