what the fuck am i getting myself into with this grad school stuff

getting funding in the humanities is such lols, i feel like i'm cheating at life.

30K!!

i'm not getting that much tbf, f that guy.

level of funding is obv important, but how many years you are *guaranteed* funding also critical. my program for this first time this year couldn't fund students in their sixth year or beyond; they are guaranteed five though. I'm at a massive public uni but this is happening everywhere; I'd be especially worried about UC schools here on out

Uhhhhh, got a kind of disconcerting email from the dept. secretary of my program about "whether everything's ok?" and if "there's been a horrible mix up" because it turns out I'm not registered for courses and am otherwise nowhere to be seen. While the latter part can be explained by me being in a different country, I have a sneaking suspicion (having gone through it time and time again) that crossed wires have kept me out of vital communication (the fact that I haven't received any email from the dept in months may possibly confirm this).

I've since officially registered for courses, but mostly I'm pissed that I think I missed TA applications, that and I haven't heard back from any of the lucrative library jobs I applied to (despite haveing hiring privilege from working for the library before/being in the union, etc.)

On the other hand, has there EVER been a year of university education where, right before classes start, some bureaucratic complication hasn't nearly left me unenrolled from classes altogether? I think this is at least the fourth year in a row something of this sort has happened.

I've been getting undecipherable emails from my department about the status of my funding, have no confirmed timetable for classes next week and still have no clue what my grad assistantship project is beyond a vague title, but I think that's par for the course. Your sitch sounds more worrying - very annoying to miss out on the TA and library jobs.

you should both be in touch with your DGSs then! by email but preferably by phone

EDB, I think we share a DGS. Wanna go up to his place together and beat him up?

Seriously though, it seems to be very much treated as normal in my dept that there's no info. I went into the dept and asked them about the timetable, and the secretary was very nice and friendly - she said they'd been having scheduling problems, and talked me through when my classes would probably be. But, lady, why not send an email to all students apologizing lightly for the delay and letting people know whether or not any classes are scheduled for *Monday*? Maybe everyone else just goes with the flow and I'm the only one stressing out.

Then I saw my advisor, who clearly didn't really want to see me till next week. Then got an email from the lab manager about a lab meeting that clashed with the non-confirmed time of a course I'm taking. Emailed about the clash. Got email from advisor to say 'don't trust the secretary! check everything she says! the course ends an hour earlier, I have the schedule'. Well, CIRCULATE IT THEN!

Sorry for moaning - this is not a good day. I'm panicking that I'm not ready for the work itself, if I'm honest with myself, and also wondering why in hell I didn't stay in the UK and at least do all this in a city where I know people (a city I believe EDB is just leaving!) (I know why not - structure of N American PhDs - but I feel like I had my priorities wrong. I'm too old to keep moving around the world like this and it's been too long since I could enjoy spending non-rushed time with people I love).

*Throws glass of water over self in attempt to snap out of it*

Seems the Registrar's Office may have had at least a draft timetable in hard copy for some time. Maybe most students would know that's where to go and get a timetable. As an international student, I didn't.

secretaries aren't your best source of info for things that count; call the DGS. you gotta take the initiative; faculty members are busy this time of year (don't I know it) & you're at a big uni i gather, so you'll have to be p aggro / direct to make sure #1 gets what she needs

Oh, well, I mean I'm actually registered and am registered in my classes. The disconcerting thing is I never heard about anything about this until yesterday.

Yeah, I'm totally on board with y'all - it's not that it's been impossible to get the information I've needed, it's just come indirectly and only by specific request for specific pieces of information, which doesn't work so well when you don't even know the piece of information you need to request. This past week has been like the classic "new student feeling forgotten by the system" week for me. I think I'm getting over the hump but it's sort of a demoralizing development when I'm already going through the more natural anxiety of "have I made a horrible mistake, is this the right program, etc etc"...

"have I made a horrible mistake, is this the right program, etc etc"...

^^^

Wow, I had a financial windfall and can finally prove myself on the big career stage.

I can't wait to be a successful interior designer or whatever so I can have a fascinating career other people can brag about.

I am so excited, I finally get to be an interesting person with a successful enviable career!

hi

Running very low on motivation for dissertation writing at the moment. It's nearly done and then needs some editing but I can't make myself interested enough to get through this last stretch. My thoughts are all disorganised and my attention span for pretty much everything, let alone this, is really poor right now. 10 days is too long to wait for it to all be over ;_;

Going on the insane and vicious job market again this year. Last year I got a few response letters from what I would consider middle of the road jobs and they said they had 400-500 applicants. so I figure I gotta be in the top .002 percent! Almost hilariously miserable.

Yikes! What field is this?

& what counts as a "middle of the road" job?

English. All I mean by middle of the road is not Ivy League basically. So yeah "middle of the road" isn't accurate because those are still very, very good jobs in the scheme of things. I just remember thinking "THIS gets 500 applicants?" it's rough out there!

After 8+ years I turned in my dissertation to my committee a couple of days ago. I can't wait to defend and get this shit over with. Pretty sure I've aged about 5 biological years in the last 6 months.

Job market stories like ryan's are scary!

yeah...you're gonna want to change your way of thinking, if top publics count as middle of the road. you'll be lucky to get a regional or community college visiting job, in an out of the way place.

I was on a search committee last year at my previous university, in a less than desirable locale (though still an R1, if only barely), & we got 400+ apps.

my new department, in a much better uni / locale, is advertising this year for a pretty specialized junior position, & I expect at least 400 apps for that.

in humanities btw

oh im under no illusions. i doubt id be a candidate for a top public even in a vastly better job market.

just enjoy regaling people with that 500 number! especially funny considering how specific a lot of those job descriptions are.

I heard 800+ last year for pretty decent jobs

on the other hand, if you saw some of these apps

i think there is a big developmental leap between defending and getting your phd and actually being a decent job candidate. at least there was for me, and it's something i struggled with. my work is rather esoteric to begin with so learning to present myself to people not familiar with it was/is a big challenge.

i feel like an immeasurably stronger candidate this year. more publications, more teaching experience, possible book in the pipeline, knowing what I'm about--and while i feel good about all that i know that my prospects are still pretty grim.

I'd say to anyone starting a phd program (and this was said to me, though i failed to do it): start positioning yourself for the job market right away.

yes, that's essential; when you're shopping around for Ph.D. programs, talk to potential advisors & see whether they're thinking that way also

in addition to judging their placement record

i think there is a big developmental leap between defending and getting your phd and actually being a decent job candidate.

OTM

I'd say to anyone starting a phd program (and this was said to me, though i failed to do it): start positioning yourself for the job market right away.

This is good advice, although I actually say "Make sure you have a fallback plan" before I say this.

yeah i was about to add that as well!

Running very low on motivation for dissertation writing at the moment.

Imagine what it's like when you don't have the giant goal of getting a terminal degree there to motivate you. I've grown to really love teaching but man, it can be hard to get the self-motivation to do independent research or creative work when the main goal seems to be "adding a line to the CV" (aside from the intrinsic joy and value of the work itself, which can sometimes become hard to keep believing in in the same way as you get older if you're not e.g. working on a cure for AIDS).

you get older whether you're working on a cure for aids or not, bro

Ha, OK, poor phrasing.

I just met with my advisor about a doctoral fellowship proposal and feeling pretty incompetent, stupid and traumatized, even though I know what I have to do next to move things on. Will go and pull myself together and then come back and ask some questions here.

fellowship proposals, "research proposals," and things like cover letters are 1000x more difficult to write than a thousand dissertations! (for me, anyway)

I envision hell as a place where I have to write endless grant applications.

correction: a place where you have to revise the same one over and over after it's rejected

I don't mind grant applications; they're fairly mechanical for me at this point.

It's not writing the grant application itself that's the problem. I'm good with blurb in general, and I used to work for a funder (though not in a position where I saw a ton of actual applications). It's the sudden requirement to come up with a convincing extension to a study I only read for the first time last week. On the one hand I feel like my total cluelessness has been exposed and that I should have re-read all my advisor's work before getting here in case something like this happened fast. On the other, the reason I didn't is that I thought there would be at least a little bit of context-setting about the research direction of the lab, and the best way to approach decisions about what to focus on would be to wait for that. But I don't think it's going to happen.

well, that is what's hard about grant applications! & why they get mechanical, once you know your project well. that sucks to have to try to figure it out on the fly. is this a condition of your funding? if so, that sounds like a shaky program to have joined. can't you just say, uh, I have no idea about how to describe work that I haven't even done yet?

dunno what field you're in but in mine, asking a new first-year grad student to apply for funding would be absurd

It's developmental psych/education, in Canada. At my school they insist that every Masters student and every PhD student apply in their first year - formally I'm not sure that it's a condition of funding, but you'd certainly need a very good reason not to apply (just wastes funders' time imo if people are applying when not ready, but perhaps that's my old life talking). This is for doctoral fellowships, not research grants as such, but you do have to describe the trajectory of your research and specify some immediate projects. Many people who are not yet strongly affiliated to an advisor will describe research they have no clue whether they'll do or not - my understanding is that the funders are betting on the people who write convincing apps, rather than backing the projects.

Really interested in a range of views on this - other fields? countries?

EDB, does your program make you do this?

... and how's it going, btw? Welcome back!

who evaluates these? write to your audience. if it's people in the area / administrators / etc: the angle to take differs in each case

can you just take your statement that you wrote to get into your program, & soup it up with a bit of the direction that you talked about with your advisor? I'd try that, send it to your advisor asap, & see what s/he says.

xxpost: What funding body is it? SSHRC/NSERC? (though I think this is for Canadian citizens only?)

Incidentally I started drafting a SSHRC application a few days ago, albeit of my own volition. I worked through what amounted to like, hundreds of drafts of one last year, so I've internalized the template well enough to pop them off in a day or two :) (I think there were some information sessions about them last week that may repeat). OGS, on the other hand, I have no idea about and should probably look into

I've actually been meaning to inquire about this since here is it's done through your school.

Euler - at the federal level it's the funding agency, but I can't apply at that level (but have to do a dummy proposal for the class). So mine will be for the province - but is evaluated internally, first by the dept and then by a generalist panel. However, the proposal also has to actually work in the lab - my advisor will expect me to actually do the work. I absolutely will soup up my statement - I started last night; glad to have your endorsement of that approach!

EDB - it's SSHRC, but a dummy one because I'm not Canadian, as you say. So I'll write it as a SSHRC for a class assignment, and then reduce it down in length for a real OGS application which will be shorter and vaguer. I have some OGS info I can send you - does your webmail work?

My worry is not the 'how to convince people' part - I can be convincing. It's 'what to do that will actually work and be worthwhile'. I have a better idea since meeting with my advisor yesterday, but the meeting felt brutal (disapproving, why-don't-you-know-this-yet)