Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/01/28/article-1130015-0337DB90000005DC-374_468x532.jpg
England coach Fabio Capello checks out a new kind of strip on Italian TV

who's that being Obamafied in the background?

Looks like Gianlucca Vialli to me.

Remember that Hilaire Belloc cautionary tale - Matilda told such dreadful lies, it made one gasp and stretch one’s eyes? I used to love it as a child when telling lies was one of the naughtiest things you could do: Matilda ended up getting burned to death.

Good of the Daily Mail to include a clip from Skins, despite it not being mentioned anywhere in the article, for anyone wondering what 'teenage promiscuity' might look like, without having to search for it online themselves.

12-year-olds today have seen raunchier stuff on the internet today than most 40-year-olds have seen in their entire lives.

Chew on that for awhile. Your 12-year-old has seen "Two Girls, One Cup" - and that ain't getting erased.

Chew on 2G1C for a while

Pretty sure our boy hasn't seen 2 Girls, 1 Cup. He thought the posters for Sex Drive were too rude to be on the side of a bus.

Prudle Vague Jr. more like

Shameful Lawless Internet is full of raunchy XXX rated child-endangering pictures like these: (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic) (pic)

First 12 comments all from the US there.

If morality is subjective then why not live it up? If God is dead all things are lawful. If there is no God why not let sex be your god and use as many other humans as possible to fulfill ones personal pleasures. Darwin taught us the survival of the fittest right?

Workplace harrassment: 12 women's sizzling hot tales!

too shit; didn't read

You were right not to do so.
DM comments always full of Americans and ex-pats.

It turns out that it was the Walkman that has broken Britain, according to not-at-all-crazy AN Wilson.

Exposing your ear drums to badly mixed rock music

Scik Mouthy?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1183011/AMANDA-PLATELL-Insults-betray-bigotry-gay-zealots.html

I really don't want to look at the comments section there, but it's so tempting. Can someone confirm that it's as bad as you'd imagine? (Poor little girl, staring wistfully into the distance, wishing for a real mummy and daddy.)

The gay rights lobby should remember that not everyone who opposes gay adoption is a narrow-minded redneck

Pictures or it didn't happen

adam and eve not adam and steve

The plugs that go into the ears are a wonderful source of bacteria so unless they are sterilised before each use they are a germ playground.

I really don't want to look at the comments section there, but it's so tempting. Can someone confirm that it's as bad as you'd imagine? (

First comment.

don't know the research and I am not homophobic but it is only common sense that tells me children must surely have a better chance in life with a married heterosexual couple and that is who they should be put with.

- Expat Andi, Dubai UAE,

http://blogs.theage.com.au/lifestyle/trashtalk//archives/_peter_andre_jordan_wedding.jpg

A heterosexual couple yesterday.

Hang on, this bunch would have been a better example...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/shanfamilyDM1403_468x325.jpg

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_02/MccannsPA_468x293.jpg

don't know the research and I am not homophobic but it is only common sense that tells me children must surely have a better chance in life with a married heterosexual couple and that is who they should be put with.

- Expat Andi, Dubai UAE,

That's got to be a full house on DM reader bingo.

Nah, doesn't mention house prices or Gordon Brown. Still, not far off.

BTW, this line in the Wislon piece cracked me up:

By the time they are 35, this generation will have experienced serious hearing loss. Of that, medical research is in no doubt whatsoever

Such meaningless nonsense, on so many levels. You've almost got to admire it.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/shanfamilyDM1403_468x325.jpg

wow the Manics really let themselves go

"libraries bring us power"

Much as AN Wilson lurches inevitably into egregious excess and shrieking hysteria, the following, early, and crucially understated, paragraph is OTM:

For those of us who liked getting on a bus or a train and overhearing, or even taking part in, conversations, there is something a bit bleak about the dozens of private solitudes which nowadays clamber aboard.

...so much so, that my entry into the ILX poetry competition is basically about this very trend.

every time i'm on public transport and have to talk to a stranger it's inevitably a drug addict or someone just out of jail who wants me to give them a pound and has some sob story about having to go somewhere to beat up their father/girlfriend/big brother or whatever so i say bring on more people minding their own fucking business.

*lazy scotland zing*

One of my friends once overheard a murder being planned on a bus and phoned the police when he got off. The guys were going up to an acquaintances flat to stab him and rob his house.

he told them where they were getting off and what they looked like, but he never found out what happened.

Yikes. And who is that stupid to say what they're doing out loud on a bus!?

Scottish drug addicts.

i think danny boyle should turn that scenario into a movie, what fun we could all have

Prince Philip climbs over a short fence.

Prince Philip re-inacting a scene from Animal House
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/05/15/article-1182971-04F54F02000005DC-637_468x356.jpg

reEnacting - d'oh...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1200037/Benefits-cheat-claimed-3-500-look-like-DEVIL.html

Words fail me.

The divorced father-of-two

it's one of the strengths of the mail that they *always* get all these details. should really have asked what his kids think of the changes though.

the mail's gallery of "abbey road"-inspired record covers includes "split with methadone abortion clinic" by screaming afterbirth. wonder if paul dacre is a fan.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1203117/The-Abbey-Habit-How-Beatles-famous-album-cover-inspired-dozens-imitations.html

Too bad that guy can't go out at night, cos there's no way you'd want to leave the house in daylight looking like that.

what a shoddy piece of work... mispellings abound, and several sleeves are repeated.

Oops, my comment was directed at Matt's story, didn't see it was 2 weeks old.

The Independent ran an identical Abbey Road feature 4 days ago: Abbey Road: 40 Years - 40 Imitations

Haven't checked properly, but I think they are basically all the same albums, but just in a different order.

Still agawp at the lucifer bloke though.

I'm happy for people to embezzle welfare money if they are going to use it for crazy shit like that.

Marc Riley's lost his mind!

Is he standing as a Labour candidate at the next election?

- Gary, Marbella, 16/7/2009 12:03

BAM