Severe Anxiety

I got anxious in a mass crowd a few years back, but it had more to do with whether I identified with the people or not. I noticed that at the event I was surrounded by a lot of yuppie/upper-middle-class-types which could have set off my class issues and financial/life-expentancy anxieties, but when I went to a drunken awards ceremony later that night at a packed local comic shop filled with people I either knew or identified with I greatly enjoyed myself and had no anxiety.

Also, why just be morbid when you can be comorbid?

This a reassuring thread to read btw y'all.

I get anxious over the dumbest things: walking under operating cranes. Driving over high, long bridges (I dont drive, so being a passenger makes it worse cos lack of control). Heck being passenger in a car in general.

And lack of control over sitsus like work where I can get worked up into one of those defensive "no no no its NOT MY FAULT I DIDNT DO THIS" stupid and make myself look bad with defensive, barbed responses. Had a work situ blow up recently that was a slap in the face in that regard but was helpful, too - to have it shoved in my face made me go "ok shit. I need to be more aware of my actions at work" and Ive done a lot better since then.

Now, I just need to get past my "I am gonna be ALOEN FOREVERERRR" fears... oh and stop having dreams about nuclear blasts and planes crashing :/

I had to ring in sick this morning, after going into a crying jag on my first call. Just fucking a+.

aw Zora :(

Every day brings a new anxiety. Ive never been particularly scared of heights but am in nosebleed seats and really felt some panic rising. Some dudes sat in front of me and it went away but when I went to the bathroom I felt compelled to virtually hug the seats while walking out.

I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

Thanking u (minimal, temporary) meds, CBT, spousal and boss support, ilx.

Hope other anxious ilxors get some relief.

Anyone else working through the Anxiety & Phobia workbook by Bourne? I have trouble keeping up with exercises with no one to be accountable for but myself. I can't afford the intensive blast of CBT/exposure therapy that I so desperately need. I do see a therapist for dirt cheap thanks to a non-profit that helps musicians and artist-types get mental health help, but our appointments are infrequent and honestly not structured/activity- based enough to do any good. Like, I intellectually understand the basis of these things and why they're illogical. I need structure and homework. Of course it IS nice to at least be able to vent to someone who does get it and doesn't think I'm crazy.

Just out of curiosity, are you in Athens, GA? Or nearby?

...yes?

I'm slightly familiar with that non-profit, is all, from meeting a member of the founding family.

Oh, sorry, this is me, I just changed my log-in. Obviously. Anyway, I am voyeuristically curious about the organization and how it plays out.

oh ok, I was just wondering how you knew my location, but I've probably mentioned it elsewhere. Noose-ys is fantastic. The patient services coordinator is wonderfully nice. You basically call and go in for a short interview with him, and he contacts the counseling center and/or the psychiatrist who work with them (these are both separate from the organization itself). Counseling sessions are dirt cheap. $10/hour, though they are very busy, and it's hard to get the number of appointments I would like. The psych is only $20/visit, and is totally awesome and adorable, and quite willing to talk about life/existential issues and stuff beyond just symptoms and medication. Also seems to be cautious about over-medicating, and took my concerns about taking a daily thing seriously. Seeing him has been quite reassuring, though I haven't as yet begun the SSRI/5HT1A receptor agonist he thinks I should try.

The place also has excellent and affordable practice spaces for bands. A+ all around.

You do sign release forms for info to be shared between the counselors and and the service coordinator, but for me personally I no longer give a shit who knows I'm nuts.

I didn't know yr loc, I just thought, how many organizations like that can there be? And it seemed to fit. I'm glad yr experience is so positive!

Let the paranoid fly, emily!

It's the least of my mental problems!

word, word

i tried that book, but i couldn't keep up with the full body relaxation exercises. it's still valuable, but i've had better luck with more focused CBT workbooks.

Yes, I've never been able to bring myself to do those! I know some other people were talking about phobias upthread, and the handbook really doesn't go that in-depth with phobias, either. I think I need one that JUST deals with agoraphobia.

Can you remember what books were helpful for you?

Also, some of my panic attacks stemmed from undiagnosed asthma (just found out last month). While I was definitely having a panic response to my asthma symptoms, and I still have issues, it is a little better now that I'm taking an inhaler. Soooo, it might be worth it to rule out other correctable physiological causes (low blood sugar, anemia, asthma, thyroid problems)---without, of course, going the whole health anxiety/denial of mental illness route.

I need books on health anxiety, too. Right now I'm really hung-up on anaphylaxis.

justine found and bought this for me, and it has helped me immensely. there's even a section on understanding physical symptoms and NOT letting those compound the panic feedback loop, so there's a good chance it could help with the panic response to asthma symptoms.
http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346943299&sr=8-1&keywords=an+end+to+panic

I had a major anxiety attack (and migraine, vomiting,.....) due to my daughter going to the first year of elementary school. I know it's completely ridiculous (she can already read books for 3rd year elementary school, she can more or less write and do maths). SO WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO THROW UP? Because I fear I will fail. lol. Of course I do not tell my kids why I was so bad. I don't want to inflict my worries on them.

sorry to hear that natalie. but, you are probably right about keeping your kids in the dark for now

taking a short (>90 minute) flight tomorrow, and i'm going to attempt it without medication. (not because there's anything wrong with medication, but because this is a step i'm supposed to take in my recovery from flight phobia.) i'm feeling anxious as fuck about it, though. it's great to have an entire weekend spent under a dark cloud of anxiety just because of 90 minutes on monday evening.

If I'm posting a lot to ilx today, it's because I feel a panic attack coming on and am attempting to stave it off.

I had to go to the hospital last month because of heart palpitations from anxiety and having near constant anxiety for the past six weeks has not been fun.

some posters may know I am a fan of cognitive therapy techniques - do you ever use any?

I probably should, but I think part of the problem is I've been pressed for time so I keep putting it off.

what are you anxious about right now

I don't even have a specific concern, it's just been constant low level anxiety that occasionally gets worse to the point of panic attacks. My doctor has prescribed me celexa to treat it, but it hasn't seemed to be particularly helpful so far. It's been a month, and I can't say I feel any better than I did before.

so it sounds like you have anxiety about having anxiety?

"You do sign release forms for info to be shared between the counselors and and the service coordinator, but for me personally I no longer give a shit who knows I'm nuts."

a sure sign of health in my opinion

so it sounds like you have anxiety about having anxiety?

Yes, that's how neurotic I have become. It would be funny if not for how bad the anxiety can get.

I don't think its funny. But its interesting how humans are such complex systems in that way. Like for example, you may feel bad about yourself for feeling bad about yourself, and then its like a self-feeding cycle. I can see why it would be worrying to think "I have become neurotic." I have come to accept that I am neurotic and that's ok, though it makes me feel better to do certain exercises to deal with it.

xp i think it's pretty typical to feel that way? like, the dread of a panic attack is its own kind of panic attack.

i know i sound like a broken record in this thread, but for realz: get the panic/anxiety workbook upthread. ytth has been lax in using it the past few months, i pushed him yesterday to get back on it since we're flying tonight and he was having a rough day, and it totally made a difference. it does take time, but you just have to carve out 30mins in your day for it, or however long.

I don't even have a specific concern, it's just been constant low level anxiety that occasionally gets worse to the point of panic attacks. My doctor has prescribed me celexa to treat it, but it hasn't seemed to be particularly helpful so far. It's been a month, and I can't say I feel any better than I did before.

― NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Monday, September 10, 2012 4:23 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Do you have a follow-up soon?

I was kind of hoping ILE could be the panic workbook

ytth has his with him today, otherwise i would totally post some stuff out of it for nicole

Anxiety about anxiety is pretty common, I think. I have had conversations with a friend about how having a filled prescription for Xanax results in fewer anxiety attacks since it's calming to know that there's something there if we need it.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety/dp/076792083X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347309949&sr=8-1&keywords=when+panic+attacks

never read this particular book but I dig Dr. Burns in general - you could get the kindle version and have access right away!

I studied Psychology in college and worked in social work. At first I thought I wanted to be a therapist but then I wasn't sure if I was too neurotic myself to really manage that. Still though I have the desire to try to help people sort out their psychological dilemmas. Maybe I should become a "internet" therapist

http://www.online-therapy.com/

I do have a follow up later this month. I will try and check out the panic workbook, I appreciate the advice.

panic feedback loop is pretty common. i get it all the time, end up going from 0-to-euthanasia real quick

I think I generally operate under constant low to medium level anxiety.

At the moment life in general reminds me of how I think about driving: how come other people seem to be able to relax and enjoy it. Are they delusional? At any moment I could be wiped out by an erratic driver or I could cause an accident myself. There's just so much to worry about!

But of course most worrying/anxiety is completely useless.

But it does seem to be getting worse this year. Oonce you start getting into a panic feedback loop, you can feel how bad it is for you - almost shaking yourself apart.

I guess you can think of statistic - its true that someone may wipe you out but how often does taht typically happen if you are sober well rested and not using a cell phone? If it was a frequent occurrence most people would choose not to drive. No one wants to crash. I say this not to put you down or something just to point out allot of anxiety thoughts are not very rational, and if you can see that you will not have the anxiety becuase thoughts create feelings (or so is the idea behind cognitive therapy) I also think worry allot about car accidents - indeed it is one of the main threats to our bodies in our culture but if you cant drive you ant live in our society either very well

We need to start an Anxiety & Phobia workbook group! I think there is a lot of valuable stuff in there, I just can't motivate myself to stick to my weekly practice goals.

Thanks for the props, Brony, and the other book recommendation, ytth

I was discussing countering negative self-talk with my therapist. I said, "I can come up with the rational responses, I just have very little belief in them." She said something that was really helpful: It doesn't matter if you don't believe in them now. Just generate them. Your rational mind is working against a much more primitive, compelling part of your brain, so it takes a lot of practice.

There's also this thing about not tensing up against the panic, letting it come on and riding it out. But I'll be damned if I can figure out how the fuck to do that. (My health worries are insane, and I'm always convinced I need to take immediate action or I will die. No amount of having lived through attacks seems to correct this.) Gwuh.

A good friend recommended the anxiety+phobia workbook to me after it was helpful for him (though my problem is not really clinical anxiety) but I tend to get stuck at the physical relaxation parts. Like, sometimes I can't tell if muscles are properly relaxed or just slightly less tense, or I can feel that they are tense but that I have no idea what signal my brain has to send to make them not-tense, and then I get into a loop of frustration and decide to skip those bits and end up skipping most of a chapter at once and giving up...

Anyone know what I mean or have any suggestions?

Yes! Really hard part for me. I have tried to find guided relaxations that don't squick me out. So far, no luck.