http://www.theonion.com/articles/newborn-loses-faith-in-humanity-after-record-6-day,29588/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:quote:default
― Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Monday, 17 September 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link
they are just on fire lately, to the point that i am tempted to actually subscribe as i feel they deserve it.
me irl
― goole, Monday, 17 September 2012 18:57 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, I figure (and this is of course the point) that if I get forwarded more than 5 articles in a month where there's more going on than just the headline, then I might as well pony up.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 17 September 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/stephen-a-smith-thinking-son-is-finally-ready-for,29589/
Stephen A blowing his top on Twitter over this...
― Jean-Luc Poncey (lpz), Monday, 17 September 2012 21:15 (eleven years ago) link
@stephenasmith
I thought I'd heard enough despicable lies about myself. Now there's some article out that I have a 9-yr-old son and I'm going to have a
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Monday, 17 September 2012 21:16 (eleven years ago) link
Stephen A Smith @stephenasmith
Conversation with him about Sex. Mind you, I neither have a son nor a 9-Year-old. Some ppl are beyond despicable. No end! Sad what extent
People will go to. Amazing how folks try to tear cats down, primarily due to perceived power of the spoken word. Damn Shame, but too bad.
Because I don't intend on going anywhere. Really, Really sad, though!
― Jean-Luc Poncey (lpz), Monday, 17 September 2012 21:17 (eleven years ago) link
oops!
HAHA
― Johnny Fever, Monday, 17 September 2012 21:18 (eleven years ago) link
A+
― This cad needs a cordial introduction to Eugene of Oxbow. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 September 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
I *love* it when people are taken in by the Onion as real. Love it. Wasnt one of the harry potter/satanist ones a big stir amonst some christians groups?
― frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 06:34 (eleven years ago) link
Your every "taken in by The Onion" need catered for:http://literallyunbelievable.org/
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Tuesday, 18 September 2012 09:42 (eleven years ago) link
The Planned Parenthood $8 billion abortioplex was the best. People even put up reviews for it on Yelp. Grade A+ IRL trolling.
― shaane, Tuesday, 18 September 2012 11:51 (eleven years ago) link
Just unstoppable these days:
Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'
SALT LAKE CITY—Seeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans “pay no taxes” and do not take “personal responsibility and care for their lives,” Mitt Romney hastily called a press conference today to apologize personally to the “150 million starving, filthy beggars (he) might have offended.”
Saying that he deeply regretted his choice of words at a private $50,000-a-plate fundraising function in May—during which he argued “(his) job is not to worry” about the lower-earning half of the nation’s populace—Romney personally appealed to the country’s “dirt-caked garbage pickers and toothless street urchins” for forgiveness.
“First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation,” a visibly contrite and solemn Romney said outside a campaign stop at a local high school. “Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides together—the rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters.”
― Old Lunch, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 13:47 (eleven years ago) link
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_macxh1aWpm1qkt6yoo1_500.pnglast comment explains so much...
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:07 (eleven years ago) link
otm
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:11 (eleven years ago) link
omgggg
― goole, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:11 (eleven years ago) link
ha jesus
http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-an-auctioneer-revealing-he-was-molested-as-a-c,29601/
― goole, Wednesday, 19 September 2012 14:27 (eleven years ago) link
damn, that is DARK
― This cad needs a cordial introduction to Eugene of Oxbow. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 15:42 (eleven years ago) link
Something that actually looks like it's from The Onion:http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/tim/2012/09/27/benjamin_netanyahu_AP800809689368_fullwidth_620x350.jpg
― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 27 September 2012 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
lolbibi
― Mordy, Thursday, 27 September 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
glad to see that Israel's christmas ornament sale fundraiser has almost met its goal
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Thursday, 27 September 2012 19:37 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― let's get the banned back together (schlump), Thursday, 27 September 2012 20:12 (eleven years ago) link
front page of the NYT that one
― EVERYONE COOKING SCMABLED EGGS,CHEESE WITH TOASTER!! (forksclovetofu), Friday, 28 September 2012 15:04 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/textingwhilefielding-causes-record-number-of-outfi,29735/
lol @ last line
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Sunday, 30 September 2012 02:34 (eleven years ago) link
Argh - the 'you have reached your limit' message now comes up in incognito mode in Chrome.
― ljubljana, Sunday, 14 October 2012 19:08 (eleven years ago) link
fwiw there's no article limit ON IPHONE
― caek, Sunday, 14 October 2012 19:13 (eleven years ago) link
a well-timed click of the stop loading button can get you the article but not the subscription overlay.
― Perfect Chicken Forever (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 14 October 2012 19:43 (eleven years ago) link
If you're reading it that much, pay them.
― Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 14 October 2012 21:15 (eleven years ago) link
doesn't seem that much - 5 clicks through Infographic and the like...
― ljubljana, Sunday, 14 October 2012 22:29 (eleven years ago) link
this just made me lose my fucking mind.http://www.theonion.com/video/nauseatingly-precious-nyc-couples-to-walk-around-i,29751/
― for reasons of sass (the table is the table), Thursday, 18 October 2012 08:53 (eleven years ago) link
hahaha that was awesome!
― Una Stubbs' Tears (Trayce), Thursday, 18 October 2012 09:20 (eleven years ago) link
Onion TV has a new Ted Talk spoof. Didn't think the first one was that funny. Meanwhile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Cwxl_-DHqKo
― michael bolton's reckless daughter (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 October 2012 14:53 (eleven years ago) link
I'm also fond of the lake dredge appraisal program
and this is also good:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwQns6vGfj4&feature=relmfu
― michael bolton's reckless daughter (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 October 2012 14:57 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/okay-lets-cut-to-the-chasewhich-people-do-i-know-w,29937/
― sktsh, Wednesday, 24 October 2012 15:21 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/trump-announces-hes-a-very-sad-man !
― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 24 October 2012 16:19 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onion-endorses-john-edwards-for-president,29989/
― let's have sex and then throw pottery (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 24 October 2012 16:36 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/mother-mary-was-essentially-raped-mourdock-says-wh,30083/
'Mother Mary Was Essentially Raped,' Mourdock Says While Digging Self Into Deeper HoleOCTOBER 24, 2012 | ISSUE 48•43 | MORE NEWS IN BRIEF
...At press time, multiple male Senate candidates in their 60s remained divided between those who believe pregnancies resulting from rape are biologically impossible and those who believe they are the divine will of God.
― the max in the high castle (kingfish), Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:43 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/blown-opportunity,30439/
― paula boradwell (crüt), Monday, 19 November 2012 16:56 (eleven years ago) link
FRIEND-LESSNAGS
― goole, Monday, 19 November 2012 16:58 (eleven years ago) link
5-Hour Energy CEO: Deaths Just Collateral Damage In War On That 2:30 Feeling
― paula boradwell (crüt), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
Apparently this one - 8-Year-Old Palestinian Boy Pleasantly Surprised He Hasn't Been Killed Yet - has the morons over at Beetbort.com crying anti-Semitism.
That’s the ticket, Onion. Buy into the “plight” of the Palestinians and ignore the fact that Hamas started the violence, that Hamas has fired on Israeli cities, that there are strong rumors that Hamas now has chemical weapons it can launch. Ignore the fact that Hamas deliberately places its rocket sites in civilian areas in an attempt to force Israel to kill civilians for left wing media consumption. Ignore that Hamas deliberately targets civilians while Israel takes great care not to.Here’s one for you, Onion:As their print version dried up with the last issue on November 1, 2012, the Onion, the celebrated satirical publication, decided to sell out to anti-Semitic propagandizing. “We noticed that Jews are becoming an easy target for vilification,” explained the editor, “and we just couldn’t resist the impulse to jump on the bandwagon. I mean, look at history; some of the most successful publications in history, like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, vilified the Jews too.”
Here’s one for you, Onion:
As their print version dried up with the last issue on November 1, 2012, the Onion, the celebrated satirical publication, decided to sell out to anti-Semitic propagandizing. “We noticed that Jews are becoming an easy target for vilification,” explained the editor, “and we just couldn’t resist the impulse to jump on the bandwagon. I mean, look at history; some of the most successful publications in history, like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, vilified the Jews too.”
Make sure to read the comments, they're a gem!
― super perv powder (Phil D.), Tuesday, 20 November 2012 19:23 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/28/world/asia/chinese-news-site-cites-onion-piece-on-kim-jong-un.html
When Mr. Tracy was asked Tuesday whether he had any concerns that the misinterpretation of these articles could provoke international incidents, he said, “The Onion fully intends to provoke international incidents.”
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 21:05 (eleven years ago) link
Mr. Tracy added that The Onion had issued a formal statement. “We are pleased that one of our many fine Communist subsidiaries, the People’s Daily in China, has received accolades for its coverage of our Sexiest Man Alive announcement,” the statement said. “The People’s Daily has served as one of The Onion’s Far East bureaus for quite some time, and I believe their reportage as of late has been uncommonly fine, as well as politically astute.”People’s Daily could not be reached for comment on Tuesday night.
People’s Daily could not be reached for comment on Tuesday night.
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 21:06 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/slideshow-the-9-most-scandalous-rihanna-photos,30516/i admit it; i clicked thru all
― (alternatively, “Respec’”) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 28 November 2012 21:08 (eleven years ago) link
i clicked through half and then they wanted me to register
― abanana, Wednesday, 28 November 2012 22:25 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/articles/cut-this-monster-out-of-me,30602/?ref=auto
― ledge, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 10:02 (eleven years ago) link
omg
― before and after broscience (goole), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 16:41 (eleven years ago) link