Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

she hateots me

zachlyon, I like you. You're a good egg.

Wooo y'all the rest of dinner was pretty IA, too, but I did eventually get out of the garbage smell and in to the restaurant to pee. My dining companion was 30 minutes late!

LOL I wondered if I had posted about this particular person before and indeed I have:

Irrational Anger, how do I end up friends with these people edition:

- It's fine to be The Friend Who Is Always Late, and it's fine to be The Friend Who Won't Use a Mobile Device, but it is not okay to always be late and refuse to use a cell phone so you can text me and let me know your ETA.

― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Tuesday, May 8, 2012 4:36 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

She started using a cell phone so she did call me to tell me she would be late. Not 30 minutes late, nor did she revise her ETA when it became clear that she had underestimated her arrival time, but we're making progress.

It's not fine to be the friend that is always late.

I used to have a friend who was always late. I started telling him the wrong time for things - if an event was at two, I told him it was at one. He'd get there at 2:15 or so.

The thing is, the friend almost always chooses the time and place!

Oh, well in that case it's your fault for showing up at the agreed time instead of half an hour late. (I'm only half joking. If someone you know is always late invites you to meet them somewhere, show up late yourself. What's the worst that can happen? It'll either be the one time they get there on time and they'll get pissy with you, at which point you can confront them with their own hideous track record re such things, or you'll both show up at the same time and everybody's happy.)

I am the friend that's always late but I normally make more of an effort to get there on time if I know I'm meeting someone who's going to be on their own if I don't turn up on time. Also I do have a mobile phone :)

I know. I actually tried to be late, or at least delightfully insouciant about my arrival time last night, but I took a cab and there was no traffic and I was 15 minutes early. :(

And I'm usually fine with being early because I sit somewhere and read or fart around on my phone, but last night was the perfect storm of accidental earliness, standing next to something stinky, and having to pee.

overheard by a coworker "Yeah...but you can't cook at home for under $20 for two people."

RAGE

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, September 6, 2012 7:58 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I feel like this sort of rationalization is very popular in NYC. "Well we just eat out, our kitchen is so small and anyway it's 80% as expensive to cook at home!" Like (1) all you need is a stove and enough counter space for a cutting board (plus you can use your table) and (2) no it's more like 20% as expensive unless you have no idea how to buy groceries

I learned a long time ago to avoid as much as possible meeting people in places where it is unpleasant to wait. Like if I'm waiting somewhere where I can have a drink and maybe read a bit then it's no big deal if they are 15 minutes late. If I'm waiting on a street corner, it really makes me angry.

It also has the added benefit of me not feeling too bad when I'm late myself.

Yeah, just logistically waiting for people in places where you can't DO stuff is a horrible idea. Especially with public transit, trains are a certain distance apart, you're going to be 10 or 15 mins on one side or the other. Bars and parks and places with seating are A++ to meet.

carl, one thing I don't get is why you didn't just go into the restaurant and use their bathroom, though?

If someone you know is always late invites you to meet them somewhere, show up late yourself.

don't like this tactic tbh. a) it's playing by their uncivil rules, ii) how do you know how late they're going to be, and 3) if they find out then it could lead to an arms race escalation of lateness.

The restaurant was closed, it didn't open until the time carl was supposed to meet the friend.

jvc = OTM

I tried to go in when I got there and was told very firmly that they did not open until 6 pm.

Oh, sorry! I thought they wouldn't allow you in w/o your full party or something.

Makes sense now.

it could lead to an arms race escalation of lateness.

This is what happened to me at band practices. I'd turn up on time, they'd be late. I'd turn up ten minutes late, after a while they'd start showing up 20 minutes late. And so on, until basically nobody showed up until an hour after we were supposed to start.

But yeah, there are few things as frustrating as really needing to go to the bathroom and being less than 10 yards from one that you aren't allowed to use.

xp Nope. Although once it was open, I asked if I could sit at the bar and they wouldn't let me because they like to keep the bar open for walk-ins. In a "hidden" restaurant in an industrial area.

It was down this street on the right, across from the blue garbage trucks that you can see on the left - http://goo.gl/maps/OvoHQ.

late friends = so much IA

That restaurant sounds like one big douchebag.

yeah fuck a secret restaurant

seems p jerky to not let you sit at the bar for 15 minutes waiting for yr friend when you already have a table - I mean, unless the bar only seats 1 person or they get like 100% walkin business, wtf

http://www.vh1.com/celebrity/bwe/images/2011/02/stefon2.jpg

"It's behind the Interstate, across from the garbage trucks, next to the architects.
At Ada, they don't open the doors until six, your friends are always late and the pigeons are ugly."

Oh wow, the people who own that restaurant own two others in my neighborhood that I really, really like and are kind of the opposite of this one. Weird.

Also, can we just kinda silently lol for a second at the idea of a bustling "walk-in" business based on that area? I could maybe see it on nights The Hideout has a big show, but not at 6 PM. wtf.

loooool pplains

pp, irl LOL

the arms race escalation of lateness model seems so weird

am glad emil.y provided proof it happens, was only ever a theory for me since i refuse to play those games.

arms race escalation def happens, esp with people who are chronically late out of SELFISHNESS i.e. they can't bear the idea of having to wait so they would prefer to make you wait

when meeting up w/a friend who is chronically late, i told her i was leaving my apt and then waited an hour before i actually left. we got there at nearly the same time (i was still there a few minutes before her!) but i get anxious whenever i am late, even when it's for meeting up with late people, so i don't do it that often

yeah i get anxious too, whenever i get those "8.30 for 9" kind of invitations i'll be all prepared and ready to leave to get there for 8.30 and then basically pace around the house nervously for half an hour.

pp's stefon bit almost makes having Carl stand in the stinky, pee-denying hood worthwhile.

hahaha I'm glad it was good for something!

lololololol!

I am the friend who is always (usually) late (but I am right now very conscientiously, very seriously working on it) and I have a friend who is also always late, and I have found that works out well for us. We were supposed to meet somewhere at 8:00 and at 7:50 I wanted to do some of the things that make me late, so I called her, and sure enough, she was behind schedule. So I did my thing and at about 9:00 I arrived at our destination just as she walked in.

I actually seem to have a neurotic lateness problem. I'm almost never extremely late, but I have a kind of compulsive nervousness when it comes close to time to leaving the house, or I compulsively do things in the morning that make me like 15 minutes late.

E.g. the other day I couldn't find my wallet right before leaving (what would have been on time) to meet someone for breakfast. And I almost never make it to work by the time I'm officially supposed to be here. There's no penalty for it in my position, but I know it probably makes me look slightly bad.

I'm often slightly late for work..but when I have appointments and meetups or have to catch a flight or something I'm almost manically OCD about being early. I get THE PHEAR when I'm going somewhere

ditto. no matter how early i wake up i never make it to work by 9. but i always somehow end up being at least 5 min early when i'm meeting up with folks unless something goes wrong (subway)

I find that no matter how early I *start* getting ready, I always wind up rushing at the very last second. Yesterday I got up 30 min. early, but I got to work only 5 minutes early, and I was still rushing around trying to get out the door.

The problem is that I use the first part of the extra time to do extra chores. What I need to do is use the first part to do my normal routine so I can leave at any moment, and then use the rest for extras.

yeah, for example I have the bad habit of making coffee and breakfast before I take a shower and shave. On the rare times I've done it the other way, it's easier to make it out the door.

Another related IA thing: I'm always early for doc appointments but then I never see the doc until 15 to 30 min after my appt time.

I'm late for work a lot (well, it's relative. I technically work 8:30 to 5, but nobody cares when I get here as long as it's "in the morning" and I'm always in by about 8:45 or 8:50) but that's because I dread going to work and procrastinate madly.

A couple weeks ago, at the very beginning of my journey of timeliness, I was supposed to meet a friend for a movie. I VOWED to myself to be significantly early. I was dressed and street-ready, & bus tracker said there were buses coming in 20 minutes and 14 minutes.

I sat primly on my couch, reading, waiting for the 20-min bus, but then I remembered I was going to scoop the cat litter. After that I swept, then washed my hands, then filed my nails, and so on, and then I remembered the bus and rushed downstairs just as it drove off.

I was still ~10-15 minutes early, but only because I was trying to be considerably earlier. I guess I need to shoot for being ludicrously early until I get this shit figured out.

it seems like it worked in this case!

i asked my ludicriously late friend to maybe try arriving early, and she flat out refuses.