Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

that is reasonable. also I am drunk right now.

I am not about to waste a Sunday night designated driver.

finally went on an okcupid date, it was pretty aight

good dogwalking partner if nothing else

thanks f.hazel!

so what's the etiquette when you look an okc date up on facebook and realize that they are fb friends with a recent-ish ex that you're not really speaking with?

I dunno, I think I mentioned somewhere upthread having been in pretty much that exact situation. Which sucked because I was really hitting it off with this lady on OKC and she got weirded out when she realized we both knew this same mindfuckery person (who she was semi-convinced had convinced me to mess with her on OKC...because that's the kind of thing you could imagine this person doing) and we wound up never meeting. So I guess it depends somewhat on the extent to which you and the date are okay with the coincidence. Which I guess you won't know unless/until you bring it up.

if I wanted to find out how they know each other, i personally would pretend i did not know that info and figure out a way to fish it out of them in conversation, and be like oh! i know that person. how do you know them?

I kinda wanna see f.hazel's answer explanations if they're so cute, apparently, but I don't really need an internet crush on an ILX0r who lives a billion miles in Texas I guess. :-/

Everybody needs a crush that lives in Texas!

Would it be better than having a crush that lives in Croydon, would be the question.

i think i might be the loneliest ilxor :(

I dispute yr claim, and challenge you to a loneliness duel! Frozen Trader Joe's dinner at dawn!

In the wrong mood OKC trawls can exacerbate the hell out of loneliness. What did you decide about the friend-of-ex dilemma?

In the wrong mood OKC trawls can exacerbate the hell out of loneliness.

For sure. Like, not only am I alone, but there also doesn't seem to be anyone out there for me (as if OKC represented the entirety of the dating pool)!!!

I will also have to dispute this "loneliest" claim. You are in good, lonely company.

i decided not to bring the friend of ex thing up but i haven't even met the person and who knows if we will even meet!

i'm going to cook myself a nice dinner and watch pretty little liars and hopefully cheer myself up.

Everybody needs a crush that lives in Texas!

Don't doooooooooo it!!!

had a 'date' last night. she was nice? and tall, because those are the women who message me, lol. it was fine (i was in a good mood!) but there was no, uh, spark i guess.

also she doesn't drink and apologized once for saying 'hell', so perhaps we are poorly matched.

i worry that i have lost the capacity for sparks tho

You haven't! I felt a nasty old newspaper left out in the rain, and now I am all sparkles. The solution is to get yourself an utterly impossible crush in Texas!

how about croyden

That would probably work too. Is it located on a hellmouth, like East Texas?

my attempt to cheer myself up failed due to getting a rejection call for a job i interviewed for. boo-urns. however i made some ok ratatouille.

croydon making a strong showing for capital crush city

Croydon, birthplace of Dubstep - and crushes.

Spark is so confusing because it is not something that can be predicted nor controlled for, and yet without it these things don't work.

I'm sure there's got to be something one can do to work on one's sparkiness - or even receptivity - though. But without the right reactive partner it isn't going to happen. Like safety matches.

See if listening to SParks helps?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTe5aClA3QE

i'm going to cook myself a nice dinner and watch pretty little liars

i <3 this show

Got a weird wave of messages from folks on OKC. Makes me wonder if they stuck my profile up somewhere it was more visible or something. Or maybe it's just because I was born in Croydon.

About my current situation, all I'm saying is, everything I said? I take it back. It turns out I don't even know what getting to know someone looks like. Or is. But I take it back. Forward to something interesting, with any luck.

OKC is really effective at making me feel like I'm probably going to die alone. Time to deactivate again, I suppose.

Waiting for her to respond to request for followup date!!!

http://www.nail-biting.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/nail-biting-disease.jpg

Unexpected but very quietly satisfying daet last night. Was supposed to be a quick pint, ended up crashing the end of a literary reading and going out to dinner with academics & translators & SMRT people who were all so nice (and smrt). I don't know what it was but I found a way into the right mental space with enjoyable results. Would smooch.

Umm, again.

Ha, was about to check that detail

plz draw us map to this mental space + congrats!

OKC is really effective at making me feel like I'm probably going to die alone.

Exactly this. And here we go with another late Saturday night in this vein!

She hasn't responded to my second date followup, so ditto, we can all die alone, together.

Not I, said the cat. I have date #4 tonight.

Hope it went well.

I can't even get replies from the people whose profiles say "Replies often" except for a woman who happens to live in my building who's not my type. I think I'll move on to something else.

made a date for next tuesday. don't know why, I should not be doing this right now.

Still seeing the guy I met from here recently :) Pretty pleased with how its turned out, we're a good match.

See I can never quite tell if ppl from this thread disappear because they've met someone, or disappear because OKC has driven them to such depths of despair they want nothing more to do with dating, ever.

So I'm glad there's some of the former.

I suppose I should throw myself back into it when I get back from Orkney but I just don't want to. And this is the problem with Having A Crush, it kind of obliterates the desire to get out and meet anyone else, when really, meeting other people who are More Appropriate is exactly what I should be doing.

Thank you for the kind wishes, it went excellently well.

Not that I post here often enough to noticeably disappear, but considering that the last girl I made plans with cancelled on me, rescheduled, then cancelled a couple hours before we were supposed to meet up because she got asked out by someone else she had hit it off with, I'm closer to the latter, WCC. Anyway, I'm moving soon, and it's nice to have something else to focus on other than dating. Glad to hear things are working out for some people here though.

Flakey people suck. I'm sorry to hear that, Vinnie.

Just continually get the sense that people who are good at OKC are those people who are good at ~dating in IRL~ and I just don't have those kinds of skills or ability to roll with the flakiness.

If my experience is anything to go by, there is a muuuuch higher incidence of flakiness among OKC users these days than than there used to be. I have no idea what accounts for that, but it's supremely annoying. And I say that as someone who's a little flaky but at least makes some effort not to be.

Also, in reference to the previously-mentioned thing where a lot of women prefer not to date short(er) men, I just got a first message from someone who said she usually prefers taller men but that the humor in my profile makes up for that? Which seems somewhat equivalent to "too bad about your tiny boobs, but at least you have a good personality!"

so spunky

I prefer to treat those sort of comments as a gift of rare insight into how it feels to be on the receiving end of the sort of "compliments" that women receive on probably a daily basis.

^^^^^^^^^^^ ding ding ding

(This would probably the the wrong place to admit that I'm starting to develop a weird thing for men who are slightly shorter than me. I feel like I could dominate them or something. It would be fun. (It's similar to the thing for super-skinny, frail looking boys.) Also, Thom Yorke.)

I've noticed a certain type of person ("young NPR" people I guess?), both men and women, mentioning the Oxford comma a lot, in such a way that it seems like there was some big cultural reference to it that I missed. Did Demetri Martin mention it in a routine, or was it in a Mumford and Sons song or something?