slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

lol

Fifty Shades of Grey – The Classical Album aims to provide the perfect accompaniment to the Fifty Shades reading experience, setting a mysterious and alluring atmosphere with just the slightest hint of danger … music includes The Tallis Scholars’ sweeping version of Spem in Alium featured in the first novel

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Read that as "Sperm in Alium." Of course.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_CRBK_oJYQOo/SW_ATtOukaI/AAAAAAAAAWE/erAK_b5j-Zk/s400/Hitch+in+coffin.jpg

Hitch: "Old boys, I much preferred the butt drawer!"

don't front y'all, "Spem in alium" is awesome

of course it was more awesome before it was associated with the butt drawer but no one said we lived in a perfect world

i want to go on record as saying "Mommy porn" is the worst neologism of 2012

― "Batshit crazy," the foam clog tycoon said. (forksclovetofu)

I'll second that.

― ms. cookie (carl agatha), Tuesday, August 14, 2012 10:33 AM (1 hour ago)

http://jezebel.com/5937084/10-shades-of-stupid-cosmos-worst-bdsm-tips?comment=52123692
poll plz

I can't stop giggling at the response to suggestion number 6.

"Put a bunch of (clean!) loose change in the freezer for an hour. Tell him to slick your vulva with warming lube, then cover it with coins (outside only!). The cold against the warm? Incredible."

O_o

"slick your vulva" is not a phrase I expected to read today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgD0lAQsUao

Cosmopolitan's August 2012 Issue: "Wow Your Man With These Moves Inspired by 'Fifty Shades of Grey'"

They are selling these books @ WalMart now. Their copies are shrinkwrapped for your protection though.

make sure to use only nickels xxp

Oh hey, the apocalypse:

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/263834_4139802487680_502195708_n.jpg

Also, if you're going to be accurate, that's only wearable for a day. Not very good value for money.

(P.S. BARRRRF)

Whyyyyy would you want to advertise that to the world?

Also, it would be nice if interviewers found other things to ask the President about other than 50 Shades of Grey.

http://www.printedclothing.com/shack/contents/media/t_d103-spurp.jpg

OK, that's enough now.

Dom Passantino.

Still in every goddamn airport bookstore on the continent

Prominently displayed, that is

no really that's enough

“We’re thrilled to have worked with E L James to develop the Fifty Shades of Grey range,” says Lovehoney co-founder Neal Slateford. “The Trilogy has introduced generations of women to the joys of pleasure products. Now at last they can buy a range that truly reflects the world of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.”

With names inspired by passages from the books, the official collection will allow women and their partners to enter a whole new world of pleasure. Costing between £10 and £40, the initial range of 20 products includes:

Inner Goddess - Silver Pleasure Balls - £24.99
“The balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally… they make me needy, needy for sex.”

You. Are. Mine. - Metal Handcuffs - £14.99
"The handcuffs, I enjoyed… well, more than enjoyed. It was mind-blowing. You can do that to me again anytime.”

Submit To Me - First Time Bondage Kit - £49.99
“Picture yourself lying here bound and totally at my mercy.”

All Mine - Deluxe Satin Blackout Mask - £16.99
“Slowly, he slides the mask on…and I’m blind.”

Sweet Sting - Riding Crop - £16.99
“He starts small, biting licks of the crop against my belly once more…until finally, that’s it – I can take no more…”

Twitchy Palm - Spanking Paddle - £24.99
“Spank me, please…Sir,” I whisper.

i suppose at least the range is more straightforwardly connected to the books than the classical album.

How is £49.99 between £10 and £40?

"First Time Bondage Kit"

when I first saw this I just thought how much money does she want? Does she want all the money in the world?, but I suppose she must truly believe fanfic-based bondage will be a liberating force for millions worldwide.

Baby's First Bondage Kit

My Little Pony Girl

Tough decision whether to post this story here or 'your most important local news story', but I'm going with this thread: Which Man Will Be Crowned Derby's Own Christian Grey?

White Linen Days' 50 Shades of Grey night

i'm confused. very confused.

This was my favourite detail:

The pair run the business White Linen Days – desirable days out for women – which often includes shopping trips to Bicester shopping outlet, in Oxfordshire

I think I just find something inherently lolworthy about Bicester.

god bless them for helping the little women achieve their dream of a day out shopping.

If only such a business existed here, I wouldn't have to fashion work clothes out of newspapers and bread bags.

had a dream last night that a female acquaintance from high-school made a really aggressive pass at me. I was confused, and she said "it's because i like your reading material." then i looked down and noticed i was holding a copy of 50 shades. bad, bad dream.

That is horrifying. I have been having nightmares every night this past week about being hunted down by a psychotic serial killer, but I'd still take those over your dream.

"It's because I like your reading material" is a killer line. Or possibly a killer's line.

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/10/21/10/enhanced-buzz-527-1350829337-3.jpg

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/grey-tie/?UTM_campaign=SC?w=50%20Shades%20Of%20Grey

Hha, that's one smart wholesaler.

"We can't list all the ways you can use a neck tie but we can say this is the perfect addition to many costumes whether you wear it or use it in some other fashion."

u_u

Viral promotion done right:

http://m.gawker.com/5969891/oh-my-george-takei-gets-intimate-with-a-copy-of-fifty-shades-of-grey

Kind of lol but mostly bleurgh:

http://www.thewrap.com/movies/column-post/gus-van-sant-frontrunner-direct-50-shades-grey-87341

Also Read: 8 Burning Box Office Questions: Is Hollywood Ignoring Women?

Only Cronenberg can do this work justice. Or maybe Verhoeven. Penny Marshall?

so glad these books aren't selling any more. kindle bestsellers list is still filled with similar junk though.

Yeah, I noticed they weren't as omnipresent at airport bookshops anymore

Choking thrift store bookshelves in 3, 2, ...

Sunny Delight of the book game

http://www.vulture.com/2013/08/james-deen-the-canyons-fifty-shades-sasha-grey.html

There are some allusions to Fifty Shades of Grey here, which we know Bret was really into for a while: Your character’s name is Christian, and he’s very controlling sexually and in other ways. What do you make of the whole Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon? Why do you think women are so interested in a character like Christian Grey?

It’s sexy. I mean, I can’t speak for women because I’m not a woman, but from what I know of Christian Grey, he’s a dashing, handsome man with a stoic exterior, and there’s a soft side inside of him — he’s Harlequin 2.0, if you will. He’s a man in control, and he needs a woman with a magic vagina who changes him and unlocks him, and unlocks the sweet part inside of this untouchable man. I mean, I haven’t read the entire thing yet — if I got a call saying, “We want you to read for this movie,” obviously I’d read all three books from cover to cover — but from what I’ve read, the 21st-century titillation factor is just a new twist on your classic romance novels. Twilight has the same thing.