Severe Anxiety

me too

non·plussed/nänˈpləst/
Adjective:
(of a person) Surprised and confused so much that they are unsure how to react.
(of a person) Unperturbed.

ok, this is making me anxious, are emily.s and emilys. the same person?

I don't think so! One is America and one in UK unless I am wrong? It's weird/confusing though!

That is exactly what I thought. Whew, I thought I was going nuts.

lol minor anxieties on the anxiety thread surprise surprise ;)

oh wait it's emil.y and emilys.

never mind, I'm bad at this

I was allot anxiety today when I had to go train some people but then they didn't even show up.

My roommate was allowed to audit the course she wanted, and now she seems fine. I hope everything levels off for her a bit more now. Thanks for everyone's thoughts.

maybe since she's feeling better you could have a compassionate but boundary setting discussion about how any future episodes should be managed? this all seems like a potential large burden for you, a virtual stranger to her, when you have just arrived and have your own work and affairs to worry about. the fact that she seems fine now that she's got her own way with the course makes me wary.

the fact that she seems fine now that she's got her own way with the course makes me wary.

Yes, that occurred to me too :/ There are others in the house as well, including the couple who rent it from the landlord; they've been subletting for years and place a lot of stock in a friendly and calm house, so I think if it happened again they would be concerned. I'll see if there's a natural opportunity for a discussion about how to handle anything else that might arise.

Yeah, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, but freaking because of not being able to do this one course NOW seemed a bit childish. But idk, maybe not doing it was messing with her whole grad school plan.

Yes, emil.y and I are distinct. She once came across a thread a drunkenly posted a long time ago, and said something to the effect of "At first I thought this was me! Thank god, I don't remember ever being this much of an arse," or something, which made me lol.

What a saga ljubljana! How's your roommate now?

I got signed off sick for 2 weeks after the last major bout of anxiety. I went to Barcelona and baked in the sun, and then I went to Wales and wandered in the rain, and I felt good so I went back to work. Two weeks on, and it's just about as bad as before. I'm not weepy this time, but I am hostile & defensive, and my heart feels like it's split into several parts and they're all trying to get out of my chest in different directions. I've emailed my boss to say I'm not going in; I was shaking too badly to phone her. Then I had to turn my blackberry off because the prospect of a reply was unbearable.

I'm cutting and running from this job, which is fine - my contract is up at the end of the month anyway - but I can't help wondering what this means for the long term, if I can no longer do the only type of work I'm qualified for because I can't handle the pressure, or *any* degree of conflict in the workplace?

I'm not on any medication at the moment except ambien which I take 3-4 times a week. I've been on Prozac in the past but I didn't like it. I don't get depressed except through mental exhaustion caused by the anxiety. Should I be asking my GP for anti-anxiety drugs? I'm seeing him later today.

Ambien is very good IME if you have a day job. Many medications don't help you get work done. It's either that or harder stuff like tranquilizers or sedatives which are kind of sleazy these days and you can develop a nasty addiction.

A while back I found myself using my surplus of pain medications to get through the day. Thank god they ran out before I got addicted. The stuff works and you feel great, but...then you have a nasty addiction.

I had to fight with my doctor over several visits to get him to give me anti-anxiety meds, not anti-depressants. Kind of silly to take anti-depressants when you're not really depressed. I wonder why they are so reluctant to prescribe those, seeing how the capitalist system mandates productivity!

xp Roommate now seems totally fine, if a bit hyper, but I suspect she's always hyper. Hard to pull apart personality/anxiety/bipolar in this case.

What a horrible dilemma about work. I don't have any clue about the answer to your question, but wishing you all the very best for getting a sensible conversation out of your GP and decent treatment from this and future bosses.

along with all the healthy advise of sleep, proper diet, and exercise, I would also add practicing gratitude or whatever you want to call it, counting your blessings, looking on the bright side...

sounds simple and corny, but there have been studies done that show improved mental health. So simple to do daily, but so easy to forget.

Thanks everyone. The doctor has signed me off for 2 weeks again, which gets me out of ever having to go back into this job. I do have to dig up the strength to talk to HR, file outstanding time sheets, do expenses, hand back my kit etc., which all feels impossible but I will try to tackle it tomorrow. Oh and I should tell the boss. Erk.

No meds; I've promised to go outside and walk around a lot again.

I agree about the blessings and have repped several times on the depression thread for loving-kindness meditation etc. The Buddhist centre near my digs in London is a scary cult but I'll have another bash at finding some non-scary place to go and breathe and think nice things.

Hiya, Zo! Thinking of you, fyi.

That level of anxiety/life-interference might merit another look at meds. Obviously it is a very personal choice, and there are good reasons to NOT take meds, but a low dose of tranquilizer is not the devil, and it doesn't have to be forever. There are other options like buspar, if the worry is over dependence or addiction.

Anyway, I hope it gets better soon! Maybe there is another solution to livelihood that won't make you feel terrible.

The past few days I've woken up with my heart racing and my mind over-fixating on stuff and it's driving me nuts. The last time I was like this was before a job interview and it was pretty severe although at least temporary. I have a lot of particularly stressful things on my plate right now but I feel like I'm not even *that* actively worried about it all, it's like my body knows otherwise and is going into overdrive. The other day I could hardly eat and I'm not getting much sleep. Work is great because it distracts me and then I'm calmer, although the heart-racing thing fluctuates through the day (and makes me worry more!), but I think I need to see a doctor soon if it doesn't get better. I'd rather not take anything if I don't have to.. any tips for strategies to get past this? I usually just try and figure out what in particulary is worrying me so much, but I know, and it's not going away for a while.

well let's start with the basics. breathe, in and out, a lot. maybe cut down on your caffeine, drink some good herbal teas. pay attention to your body and what you need -- the right clothes, the right food, the right setting. if you're not feeling something, don't be hesitant to do something about it. little things are huge.

apart from that, talk to someone. like in person. voice on voice helps you clarify, and people have tips.

most importantly, smell the flowers. literally, go buy some. and something nice to drink and eat. if you think you're taking things too slow, take them even slower. there's plenty of fast-paced shit in this world as it is, it could stand a slowmo. and don't forget to breathe.

surm so otm with all of that

def see a doctor about the racing heartbeat though, just to be safe.

the only other thing I would say is anxiety creates a muscle memory, so each time you get into a situation where you've had anxiety before, you have it again almost right away. but you can lessen it by concentrating on breathing, on getting your brain out of that pattern and slowing yourself down and concentrating on being calm. even if you have to go outside or take a moment by yourself somewhere, stop what you're doing...it can help a little bit.

this is probably good advice, but sometimes it's helpful to scream your guts out. a guttural scream. AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

this was easy for me when i had a car, but now i don't have one, and maybe you don't either. so maybe get a zipcar and scream your guts out.

this is probably NOT good advice, is what i meant. jeezus

your face is good advice xx

hey kinder, it wouldn't hurt to get a checkup, but the heart racing thing from stress just happens sometimes. It's hard not to pay attention, which prolongs it. A while ago, I went through a whole bunch of tests for this because it was happening all the time, and found out there was nothing physically wrong, but spending a couple weeks worrying that I might have a heart condition & not being able to stop the racing was not pleasant. I would say def cut back on caffeine and alcohol and sugar, especially in the evening. Weirdly, sometimes if you cough it will settle down, or focusing on some other movement like tapping your fingers together can take your mind off it and then it goes back to normal.

When I get racy and panicky, which mostly happens at work, I put my headphones on with one of Brian Eno's ambient albums - Music for Airports, Amnient 1-2-3 etc. They really, really help. His ambient music is so calming and focussed.

Walking/cycling change of environment (preferably a Park or some greenery).

Sometimes it doesn't seem to be having any effect whilst I'm out, but I feel better when I get back.

Thanks all, this is good!
Muscle memory thing and coughing both otm!
ZS I have a driving test in a few weeks, maybe I will try your advice then?
Tomorrow I should hopefully be able to address one of the things so I'll see if anything improves then. It doesn't help that I'm the world's most impatient person so I get antsy if I know I have to do something but I can't do it for a while.

ZS I have a driving test in a few weeks, maybe I will try your advice then?

irl lol

well, you didn't perform so well on the parallel parking portion of the exam, but your guttural scream is magnificent!

hey kinder, it wouldn't hurt to get a checkup, but the heart racing thing from stress just happens sometimes. It's hard not to pay attention, which prolongs it. A while ago, I went through a whole bunch of tests for this because it was happening all the time, and found out there was nothing physically wrong, but spending a couple weeks worrying that I might have a heart condition & not being able to stop the racing was not pleasant. I would say def cut back on caffeine and alcohol and sugar, especially in the evening. Weirdly, sometimes if you cough it will settle down, or focusing on some other movement like tapping your fingers together can take your mind off it and then it goes back to normal.

Daria otm. I went through the same thing a couple of months back -- my heart was fine, but fixating on it or worrying about it just made things worse. Cutting back on sugar and caffeine helped me out a lot.

Roommate from upthread has been broken up with by her b/f and I'm not sure how this is going to go. Turns out she was on anti-depressants as well as meds for bipolar, and her doctor let her stop it all at the same time, on the cusp of grad school. Insane.

I've had the heart race thing only through work stress or relationship stress, and only first thing in the morning - it starts about 0.0000001 secs after I wake up and won't stop until I get up. Haven't had it happen in a while, but it's horrible. Good luck with getting rid of it, Kinder, everyone's advice here sounds very sensible.

^^^I have also had the waking-up-with-heart-racing thing. It gets better as the day goes on, a fact that I try to remember in the moment. 99% of the time I'm feeling OK by the time I've showered/commuted/settled in at work. The other 1% is what xanax is for.

Oh but my protip is that having everything laid out and ready to go for the next morning--clean towels, every bit of necessary clothing/accessories laid out, coffee maker set to auto-start, car gassed up--helps ease the discomfort somewhat. But it is still damned uncomfortable!

That's a good bit of advice whether or not you're getting the wake-up anxiety. Morning prep, when I actually do it, always makes me feel pretty good in general, makes it easier to go to sleep, and makes my morning a lot better.

otm

Yes, my anxiety & phobia workbook has a bit about time management. I am always underestimating how long it will take to do things and running around all harried. Nbd for a long time, but I think it caught up with me always being like aaaggghh!

^^ this is my life too.

Unbelievably, heart racing happened to me this morning for the first time in about 18 months. Did I do that to myself just by posting/thinking about it? Very stressful day today, so probably not.

I got so mentally unbalanced and had a middle of the night brain anxiety thing last Thursday and ended up calling in sick to work on Friday. All the advice here is pretty good.

Z S otm about the joys of guttural screams in a car, although I can't speak as to its efficacy. I've been doing this on the rare occasion for years!

i've been doing some reading about OCD lately, since i'm wondering if i have a form of it. not compulsions as much as obsessive/fixating thoughts about really horrible stuff that intrude on my thought process at inopportune times and make me feel really anxious and awful about myself. i just read a comic book about a character who suffers from this, and it hit pretty close to home for me. it doesn't affect my life too horribly (unlike previous bouts of generalized anxiety), but it will often catch me at a moment when i'm happy or content, and then instead of being happy or content, i just wonder why i am so awful.

You're not awful; that does sound like OCD. I've had intrusive thoughts about self-harm. I have NO INTEREST in doing this, but it crosses my mind that it's POSSIBLE and then I get freaked out. Thing you've got to realize is these thoughts occasionally flicker across almost everyone's mind from time to time, just most people brush it off or maybe don't even notice it. Just because you think it doesn't mean it's going to happen, and it doesn't make you a bad person. I think people who suffer OCD tend to overvalue their thoughts.

yup ocd. what a shit show. tends to jump in right when you're most content, attacks "what you value most"

so how do you deal with OCD? are there CBT-like techniques that help? i guess i've had this my whole life - it just seems different than my fear-based anxiety. i feel afflicted by anxiety like i'd feel afflicted by illness, but the OCD stuff seems more like it's just my worthless, disgusting self being worthless and disgusting. in other words, anxiety is a problem i have, and this other stuff is just who i am.

i mean, i can identify with ocd a bit -- my general philosophy is don't worry too much about it unless it gets in the way of other things i want to do. when that happens, i check myself (however necessary) and so far i have wound up ok.

do i think this could last forever? honestly, maybe. i hope so! it is kind of who i am. obsessing about things is fun for me in most ways! the c and the d are the things that need to be checked. everyone's different though so obvs ymmv.

OCD is (can be dealt with as) an illness, too. If you can move compulsions from the "worthless & disgusting self" category to the illness/pathology/maladaption category, that's a start.

(but don't move those compulsions to the "do I have a life-threatening illness?" category, because lemme tell you from personal experience that shit will drive you insane)

how to deal with OCD.

well there are a few things. 1 is you have to realize that some wheels are just going to turn. like, you don't have a choice. certain obsessions will just turn round and round in your brain and you have to let them. help what you can change as opposed to trying to change what you cannot.

OCD is very, very personal, so dealing is v different for everybody. some CBT mechanisms work more universally than others. 1 is embracing imperfection. a lot of people dealing with this are obsessed with perfection and beauty and so training yourself to find the beauty in imperfection, disorder and ugliness can be crucial. those things are beautiful too. say the wrong thing, mess up your hair and act like a total goofball when you need to. it helps.

other than that i'm still tryin to figure it out so i'll keep you posted

appropriately enough i have been going thru a series of extreme OCD attacks for the past couple of days, and i was hoping to wake up on the day of thanksgiving feeling thankful and free of anxiety but that didn't happen. i am at a loss. every time i think i may have a good go at a reasonable day my brain flips out. and at this point i am just tired, all i want is to lie in bed. but it's thanksgiving and there are people coming here and as much as i feel like a broken record, and as sick as i am of all of this, i really just don't know how i'm going to put on a face and be full of mirth. pretty sure my only answer is to get tanked.