itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

why is it called ACQUIRING MAN?

also can I just

9) A REAL WOMAN IS THERE

well all right then

yet a REAL MAN does not need to be THERE, merely ON THE LEVEL

in a just world that would be an email harvester for a symbionese kidnapping ring

― goole, Monday, September 17, 2012 3:13 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

or zoo recruitment for aliens?

those lists are so horrible

and mean

what is the right amount of drama

"Jason Anthony is the owner and president of the online publication EvenMinds."

http://evenminds.com/

paging dr. gr80, u r wanted itt

She knows it’s OK to feel down, bummed out, or really shitty that one week out of the month

News you can use.

but they're the same kind of thing we've been seeing around for years and years, so i guess, yknow, no surprises
xps

also apparently a real man welcomes adversity like "cooperation"

did they just fill in these descriptions Madlibs-style

"He created and launched The Acquiring Man in the summer 2012 to supplement the growing amount of interest and inquiries in respect to relationship advice for men.

It’s encoded in your DNA."

yet a REAL MAN does not need to be THERE, merely ON THE LEVEL

To be fair, a real man does need to be PRESENT

always adjust your emotional devices accordingly - see manual

THE ADVICE IS COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR NUCLEI

omg I just noticed the rampant apostrophes

girlfriend's was the first one i noticed

i'd like to know about the smart and insightful (real) women consulted on this project

i think man who runs The Acquiring Man is def a version of ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥

http://acquiringman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ACQMag1stEd1-e1347473279748.png

i mean

DECODING WOMEN

TEXT
&
EMAIL

Do they work
like you think
they do?

so we ARE robots!!
xp

TWEET ME
MAYBE
Are your online
interactions actually
ruining your chances
with the ladies?

I am also cracking up because they apparently don't know what "on the level" means

some unspeakable hybrid of "social media guru" and "relationship coach"

it's easier than you think

it's like a discovery center class in print form

A LESSON IN LISTENING
Learn how to listen the RIGHT way!

I am also cracking up because they apparently don't know what "on the level" means

i think they mean to say 'level-headed' yeah?

seriously what does "the acquiring man" even mean?

i think they mean to say 'level-headed' yeah?

I'm assuming they actually meant "level-heade'd"

it's a magazine for the man who is always acquiring

Always! Be! Acquiring!

acquisitive man

i feel like i'm already acquiring too much. i'd like to be acquiring less. where is the magazine for me, the dequiring man?

i really don't want to believe that quote about women is attributable to einstein

always in the process of acquiring but forever doomed not to achieve, the Acquiring Man exists in a purgatorial state of dissatisfaction, his hopes and dreams unreachable ideals, his heart and mind at odds, mired in a toxic sludge of inadequacy, desire and never-ending motivational advice. He is chasing his own tail, he is searching for meaning in the meaningless, he is alone.

9) A REAL MAN HAS A SENSE OF TIMING

He knows when and when not to crack a joke. He’s charming and chivalrous – in the right way (i.e. opening the door out of respect and appreciation, not because he feels he has to, or because she cant).

a) What does opening doors have to do with timing? "A real man doesn't hit women in the face with a door"?
b) More apostrophe lols, only this one is missing; I do like the idea that a real man recognizes when a woman is tipping over and quickly opens a door so she can fall through it though.

http://www.talshiar.org/Rules/Rulebook.jpg
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition

fucking straight guys

tbh i think "he knows when to crack a joke" is less about "using comedic timing for greatest effect" than it is about "not making sexist jokes in the presence of the ladies"

'knows when to at least try and hold in his farts'

really the problem here is that these tips are so broad and obvious that they basically boil down to "don't be a dick" - they're basically all things we should aspire to but are totally useless as advice

opening the door out of respect and appreciation, not because he feels he has to, or because she cant

even here, you can feel the resentment for women's privilege dripping off the words

those women, able to use their emotions and be dramatic and having things done for them, where men have to be these assertive individualistic man-as-island types

really the problem here is that these tips are so broad and obvious that they basically boil down to "don't be a dick" - they're basically all things we should aspire to but are totally useless as advice

yeah this bothers me but it just sucks MORE how some people will divide up worthwhile virtues and tally them in gendered columns

always in the process of acquiring but forever doomed not to achieve, the Acquiring Man exists in a purgatorial state of dissatisfaction, his hopes and dreams unreachable ideals, his heart and mind at odds, mired in a toxic sludge of inadequacy, desire and never-ending motivational advice. He is chasing his own tail, he is searching for meaning in the meaningless, he is alone.

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Monday, September 17, 2012 8:57 PM

omg rrrobyn i love u for this, lolll

I would excelsior but it hits too close to home

maybe I should start a blog

its really funny how the guy is pretending he got a bunch of elite ladies together and bribed them for their secrets

real men acquire elite ladies