Phrases you hate...

"I come bearing gifts"

especially when it's used ironically and the "gift" is something really really unpleasant. "I come bearing gifts!" *drops a huge stack of papers on desk* / *shits on desk* / *shoots u in face*

"if you could..." statements that trail off without a consequence. "if you could take out the trash before you leave..." I guess the implied second half of the sentence is, "I'd really appreciate it," but why not just say so?

hate it when people say "because of, or perhaps in spite of..." when they mean either "because of" or "in spite of", but certainly not both.

(er, "in spite of, or perhaps because of...", I mean)

"doesn't pass the smell test"

Again through overuse.

"the next level"

I've noticed an increasing trend in customer service -- specifically in line situations -- for service people to say "May I please help the following customer?"

That just can't be right. "The following customer" implies that you're about to specify which customer you mean. It's not the same thing as "the next customer," is it?

Huh. Haven't heard that yet. Back when I was in retail, it used to bug me when my coworkers would say "Can I help who's next?"

"No, Pete Townsend really had a good handle on that one..."

Can I help who's next?

it was an interesting post to read at 4:40 in the morning - the perfect time to read language log I find - but when I hear that phrase I just assume a speedy fusing of two separate sentences: "Can I help?" and "Who's next?"

Your call will be answered in the order it was received.

doing more with less

...in this time of economic uncertainty...

"moving forward"
"touch base"
"killed/killing/kill it"

This is more of a pet peeve-y thing but adding only "So" before a word as a response and ... nothing more.

"That movie was great!"
"So good."

"Did you watch the debates?"
"So boring."

I don't know why this irks me but it does.

adding "kind of thing" to the end of rambling sentences

"Like us on facebook" FUCK YOU DON'T COMMAND ME WHAT TO LIKE

it was an interesting post to read at 4:40 in the morning - the perfect time to read language log I find - but when I hear that phrase I just assume a speedy fusing of two separate sentences: "Can I help?" and "Who's next?"

― Fizzles, Friday, September 28, 2012 11:48 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think it's just an unfancy way of saying "I shall now assist whosoever may be the forthcoming person in the line"

i see "...and whatnot" everywhere now. i read it all the time. even in stuff by really smart people.

i used it in my youtube videos as a gag, but ever since i started doing them i hear/see it all the time. you know, any list of things followed by "and whatnot".

i like using 'and whatnot'!
much better than swearing like a sailor.

another sports one (basketball): "Icewater in his veins!" because to me that evokes a dude who would be shivery and uncomfortable, not cool under pressure.

has their been any hatred for "could care less" yet? that one makes me cringe, like i have icewater in my veins.

In the 7th grade, the coach told me I had icewater in my veins after I hit two clutch free throws against St. Bavo. Presumably the icewater would absorb the excess heat caused by the stressful situation. Perhaps the equilibrium would be a stable 98.6. Use your imagination.

it sounds painful though

"I'm just spitballing here but..."

Said often by dudes in office meetings and it's usually followed by a terrible idea.

"Deep cuts." I'll adjust. We used to call them album tracks. Deep cuts sounds so...elevated, if the first albums you owned were by the Guess Who and the Partridge Family.

butt crack of dawn

see also: crap of dawn

aka sparrow-fart in the uk

What's up with all these hills/flags that people have been choosing to die on/under lately? Is this some Game of Thrones thing?

I don't like "balls-out" "balls to the wall" or "boom-boom room". I just find them all ugly sounding.

as we move further from the 2012 election cycle, "skin in the game" has become more infrequently used, thankfully. still hear it occasionally though and it makes my skin crawl.

similarly, "skin of your teeth"

"shirts and skins"

"skin in the game" sounds hot.

you're all thin skinned
those words are fine

any phrase can sound idiotic in the mouth of an idiot

"Shit eating grin"

British people saying "jonesing", like they even know what it means. I don't know what it means. What *does* it mean?

Although I suppose that's just a word. How about "I'm totally jonesing on the banh mi at (wherever)".

I've never heard jonesing *on*" something - only jonesing *for* something.

jonesing *for* something means you have an addict-type craving for something. I think it might have started as heroin slang?

See, I told you I didn't like it.

http://oldschoolmusiclover.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Basket-Ball-Jones-Single.jpg

(That was supposed to be http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Basketball_Jones_single.jpg)

"Good times."

"Not so much."

"could i actually..."

"That's concerning."