"Is this the A or the C?"
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Monday, 24 September 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link
"So, I've decided to take my flock back underground... to stop it falling into the wrong hands."
― ledge, Monday, 24 September 2012 15:28 (eleven years ago) link
"You won't find a fresher gyro anywhere"
― syntax evasion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 September 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
"The common behavior of mankind is the system of reference by means of which we interpret an unknown language."
― Hadrian VIII, Monday, 24 September 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
"No, I'm not 'the guy from that reality show'"
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Monday, 24 September 2012 15:32 (eleven years ago) link
"Fuckin' Ikea sweaters"
― syntax evasion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 September 2012 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
"sheep ! sheep ! aaiaaigrgh!!"
― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 24 September 2012 15:37 (eleven years ago) link
^lollll
― Hadrian VIII, Monday, 24 September 2012 15:38 (eleven years ago) link
guttural effects in general are good
― Hadrian VIII, Monday, 24 September 2012 15:40 (eleven years ago) link
"Whoa, Nellie! Let the people off first!"
― Mark G, Monday, 24 September 2012 15:51 (eleven years ago) link
"These sheep all use Twitter- fuck me I'm old!"
― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Monday, 24 September 2012 19:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am but a poor shepard. I do not rob or steal."
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Monday, 24 September 2012 19:58 (eleven years ago) link
Or, "Wait til you hear their version of Guantanamera"
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Monday, 24 September 2012 19:59 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm not racist, but this place is starting to look like a zoo."
― Øystein, Monday, 24 September 2012 20:04 (eleven years ago) link
"Sorry, but sheep are bah-ed from this train"
― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Monday, 24 September 2012 20:10 (eleven years ago) link
"No, I do not fuck them."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 24 September 2012 20:10 (eleven years ago) link
"None of these sheep have a valid ticket - they're all turnstile jumpers!"
"Come and meetthose dancing sheep!On the avenueI'm taking you to...42nd Street"
― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Monday, 24 September 2012 20:12 (eleven years ago) link
The official entries:
"Come on! Do you have any idea how long it took to get through the turnstiles?""Sheep Meadow? No, we wanna see the 'Seinfeld' diner.""For your information, I have a client who has a lot of trouble sleeping."
I think we're done, here...
― Mark G, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:23 (eleven years ago) link
Although..
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/15/p465/121015_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:31 (eleven years ago) link
Ugh! At least a few of the ilx ideas were way better than those.
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:36 (eleven years ago) link
"it's a fuck-us group."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:55 (eleven years ago) link
"Why is your divorce taking so long?"
― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:57 (eleven years ago) link
"There are an awful lot of people working where we're trying to have sex."
― Tom Hardy & the Batbreakers (Phil D.), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:59 (eleven years ago) link
"i said cock-us, not caucus!!!!!"
― congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:03 (eleven years ago) link
"this is quite an elaborate proposal!!!"
― ticks up my sleeve (brownie), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:25 (eleven years ago) link
This isn't the hot-desking i imagined. PS why is the bed so huge.
― ledge, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:33 (eleven years ago) link
I know we're naked in bed together but could you stop groping my left tit ok thx.
― ledge, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:34 (eleven years ago) link
"You sure managed to invite a bunch of stiffs to our orgy."
― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:38 (eleven years ago) link
"You've got to stop bringing your work home with you!! Get it??? LOL"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:39 (eleven years ago) link
"When I said we should work on our relationship this isn't what I had in mind!!!!!! LOL"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:41 (eleven years ago) link
"That's never happened to me before... but rest assured I have the best possible team working super hard on it right now"
― Superphysical Resurrection (NickB), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link
"According to that chart the 'poles' are 'down,' if you know what I mean."
― Tom Hardy & the Batbreakers (Phil D.), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 15:57 (eleven years ago) link
the "never happened" is pretty good.
― s.clover, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 17:41 (eleven years ago) link
"eHarmony is getting a bit creepy these days."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 18:07 (eleven years ago) link
"It's the economy, stupid."
― EVERYONE COOKING SCMABLED EGGS,CHEESE WITH TOASTER!! (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 18:10 (eleven years ago) link
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:55 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― obamana (abanana), Tuesday, October 9, 2012 10:57 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
lol
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 21:52 (eleven years ago) link
the shortlist:
Can't you just ignore the polls on this one and go with your instinct?""Let's face it. One side of the bed consistently outperforms the other.""Sometimes I wish you would keep your performance targets to yourself."
― Mark G, Monday, 29 October 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/10/29/p465/121029_contest_p465.jpg"This is normal..."
― Mark G, Monday, 29 October 2012 15:30 (eleven years ago) link
"Grill marks, you say?"
― seandalai lama (Leee), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 01:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Five to ten, but the judge was a client so I'm optimistic."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 01:57 (eleven years ago) link
with most of them it's straight in and 'gobble gobble gobble'
― but with socks instead of football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 02:04 (eleven years ago) link
"What's YOUR excuse?"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 02:07 (eleven years ago) link
something about tina brown/newsweek and avoiding the ax, but i don't have it in a one-liner
― abanana, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link
"Well I'm not covering up for you this time, your poor father still doesn't know that you voted for Christmas"
― but with socks instead of football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:49 (eleven years ago) link
ex+ winner..
― Mark G, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:53 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/11/12/p465/121112_contest_p465.jpg
"I'm not looking, but I think next-door are still dong their atomic bomb testing..."
― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 10:59 (eleven years ago) link
If you make the noose, I'll do the hoistin', honey
― Øystein, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 11:05 (eleven years ago) link
dog is quite clearly mid-defecation, feel like this needs to be acknowledged
― ut's nutta bull, ut's a *romanda* (darraghmac), Tuesday, 6 November 2012 11:08 (eleven years ago) link
OK,
"Your shit or mine?"
― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 November 2012 11:11 (eleven years ago) link