Should I go fishing or get a friend to hang around? Celebrated GAY Summer 2012

lol

"cruising: it's nice!" - ILX

as Rayanne Graf would say "people throwing themselves at each other? is like, the basis of civilization"

It takes practice. The problem is going to the gay bars and clubs. A girl can reasonably assume that a guy in any context or location is likely hitting on her. Men unfortunately don't think this way.

Yeah, I still can't quite wrap my head around the idea that every person I don't know at a gay bar who talks to me is hitting on me. Doesn't seem plausible.

Whereas if you flirt with another man at a straight bar the man likely thinks you're just being friendly.

its the sober glancing in the 'real world' that is super problematic for me (fight or fly or rejection or meet cute guy = it breaks my nerves) but I will definitely practice ... I totally forgot but I was cruised once too! it was so cool. and yeah the article is terrible don't read it.

I am pretty much the least flirtatious person ever #shylife :/

fuck flirting

omg that was not me that just typed that that was a alterego

...

there is an article on the guardian explaining people how to be gay

moylan is a grotesque caricature of gayness imho

his writing was rightly exiled from this country

word. he just got here with his girlfriend who is like super nice. (he's really hot so i'm not surprised) and we talked about mariah carey

omg even surm's dealers are sunshine delights

brian moylan is thoroughly repugnant please take him back america

he wrote that thing bragging about outing anderson cooper

repulsive

wait - what is 'cruising'? is it just flirting? for some reason i thought it was something more intense/sketchy than that? like picking someone you don't know up for immediate sex? it has this predatory animal on the prowl connotation to it in my mind...

because re: "do you do this all the time?" i don't think i ever consciously 'cruise' but i'm definitely a flirt.

cruising and flirting are rather different things

my cruise face is kind of weird i think

i mean, as far my experience goes

mistaking cruising and flirting could lead to some interesting situations

http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/cache/images/1257708154-846126-400x316-1257707427Cartman-Anal-Probe-sticky-situation.jpg

i still don't really get how all you regular cruisers find the dudes who are, like, not straight when just out and about randomly. most of the time when i see someone hott i assume they're str8 (and if i don't it's usually because they're with their bf, ugh)

Straight or "straight"?

If they're actually straight, they aren't cruising, so you don't find them.

i meant "men who i would theoretically want to cruise or would respond to if they theoretically cruised me"

which they don't b/c they are usually str8

i'm sure cruising happens out in the open, on the street, etc. but most of the cruising i know about takes place in specific semi-public locations

i thought cruising happened at gay bars

public restrooms, rest areas, hiking trails, parks, adult bookstores, etc etc

now is there like a key, like a signature look - like the "i'm a creep" look ? is it all about the eye contact ? omg so shaday

it's kind of fun to be somewhere and have that "this is a cruising spot" flag drop on you.

xp it's bedroom eyes iirc, lots of peoples' bedroom eyes are creepy

so creeps

i mean, i am not the most accomplished cruiser but there is definitely a whole series of nonverbal cues and signals involved, some intuitive, some less so. it can be confusing.

Oh, gotcha. I don't know.

I am apparently pretty adept at it cruising - I'm fairly sure that on any given night I could score within an hour in the 1.5 miles between my place and Boystown - but I'm over it and I wish I had even a tiny percentage of that skill for flirting. If communicating with words was a big part of cruising, there wouldn't be much chance for me.

i'm sure cruising happens out in the open, on the street, etc. but most of the cruising i know about takes place in specific semi-public locations

wow i literally have no idea where these would be :/

i know j ur good at it

One "tell" is the upward-nod, like "'sup," followed by a second look, then a mutual glance as you pass each other.

xp - anywhere, really!

I'm now confused. Is cruising just picking up for sex? Or is it something else entirely?

i remember reading a book about body language -- i think published in the 1960s? -- that had a section on gay body language and cruising and it documented specific, predictable cruising 'moves'.

cruising involves the take home for sex yes

not necessarily! with a lot of cruising, sex happens on-site with no second location involved

last thanksgiving i came *this* close to cruising someone. i ran out to the store on tgiving eve to get something for a pie i was baking, but ralph's was for some reason closed. and this younger guy who was standing outside and i locked eyes for like five seconds in that "ok, we both know" way and it was crazy tense but then i just went back up the escalator and went home. also iirc my oven was preheating so it was probably for the best.

One "tell" is the upward-nod, like "'sup," followed by a second look, then a mutual glance as you pass each other.

--(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e)

Oh man, I'm an even bigger tease than I realized. Looking at guys would be so much easier if one of us wasn't there.

lex i believe time-honored tradition of sex in public toilets is known in your country as 'cottaging'

yeah i am aware of cottaging but tbh i find the idea of sex in public toilets completely gross

xpost What is staying at bed and breakfasts called? Drippy rimming?

i mean, so elma what would you have done had you wanted to proceed with the interaction

just like nodded

lol elma, i kind of like that

elma!

i think the main thing, in the book, was the nature of the eye contact, held for longer than normal in passing. then a second glance over the shoulder two steps after you pass. if someone turns to follow the other, it's on.

or if you notice someone following you, you stop to loiter for a second -- like, pretend to look into a store window -- and make eye contact in the reflection as they pass.