Should I go fishing or get a friend to hang around? Celebrated GAY Summer 2012

I went on a non-date with someone today: it followed a bunch of friendly flirtless chat on Scruff, and it was supposed to be totally friendly and not-flirty bcz I really don't think imma be ready to date again soon, and that's exactly what it was and he's really cool and I made a new friend but I still felt :( when he casually mentioned his sorta-boyfriend. And now I feel crummo. Fuck.

Like I guess I actually want someone to be interested in me even though I don't want to date them? And it feels really selfish and needy wanting all this shit totally on my own terms, like trying to fill this still-newish hole even though I know it's unwise.

Like I thought trying to be social and hang out w ppl and make new friends would be good and helpful but I don't rly feel good atm, also old bf and I are seeing each other on fri for the first time in a month and now I am totally freaking out abt it and I am worried I'm going to lose it.

fill whatever holes you can

Stevie, it seems like you've got a lot resolve, making a clean break and not seeing him for that long. I'm proud of you.

Not related but sort of, I just saw the video for Call Your Girlfriend for the first time and omg.... it feels like someone is standing on my chest, it's so great.

we used to watch that all the time; there was a period where in our first week of dating I saw him perform the backwards somersault-floorhump-steamroller on three separate occasions and every time it would end w/ us in hysterics.

man I miss my bf also I am drunk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_EyZVeorhY

OOOOOHHH LOOK AT US WE ARE SO FUCKING DAPPER AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND STYLISH AND WE ARE GETTING MARRIED WAYY-OHHHH AREN'T WE JUST FUCKING PERFECT???

me IRL:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s5xsVHOJQs

oh brother

(that's at the first video, stevie)

aw man, i'm sorry

that's a good memory though

and a really fucking great bit of juxtaposition w/ the emotional song and her solemn face

xps

me IRL:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfnc55cHCN0

i got six seconds into that bowtie video

stevie i am sad that you are sad
<33333

remember kids, it's only acceptable to be gay as long as you're successful

Jeez guys.

wait, there are unsuccessful gays?

I was one but I think I finally got the hang of it.

i'm probably getting a double major in two humanities so i am an unsuccessful gay to-be

i just had a croissant!

i'm gay!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdbs3lKEeBE

wait, there are unsuccessful gays?

Tell me are you ready, really really ready for ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4JrVIpxqIE

i just had a croissant!

― surm, Thursday, September 20, 2012 8:57 AM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm gay!

― surm, Thursday, September 20, 2012 8:57 AM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ success IMO

Livin' the lifestyle.

He's into fricasee chicken
Croissants and chocolate éclairs

wait, there are unsuccessful gays?

― kizz my hairy irish azz (Dr Morbius), Thursday, September 20, 2012 5:00 AM Bookmark

sup

how does a person who makes beautiful music think he's unsuccessful i don't know \o_O/

In my experience it's those people who have a natural state of self-dissatisfaction that are the most able creators

the best is when most of that dissatisfaction stems from how you don't actually create anything

that's me!

reminds me of the great line in Interiors when someone says of Marybeth Hurt, "Poor Joey, she has the temperament of an artist but none of the talent."

definitely sympathized with that line

http://www.avclub.com/articles/paris-hilton-launches-new-awareness-campaign-for-d,85226/

guys i just went to a bar to sing "baby baby" karaoke by myself

i think i just peaked

also not to be a bitch but it's kind of difficult for me to get worked up over anything that comes out of Paris Hilton's mouth.

or into it, et al

two dinner parties this week. the first was with the boy's sister, her partner and another of his friends; the second was with four of my friends. i like this "showing your man off to your social circle" phase

^^ that's the unnerving part for me. As a hypocrite in good standing, I refuse to receive the hypercriticism I've inflicted free of charge on others.

i've always loved introducing different parts of my social circle to each other - i love watching how people get on with each other. some people are a bit obsessive about keeping different circles distinct, i've never got that at all.

in this case there may be an element of "look how fucking hott he is"

anyway he made a good impression on my friends.

i've always loved introducing different parts of my social circle to each other - i love watching how people get on with each other. some people are a bit obsessive about keeping different circles distinct, i've never got that at all.

oh I thought you meant "introducing dates to the group." I love introducing friends from different circles.

Ooh exciting!

I reunite with my own paramour tomorrow afternoon after a two-week interval (both of us out of town consecutive weekends) for a cocktail date at Miami's oldest hotel. I love hotel bars.

Since my bf has been out of town (like, all bloody year) I've lost touch with his circle of friends, who are the ones in my life that, like, "go dancing" and "drink beers". I'll call them up when I get bored and want to have a night out, but it still feels like I'm having to introduce myself to them, after ten years of knowing everybody

(My circle of friends are mostly 'hard working parents' and/or 'creative professionals')

the day after my bday party, when he first met lots of my friends, he was like...you know a LOT of people who work in the media, or indeed who don't seem to have "proper" "jobs". yupppp

(by this point my social circle is basically a vast interlinked web anyway, very few completely separate areas)

why the fuck would anyone want a proper job?

Health insurance. #USA

i've always loved introducing different parts of my social circle to each other

I don't like this AT ALL and go out of my way to make sure it almost never happens. (Understanding that this never involves "paramours" or less icky synonyms, cuz I don't acquire them.)

c'mon – you acquire icky synonyms all the time.

I am always extremely anxious when friend circles of mine merge. I don't know whether I'm worried they won't get along or whether they'll all wonder why I'm friends with this or that person.