Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

A woman messaged me today to tell me that she thinks I'm fun and interesting. She's now hidden.

Full text of the last message I received:

"Hey, you seem like an alright guy. Message me back if you're interested."

...Interested in what? Your lack of effort? At least she's consistent with most other OKC users in that regard. I am interested, though, in the fact that we have thoroughly discrepant 'Looking for' sections and that she lives in another city...

I would've deactivated again by now except that I've been having a lovely exchange with someone (that's shockingly lasted longer than two messages without abruptly and unexplainedly dying on the vine). Although I think I'm going to ask her if she minds taking the conversation elsewhere so I can shut that OKC shit down and hopefully forestall a further deluge of fascinating and engaging messages from other users.

Some super ripped, buff personal trainer wrote me and said he wanted to cook me a Swanson's TV dinner.

What's that a euphemism for?

A Dutch oven, iirc.

I think he actually was being serious and it wasn't a euphemism. I SPOT A FEEDER.

would this be microwave or full on oven-style

More and more lately I've been feeling like I don't need to read men's profiles, I just need to know how they answered a few key questions. The ones about teaching creationism/intelligent design in schools, the one about women shaving their legs, whether or not flag-burning should be illegal. I don't think I've ever seen an answer to a queerness question that wasn't the most tolerant ans--I think people know better now than to be openly homophobic--but the dumb still finds a way.

ha when i was briefly on okcupid, the women shaving question was the first one i checked.

Not only are the questions often the best and most revealing part of people's profiles, they're also sometimes the only way to see how close of a match you are thanks to OKC's fantastically skewed metrics. I keep coming across people with whom I have relatively low match percentages but whose answers to many (and occasionally all) of their match questions are identical to mine. It kinda undermines the whole point of OKC's percentages.

Agreed--I just ask to see the questions with "explanations." A couple of users have had extremely enjoyable customized answers--f hazel is one, and another was named "chimeraminute," which, isn't that GOOD?! But we wrote each other once each and then he left the site.

I explain the eff out of a lot of my answers. If only because so many of the questions/answers are phrased in really dumb or misleading ways.

I answered all my qs long ago when you couldn't explain answers, and clearly now have to face up to going back and explaining some stuff. But I've answered such a stupidly large number of questions...

(just reactivated my profile out of interest in who's local, but went into anonymous browsing and took down pics so that no-one would bother with it; will probably deactivate in a week and not relaunch till I'm good and ready)

Full text of the last message I received:

"Hey, you seem like an alright guy. Message me back if you're interested."

...Interested in what? Your lack of effort? At least she's consistent with most other OKC users in that regard. I am interested, though, in the fact that we have thoroughly discrepant 'Looking for' sections and that she lives in another city...

Could it be an AI bot? I forget why they trawl dating sites, but they apparently do.

Been messaging back and forth w/ someone who just asked to meet IRL, seems quite promising, should I reply RIGHT NOW and risk showing that I how little I'm living it up on a Saturday night or play it cool?

Hey, thanks to smartphones you could theoretically be out doing something fun and you still took the time to msg this person back because they were more interesting than the fun, cool thing you were doing! I tried to "play it cool" a little at first but with so many people dropping in and out on this site, you really just risk them losing interest IMO. I try to meet up with people pretty quickly.

Lol, my last visitor was among the most interesting persons I've encountered, except it's a straight man. Nevertheless, I still sent him a message.*

*In all fairness it turns out he's the BF of this polyamourous woman who's been purposefully pursuing me to no avail.

well one of them, anyway...

How was date with vampire? This question is for edb

I'm waiting for the movie version to see how it ends.

xpost: extremely boring and anti-climactic. And not in any sort of interesting way.

Also, did I mention this guy that checked out my profile may be my doppelganger?

this is 2nd time in orbit's mentioned your hilarious answers f.hazel. can i see?

loool i'm pretty sure i just saw lag∞n (with a black bar across his eyes) in someone's pix

I will email you rayuela so you can see, although is in orbit the same person as laurel? I think of ILX as kind of a gestalt entity.

Yes, sorry about that, I decided to change it up after...however long it's been.

that is reasonable. also I am drunk right now.

I am not about to waste a Sunday night designated driver.

finally went on an okcupid date, it was pretty aight

good dogwalking partner if nothing else

thanks f.hazel!

so what's the etiquette when you look an okc date up on facebook and realize that they are fb friends with a recent-ish ex that you're not really speaking with?

I dunno, I think I mentioned somewhere upthread having been in pretty much that exact situation. Which sucked because I was really hitting it off with this lady on OKC and she got weirded out when she realized we both knew this same mindfuckery person (who she was semi-convinced had convinced me to mess with her on OKC...because that's the kind of thing you could imagine this person doing) and we wound up never meeting. So I guess it depends somewhat on the extent to which you and the date are okay with the coincidence. Which I guess you won't know unless/until you bring it up.

if I wanted to find out how they know each other, i personally would pretend i did not know that info and figure out a way to fish it out of them in conversation, and be like oh! i know that person. how do you know them?

I kinda wanna see f.hazel's answer explanations if they're so cute, apparently, but I don't really need an internet crush on an ILX0r who lives a billion miles in Texas I guess. :-/

Everybody needs a crush that lives in Texas!

Would it be better than having a crush that lives in Croydon, would be the question.

i think i might be the loneliest ilxor :(

I dispute yr claim, and challenge you to a loneliness duel! Frozen Trader Joe's dinner at dawn!

In the wrong mood OKC trawls can exacerbate the hell out of loneliness. What did you decide about the friend-of-ex dilemma?

In the wrong mood OKC trawls can exacerbate the hell out of loneliness.

For sure. Like, not only am I alone, but there also doesn't seem to be anyone out there for me (as if OKC represented the entirety of the dating pool)!!!

I will also have to dispute this "loneliest" claim. You are in good, lonely company.

i decided not to bring the friend of ex thing up but i haven't even met the person and who knows if we will even meet!

i'm going to cook myself a nice dinner and watch pretty little liars and hopefully cheer myself up.

Everybody needs a crush that lives in Texas!

Don't doooooooooo it!!!

had a 'date' last night. she was nice? and tall, because those are the women who message me, lol. it was fine (i was in a good mood!) but there was no, uh, spark i guess.

also she doesn't drink and apologized once for saying 'hell', so perhaps we are poorly matched.

i worry that i have lost the capacity for sparks tho

You haven't! I felt a nasty old newspaper left out in the rain, and now I am all sparkles. The solution is to get yourself an utterly impossible crush in Texas!

how about croyden

That would probably work too. Is it located on a hellmouth, like East Texas?

my attempt to cheer myself up failed due to getting a rejection call for a job i interviewed for. boo-urns. however i made some ok ratatouille.

croydon making a strong showing for capital crush city

Croydon, birthplace of Dubstep - and crushes.

Spark is so confusing because it is not something that can be predicted nor controlled for, and yet without it these things don't work.

I'm sure there's got to be something one can do to work on one's sparkiness - or even receptivity - though. But without the right reactive partner it isn't going to happen. Like safety matches.

See if listening to SParks helps?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTe5aClA3QE