Craigslist hilarity

I don't get it... He thinks they could be friends, because they bot have... grey cars?

Turns out you get it

Apparently in the year 2216 this is how people decide who to be friends with

Well, it seems like the victim has a grey Dodge Stratus. The post's author may have a grey Chrysler Cirrus or Plymouth Breeze, cars built on the same platform but under different Chrysler different brands.

oh ffs, "victim"

lol

May be truer than you know. There's a kind of "One Hour Photo" vibe along with the hilarity/poignancy.

http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/sub/3316315446.html

So apparently I could see Radiohead tonight and end my sex drought all in one go?

http://www.gumtree.com/p/for-sale/2-x-seated-radiohead-tickets--o2-london--tuesday-9th-october--terms-apply-see-description/1001601899

(I dunno... why is this scenario so... oddly unappealing?)

"has been fornicated"

'sex after concert encouraged' -- not necessarily with him? :/

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/pet/3328812548.html

My name is Melissa and I am a interspecies telepathic animal communicator.
Telepathy is a three way conversation between myself, you and your animal friend. The only information I need to get a connection with your pet is a picture and their name so that I know who I am speaking with. Through this subtle communication questions can be answered and harmony restored in your life journey with your animal friend. Telepathy can bennefit in many situations like being able to communicate with animals who have passed on. Telepathy can be used as another tool under your belt for training issues by finding out why our pet is being resistant wether it is a pain issue or your animal friend is mis understanding what you are asking of them . but please keep in mind that Telepathy is not a cure all or Quick Fix for training it's self you still must apply proper training with your pet.
Also in some situations when a pet has become lost, or left home for any reason through telepathy they can show me images of land marks they see around them or things they may have passed by that you may recognise to be able to find them or guide them home again. But please keep in mind that I am not a GPS so I do not receive address's or street names..

If this lady is able to make money with this I might try to be an interspecies telepathic animal communicator on craigslist as well.

But please keep in mind that I am not a GPS

good to know

This is a very long and sad novel:

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/3439833011.html

it's like a garage sale with inflated prices

ugh, yeah, keep dreaming guys

this is probably the best:

39. Radiohead Rainbows CD $10 (originally $25)

The poster is not only selling the entire contents of her house but also her identity

otm

damp towel, used

Room Available for Renting (Bed-Stuy)

Date: 2012-12-20, 1:20PM EST
Reply to this post supersta✧✧✧@metro✧✧✧.blackbe✧✧✧.c✧✧[?]
Wasssup how yall doing
You got a cool down to earth dude
Here from Bed-stuy Brooklyn
Looking for anybody that need to rent
A room for a few hours are you
Tired of having to do it in cars
Or having to keep going to
Travel to your dates well no need
To have to do that any more
I have a room available for more
Info hit me up ASAP the last room
I had up for available went in
One day so don't miss out
420 friendly serious reply's only thank you
(number redcated) call or text for more info

redacted, even

sung to the tune of 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air'

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/mis/3499778236.html

--
seattle craigslist > seattle > personals > missed connections

I asked your friend (who doesn't speak English) if he's on steroids - m4m - 32 (LAF ballard)
He called on you to translate what I was asking. If he's into guys, please let him know that i'm interested.

Location: LAF ballard
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
--

missed connections, man

lol

Somehow, I doubt this is the first time the "100% Perfect Girl" Murakami story has been posted on CL.

http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/mis/3507956645.html

This one makes me kind of sad

Silver Bear where you got? - m4m - 35 (The woodlands/Conroe)

Date: 2012-12-22, 7:23PM CST
Reply to this post fsps2-3448438✧✧✧@p✧✧✧.craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
We just to get together here at my house in the woodlands
I lost contact with you
You are silver bear cute married
You live on Conroe
I remember you say in Christmas you put a lot Christmas tree at you house
Me Spanish guy in the woodlands work in a restaurant
I want hear from you because we just to have great time together
Location: The woodlands/Conroe
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

aw

yeah that's really touching

sounds hot

Hello singers....acoustic guitar player looking to musically mix it up with an Asain female singer that writes lyrics and melodies...

I desire only to collaborate on originals, not covers....I feel that what I have to offer as a musician is unique and original....

My music is more Lydian, Ethereal and a little out of this world....I play with alternative tunings also and tune to a different
frequency than A=440, which is A=432hz....this is a whole new musical experience for the right person....

Blessed be......

Besides the other weirdnesses here, what would be the point of tuning to 432?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pythagorean_tuning

oh dude, google 432 hz tuning...you're in for a conspiracy theory treat.
Go. I'll wait right here.

Tempering music is a bit off, I think. It seems Hz is more the key here. The Beatles played their music in 432 Hz, John Lenon died young. The Doors, Elvis and some other musicians all died mysteriously at 27 yrs old, all using 432 Hz tuning.

It seems they could tune their guitars to 432 Hz. I found some examples of this on u-tube also. I don't understand it to mean designing new instruments.

Jim Hendricks was another musician who died at 27. There are quite a few of them, all using 432 Hz.

What is this even

Of all the conspiracy theories out there this one might be the most confusing AND amusing to me

How have I never heard of this before? Schooled by a Craigslist nut. This site, wau:

http://www.432hertz.com/index.html

it's like the fuckin timecube of music

What a blow to the Doors for them to all die at 27. Hopefully they were a bit staggered in age.

http://images.craigslist.org/3Ld3F73M25I35Ee5M2d1v62b9d3bcab821357.jpg

PARTY ORGY IN A BUS (Clintonville)

18+, STD FREE, AND LOOKING TO HAVE FUN? WELL THIS IS YOUR CHANCE FOR THE PARTY OF A LIFETIME. AN ORGY WITH OVER 50+ WOMAN AND MEN INSIDE A PARTY BUS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ARRIVE AT THE PICKUP LOCATION BEFORE THE PARTY BUS LEAVES PICK UP TIME IS 11:10 INFRONT OF 38 EAST KELSO 43214 CLINTONVILLE ROOM FOR 100 MORE PEOPLE BE THERE FOR THE PARTY OF A LIFE TIME

BUS RIDE IS AN HOUR LONG AND WILL EVENTUALLY ARRIVE AT A DOWNTOWN COLUMBUS CLUB
TO GET A RIDE BACK FROM THE PICKUP LOCATION YOULL HAVE TO WAIT TILL 2:30 AM
THIS IS ALL NSA!!!

loool 50+ woman

boomin granny

1 hr for an orgy?

someone might wanna rehost that image for posterity

"Hilarity" might be overstating, I see this stuff a lot, but "to do personal promblems" cracked me up. Also, invest in a period or two.

we need a full time road musican that can play brent mason stlye guitar picken can also sing lead and backup can play 70-80 funk motown classic and sothern rock that want to play on the road out west and also some weekends also fairs and festavals we need to replace our guitar player as soon as possible to do personal promblems we are not a start up band also have full time sound tech get a hold of me and i will fill in the details thanks alot

... he typed as he literally ran out the door.

haha yes

the bus is coming up the hill and the poster's all 'oh shit oh shit wait i'll just finish this oh crap the bus is here wait wait just typing almost finished there we go can i have a return ticket to ihop please'

guitar player standing right behind me oh shit shit shit he's walking towards me *submit*

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/muc/3632672236.html

2 fem singers sought 4 orig pop rk band. One , background & 1 supporting vocalist . We intend to do 1 show per mo. in NYC. We rehearse 1 x per mo studio & 1 x in an apt.(brooklyn) Supp. singer must be theatrical / campy. We will be getting tv coverage & shooting a video in the springtime. This project will req. very little practice . Depending on you. We are looking for entertaing , energetic & eager . To be part of a team. We need you do learn a 7 song set. 40 mins. Eventually we will get some of your material out there. ****WE SEND THIS TO EVRYONE WE CONTENPLATE DOING BIZ WITH. . Dear Interested party, Some people are dreamers, some are scheamers. Most are wannabees , poseres or pretenders. Most people look back at their lives & think to themselves , ” what happenened to my goals & dreams. They make excuses to themselves. Dismissing their failed dreams to others , that have done them wrong. They blame timing , lack of funds & even their significant others. Please note the three golden rules as to how we treat (supposedly) interested people. 1. Never give the new prospect more time or interest , than they show you , themselves , or your project. Especially in the beginning , at the time when they generally put their best foot forward. 2. Though this is not our original saying , but here goes. “You never get a second chance , to make a first impression.” 3. Last but not least , a quote from the great actor Rod Steiger. “Everybody wants to be famous , but do you have the need to be famous.” After all this is show business folks. So lets all avoid the posers , pretenders and the dilsilusionalists. It saves the genuine people a lot of time , effort , frustration & heartbreak. Thanks for your time, in sharing our shows thoughts with you

IRL LOL at So lets all avoid the posers , pretenders and the dilsilusionalists

Band ads are their own special circle of hilarity on CL anyway. Was thinking of starting a Tumblr just to highlight particularly tragic ones.

e.g.

I am a rapper looking to start a band. Not just any band. One that will create a type of music never heard before. I want to make something completely original with real instruments. Think Pink Floyd meets Kid Cudi meets The Beatles meets Eminem. If anybody out there is interested in doing something like that, please contact me asap and we can get this moving along. Thank you!

Or this:

National hard rock act looking to expand their lineup. Some info on the band....

- Worldwide record deal
- Currently booked for several of the largest U.S. music festivals
- Has performed/toured with many major artists
- Preparing to record a new album

Mainly interested in main rhythm instruments right now, but will audition rhythm guitar or keyboards.

You must:

- Have at least medium-length hair
- Dress like a rockstar
- Have professional gear. Guitars, amplifiers, cymbals...must be pro-grade, pro-size and can be heard over a strong vocalist and lead guitarist.
- Be age 20-30
- Have a car and driver's license
- Be able to support yourself financially
- Want to make this the biggest band in the world

If you do not meet all of the above criteria, do not reply. All emails will be responded to.

This would be a successful tumblr, IMO, especially if the ads were overlaid on comically mismatched photos (perhaps taken from the personals ads).