Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

See I can never quite tell if ppl from this thread disappear because they've met someone, or disappear because OKC has driven them to such depths of despair they want nothing more to do with dating, ever.

So I'm glad there's some of the former.

I suppose I should throw myself back into it when I get back from Orkney but I just don't want to. And this is the problem with Having A Crush, it kind of obliterates the desire to get out and meet anyone else, when really, meeting other people who are More Appropriate is exactly what I should be doing.

Thank you for the kind wishes, it went excellently well.

Not that I post here often enough to noticeably disappear, but considering that the last girl I made plans with cancelled on me, rescheduled, then cancelled a couple hours before we were supposed to meet up because she got asked out by someone else she had hit it off with, I'm closer to the latter, WCC. Anyway, I'm moving soon, and it's nice to have something else to focus on other than dating. Glad to hear things are working out for some people here though.

Flakey people suck. I'm sorry to hear that, Vinnie.

Just continually get the sense that people who are good at OKC are those people who are good at ~dating in IRL~ and I just don't have those kinds of skills or ability to roll with the flakiness.

If my experience is anything to go by, there is a muuuuch higher incidence of flakiness among OKC users these days than than there used to be. I have no idea what accounts for that, but it's supremely annoying. And I say that as someone who's a little flaky but at least makes some effort not to be.

Also, in reference to the previously-mentioned thing where a lot of women prefer not to date short(er) men, I just got a first message from someone who said she usually prefers taller men but that the humor in my profile makes up for that? Which seems somewhat equivalent to "too bad about your tiny boobs, but at least you have a good personality!"

so spunky

I prefer to treat those sort of comments as a gift of rare insight into how it feels to be on the receiving end of the sort of "compliments" that women receive on probably a daily basis.

^^^^^^^^^^^ ding ding ding

(This would probably the the wrong place to admit that I'm starting to develop a weird thing for men who are slightly shorter than me. I feel like I could dominate them or something. It would be fun. (It's similar to the thing for super-skinny, frail looking boys.) Also, Thom Yorke.)

I've noticed a certain type of person ("young NPR" people I guess?), both men and women, mentioning the Oxford comma a lot, in such a way that it seems like there was some big cultural reference to it that I missed. Did Demetri Martin mention it in a routine, or was it in a Mumford and Sons song or something?

Wasn't it Vampire Weekend?

(Also, Mansard Roofs.)

Ha, holy shit, I assumed you were joking about Vampire Weekend, but nope, there it is.

People who aren't down with the Oxford/serial comma are disgusting savages.

The pervasiveness of that as some weirdly hip new grammatical trend makes me roll my eyes barf and cry.

Flakiness is a big bummer and I get p mad at people who treat dates as disposable and break them on the day. Has happened to me with OKC twice, and both times I was actually quite mad and not that nice about it, which doubtless did not endear me to the dates in question but I hardly cared at that point.

FWIW, I had to cancel a second date the day of/the day before because I was suddenly floored by the flu. But I was emphatic about actually wanting a second date and rescheduled as soon as I was back on my feet. I've never cancelled a first date, though, and I'm pretty upfront about it if I don't see a second date in the cards.

Yeah, in my case, this was going to be the first date, and cancelling kind of puts a killer on any potential momentum there. Even before the second cancellation, I was already way less excited. I'm definitely more sympathetic to cancelling if the person tries to reschedule quickly though.

So just when I was whining about not getting replies the person I was hoping would write did. This is a magical thread.

Lesson learned: Whine more. Maybe something good will happen while you're distracted by your own suffering.

Working for me at the moment, anyway. Thanks, okc!

accidental OKC Texan arriving for visit tomorrow. 0_0

go texas!

coming up on four months w/the okc girl i talked about upthread. after some minor early bumps it turned into a really great relationship! i even took her home for labor day and she and my mom really dug each other. totally happy.

...and now i have to move to new york for work in a week

IDK about the music teacher guy. I had seen him 4x and we had a pregnancy scare kind of, I'm worried it scared him off. I have no idea how to date at all. I'll admit. We never really communicate in between dates. I may be playing it too cool. Or maybe not.

I really like this guy but I don't want to scare him off by asking about how much of a thing we are. I don't know if I want to know how much of a thing we are. I would like it to be an amount greater than zero, though. He lives an hour away in another town and only comes up on the weekend. He didn't last weekend and idk if he was too busy or just not interested. I really like this guy and if we never date again I'll feel pretty sad.

I'm just feeling lonely in general lately and this is an extra neurotic wrinkle of that.

Is it ok to ask 'are you busy or are you just not feeling it?' too desperate?

i dunno abbs, i am not expert in this field, but why don't you invite him to do something fun and specific (let's look at the stars and feed each other mystery foods, only not that) and see what he says?

haha done and done
all I can do in the face of romance is make and offer clear plans

and then not read too much into it when they are declined with a little frowny face emoticon :(

Oh no is that what happened? That... doesnt sound too promising :/

Everyone who OK Cupid suggests is an 'exceptionally good match' looks like this

http://ak2.okccdn.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/120x120/120x120/180x0/720x540/0/1548611224921148256.jpeg

maybe it's just this town

Dude looks like a pretty sensitive, caring wannabe thug tbh.

well I am sure many of them are wonderful bros but I just

have narrow-minded and judgmental aesthetics I guess
yucky me

Dating outside the pool of people that look like Breaking Bad extras is probably a good policy.

see that's like a huge portion of people here
it's the southwest you know
Stevie D observed when he visited here "the nu-metal look is still big here"

all I can do in the face of romance is make and offer clear plans

this

I've poked around in various geographical regions to see what my matches were like elsewhere. Things tend to get a little sketchier the further I get from the major urban areas but there are always a couple of cool people who often seem to be stranded for educational reasons (teaching or studenting). So I sympathize, Crabbs. I seem to get the most appealing matches in NYC (unsurprising as many of my friends and people I've long-term dated have been NYC expats) and Toronto and Louisville. Not so terribly much in Chicago, for some reason?

Sending a jokey followup to girl I saw last week, hoping it doesn't come off as desperate as I actually am.

... and just as I send it off, I get a completely random IM from someone across the country. O_o

They are showing Forbidden Zone at the local art house place, 35 ml print awright, and I invited some fresh new dude from this site along. He accepted, coffee beforehand, then movie. I think this is the most terrible first date idea I've ever concocted. OTOH the new dude is a 6'5" goth with the prose mannerisms of Loius Jagger so it might be...perfect.

35 ml you guys know what I mean

I told him it was a musical and he said he hates musicals so it should be...perfect. Maybe as good as the time I made a perverted middle aged man man watch Saddest Music In The World with me at an art house cinema in a different town?!?!

Tomorrow I am meeting up with someone I met IRL, a guy doing the same grad program I did last year, but I am not sure if it's a date or not. We agreed earlier in the week to meet at my favorite walking-distance beer/booze/burger joint, Bob Dobbs. However, last night I think I did an accidental dine and dash at Bob Dobbs. Also this guy has only seen me in my extremely neuter work clothes. Also also not sure if it's a date. That should be awesome too. I do like talking shop w/people from the new cohort of my grad school/cult so it should be fun as long as I'm not a burger thief!!

I really have no idea why anyone puts up with straight men.

crabbs, i hope you are not too concerned about what he will think of your bob dobbs bill dodger's clobber.

Dinner date in 4 hours. Shit. Dating is a lot easier before you start caring what happens.

The tall goth* and I are having dinner tonight. The disadvantage (one of many) to texting is you can't tell, pre-date, that someone is affecting an accent. 99% sure his is an affectation. He grew up in rural Tejas but sounds like Stewie x Stephen Fry with also the aural diction of a l0u1s jagg3r post?? How does that happen? OTOH he's physically kind of like every doodle of a dreamy guy I've ever draw.
*goth credential: call center manager

Dinners freak me out, I think--nothing else fully explains why I'm so edgy, have been all day. You have to sit and...look at each other, right in the eye, and talk in between chewing and swallowing without losing the thread and I don't know why this seems so complicated. Getting drunk in dim bars is something I understand. I don't feel at home having dinner.

Loosen up IO! Shake it off! It would be weird if you looked at him directly in the eyes for the entire meal, so forget about that. Eat whatever you want, talk about whatever you want, be yourself and don't front. What more is there to worry about?