Severe Anxiety

still get anxious in large crowds, manage my anxiety by reassuring myself that no one is paying attention to me and I don't have to keep touching my face because that's a terrible way to hide, they can see around your hand

ytth and get bent I thank you for putting out the lack of confidence thing and how it fuels the anxiety. Oddly, I feel pretty confident and capable and logical and all that other "I can totally DEAL WITH IT" on a regular basis; it is only with this newish bout of anxiety stuff that I am feeling doubtful and less-than-competent and all like "oh fuck what do I do I don't even trust myself to decide" stuff. If I can get back to regular old me, I'd feel fine with stressful stuff thrown my way--I've rolled with it kinda badass style before. But why am I unable to access that inner badass now?

IDK, but thanks for all on this thread for providing a really great place to learn/unload/empathize/etc.

I think I will buy that anxiety book. I developed claustrophobia in the last few years and now I freak out in tunnels. I can reasonably avoid elevators and airplanes give me generalized anxiety but it hasn't gotten panicky yet (getting worse though) but I cannot control the anxiety when I'm in a tunnel. Ugh. My sympathies with everyone's anxiety issues.

I also do that thing that someone mentioned up thread (harbl maybe? On phone so can't see) where I prefer to work out in am but haven't been able to get up early enough and it initiates this cycle of guilt and self recriminations.

quincie, at the risk of being one of those horrible armchair diagnosis people, i would venture that maybe there's a deeper core belief in response to which you've developed your badass style. which is great, since that's a super healthy way to manage anxiety. but if it gets so bad that that response stops being able to manage 100% of the strain, anxiety results. it might just be a matter of shoring up your inner badass strain response, which is certainly a better place to start than from scratch.

xp claustrophobia is the worst. i developed it after a traumatic event, and when i was at my lowest point, i could barely handle driving, since tunnels were unbearably scary, moreso if there was traffic. ditto bridges (fear of heights) and raised freeways (fear of heights, but also feeling them move up and down if a truck passed me triggered my phobia of planes). and fear of being caught in a collapsing building in an earthquake got so bad that sometimes it felt like i spent most of my workday in the safety of my parked car talking to justine on the phone rather than in my office building, which i was certain would collapse at any moment. ugh. 2010 was a difficult year in that regard.

the worst part of the panic book is that it tells you you can't avoid stuff that scares you anymore. like, if you're scared of elevators, you're supposed to find the MOST crowded elevator to ride.

mh, I had not thought along those lines, but now I will! I feel that I have somehow lost touch with my formerly reliable coping mechanisms, which took the form of "wtf, this isn't rocket science, and I'm not going to waste time on shit that is beyond my sphere of influence, and the rest I can DEAL WITH so wtf, why worry?"

I would like to summon that thing I use to have; I know it exists!

Oh god. I'm at the emergency rm (sliced finger) for stitches and this girl was just brought in with a roach in her ear and it's kind of horrifying I would not be as cool as she is being and just hearing all this through the curtain is giving me a crapload of anxiety and paranoia

Agh they got it out and she looked in the ear and was like oh the wings are still in there

I need to sleep with earplugs forever

I got anxious in a mass crowd a few years back, but it had more to do with whether I identified with the people or not. I noticed that at the event I was surrounded by a lot of yuppie/upper-middle-class-types which could have set off my class issues and financial/life-expentancy anxieties, but when I went to a drunken awards ceremony later that night at a packed local comic shop filled with people I either knew or identified with I greatly enjoyed myself and had no anxiety.

Also, why just be morbid when you can be comorbid?

This a reassuring thread to read btw y'all.

I get anxious over the dumbest things: walking under operating cranes. Driving over high, long bridges (I dont drive, so being a passenger makes it worse cos lack of control). Heck being passenger in a car in general.

And lack of control over sitsus like work where I can get worked up into one of those defensive "no no no its NOT MY FAULT I DIDNT DO THIS" stupid and make myself look bad with defensive, barbed responses. Had a work situ blow up recently that was a slap in the face in that regard but was helpful, too - to have it shoved in my face made me go "ok shit. I need to be more aware of my actions at work" and Ive done a lot better since then.

Now, I just need to get past my "I am gonna be ALOEN FOREVERERRR" fears... oh and stop having dreams about nuclear blasts and planes crashing :/

I had to ring in sick this morning, after going into a crying jag on my first call. Just fucking a+.

aw Zora :(

Every day brings a new anxiety. Ive never been particularly scared of heights but am in nosebleed seats and really felt some panic rising. Some dudes sat in front of me and it went away but when I went to the bathroom I felt compelled to virtually hug the seats while walking out.

I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

Thanking u (minimal, temporary) meds, CBT, spousal and boss support, ilx.

Hope other anxious ilxors get some relief.

Anyone else working through the Anxiety & Phobia workbook by Bourne? I have trouble keeping up with exercises with no one to be accountable for but myself. I can't afford the intensive blast of CBT/exposure therapy that I so desperately need. I do see a therapist for dirt cheap thanks to a non-profit that helps musicians and artist-types get mental health help, but our appointments are infrequent and honestly not structured/activity- based enough to do any good. Like, I intellectually understand the basis of these things and why they're illogical. I need structure and homework. Of course it IS nice to at least be able to vent to someone who does get it and doesn't think I'm crazy.

Just out of curiosity, are you in Athens, GA? Or nearby?

...yes?

I'm slightly familiar with that non-profit, is all, from meeting a member of the founding family.

Oh, sorry, this is me, I just changed my log-in. Obviously. Anyway, I am voyeuristically curious about the organization and how it plays out.

oh ok, I was just wondering how you knew my location, but I've probably mentioned it elsewhere. Noose-ys is fantastic. The patient services coordinator is wonderfully nice. You basically call and go in for a short interview with him, and he contacts the counseling center and/or the psychiatrist who work with them (these are both separate from the organization itself). Counseling sessions are dirt cheap. $10/hour, though they are very busy, and it's hard to get the number of appointments I would like. The psych is only $20/visit, and is totally awesome and adorable, and quite willing to talk about life/existential issues and stuff beyond just symptoms and medication. Also seems to be cautious about over-medicating, and took my concerns about taking a daily thing seriously. Seeing him has been quite reassuring, though I haven't as yet begun the SSRI/5HT1A receptor agonist he thinks I should try.

The place also has excellent and affordable practice spaces for bands. A+ all around.

You do sign release forms for info to be shared between the counselors and and the service coordinator, but for me personally I no longer give a shit who knows I'm nuts.

I didn't know yr loc, I just thought, how many organizations like that can there be? And it seemed to fit. I'm glad yr experience is so positive!

Let the paranoid fly, emily!

It's the least of my mental problems!

word, word

i tried that book, but i couldn't keep up with the full body relaxation exercises. it's still valuable, but i've had better luck with more focused CBT workbooks.

Yes, I've never been able to bring myself to do those! I know some other people were talking about phobias upthread, and the handbook really doesn't go that in-depth with phobias, either. I think I need one that JUST deals with agoraphobia.

Can you remember what books were helpful for you?

Also, some of my panic attacks stemmed from undiagnosed asthma (just found out last month). While I was definitely having a panic response to my asthma symptoms, and I still have issues, it is a little better now that I'm taking an inhaler. Soooo, it might be worth it to rule out other correctable physiological causes (low blood sugar, anemia, asthma, thyroid problems)---without, of course, going the whole health anxiety/denial of mental illness route.

I need books on health anxiety, too. Right now I'm really hung-up on anaphylaxis.

justine found and bought this for me, and it has helped me immensely. there's even a section on understanding physical symptoms and NOT letting those compound the panic feedback loop, so there's a good chance it could help with the panic response to asthma symptoms.
http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346943299&sr=8-1&keywords=an+end+to+panic

I had a major anxiety attack (and migraine, vomiting,.....) due to my daughter going to the first year of elementary school. I know it's completely ridiculous (she can already read books for 3rd year elementary school, she can more or less write and do maths). SO WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO THROW UP? Because I fear I will fail. lol. Of course I do not tell my kids why I was so bad. I don't want to inflict my worries on them.

sorry to hear that natalie. but, you are probably right about keeping your kids in the dark for now

taking a short (>90 minute) flight tomorrow, and i'm going to attempt it without medication. (not because there's anything wrong with medication, but because this is a step i'm supposed to take in my recovery from flight phobia.) i'm feeling anxious as fuck about it, though. it's great to have an entire weekend spent under a dark cloud of anxiety just because of 90 minutes on monday evening.

If I'm posting a lot to ilx today, it's because I feel a panic attack coming on and am attempting to stave it off.

I had to go to the hospital last month because of heart palpitations from anxiety and having near constant anxiety for the past six weeks has not been fun.

some posters may know I am a fan of cognitive therapy techniques - do you ever use any?

I probably should, but I think part of the problem is I've been pressed for time so I keep putting it off.

what are you anxious about right now

I don't even have a specific concern, it's just been constant low level anxiety that occasionally gets worse to the point of panic attacks. My doctor has prescribed me celexa to treat it, but it hasn't seemed to be particularly helpful so far. It's been a month, and I can't say I feel any better than I did before.

so it sounds like you have anxiety about having anxiety?

"You do sign release forms for info to be shared between the counselors and and the service coordinator, but for me personally I no longer give a shit who knows I'm nuts."

a sure sign of health in my opinion

so it sounds like you have anxiety about having anxiety?

Yes, that's how neurotic I have become. It would be funny if not for how bad the anxiety can get.

I don't think its funny. But its interesting how humans are such complex systems in that way. Like for example, you may feel bad about yourself for feeling bad about yourself, and then its like a self-feeding cycle. I can see why it would be worrying to think "I have become neurotic." I have come to accept that I am neurotic and that's ok, though it makes me feel better to do certain exercises to deal with it.

xp i think it's pretty typical to feel that way? like, the dread of a panic attack is its own kind of panic attack.

i know i sound like a broken record in this thread, but for realz: get the panic/anxiety workbook upthread. ytth has been lax in using it the past few months, i pushed him yesterday to get back on it since we're flying tonight and he was having a rough day, and it totally made a difference. it does take time, but you just have to carve out 30mins in your day for it, or however long.

I don't even have a specific concern, it's just been constant low level anxiety that occasionally gets worse to the point of panic attacks. My doctor has prescribed me celexa to treat it, but it hasn't seemed to be particularly helpful so far. It's been a month, and I can't say I feel any better than I did before.

― NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Monday, September 10, 2012 4:23 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Do you have a follow-up soon?

I was kind of hoping ILE could be the panic workbook

ytth has his with him today, otherwise i would totally post some stuff out of it for nicole

Anxiety about anxiety is pretty common, I think. I have had conversations with a friend about how having a filled prescription for Xanax results in fewer anxiety attacks since it's calming to know that there's something there if we need it.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety/dp/076792083X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347309949&sr=8-1&keywords=when+panic+attacks

never read this particular book but I dig Dr. Burns in general - you could get the kindle version and have access right away!

I studied Psychology in college and worked in social work. At first I thought I wanted to be a therapist but then I wasn't sure if I was too neurotic myself to really manage that. Still though I have the desire to try to help people sort out their psychological dilemmas. Maybe I should become a "internet" therapist

http://www.online-therapy.com/

I do have a follow up later this month. I will try and check out the panic workbook, I appreciate the advice.