Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

ok when i'm around someone that i'm attracted to there's a voice in my head that says LOOK AT MEEEE LOOK AT MEEEE LOOK AT MEEEE

OK, sorry I asked. Never mind.

on the other hand, if i'm around some people that are subjectively "attractive" but that i'm not attracted to (for example all this girls at the beach) i might check them out but i don't particularly care if they notice me or not ... and if people are not attractive to me i won't check them out and i don't care if they look at me

BUT there's two things

1) you might not have the same reaction as anybody else on earth. everybody feels attraction differently and it's nothing if not an intuitive and personal thing.

2) if you don't feel it maybe it's not that your detector is busted (i guarantee it's not) but that you have other things on your mind right now

things can be confusing in the field, no doubt - but why go forward if you're not sure?

I've owed someone an email for 3 days and I keep not feeling like even engaging with the site even though it's not the poor guy's fault. Thinking of it as an obligation to knock out a message in the "right" tone with the "right" references and be sparkling and challenging is wearing me out before I even start. I know, that's the wrong approach! But there it is.

just ignore him, i'm sure you won't be first or last

Getting overly caught up in replying and I know I shouldn't do that, should try to meet up as soon as establish they're ok so that one doesn't create unreal expectations. This way madness lies.

Done. I may even have been charming, although I can't even tell anymore. But at least I followed through with the msg.

Keeping up the right tone really starts to feel like a chore after a while, doesn't it?

haha someone was CHECKING ME OUT at 4:47 am

Sort of. I want to be real about where I am w my life & feelings right then, not falsely chipper or flirtatious or w/e if I'm not feeling it, but otoh that person also deserves a better side of me for the time it takes to write that email than some uncaring, dashed-off thing that I didn't have to engage with in order to write. It IS work, a little bit. But I'm not pursuing anyone on there atm for that reason, because it doesn't feel very compelling right now.

just curious why do you feel like you owe them anything?

Done. I may even have been charming, although I can't even tell anymore. But at least I followed through with the msg.

I feel bad not replying to messages too, but I honestly didn't expect to get so many replies and now I'm overwhelmed. I feel like this is one area where time spent on message boards benefits me greatly though, as I can dash off breezy, chatty messages without half trying. Maybe they seem pretty bizarre, I don't know.

A new wrinkle since the last time I used this service is instead of offering to meet up they want me to add them on Facebook or switch to text messaging. Not sure how to take that.

I don't feel I owe everything something, but this guy wrote a quite adept msg with wit and personal touches, obv really read my prof, left it the right amount of open-ended, etc. He did good. I would probably even go out w him if I weren't leaving town on Thurs for 10 days.

I will not add people on fb until/unless we are actually DATING. It seems like that way lies...I don't know, false familiarity? Also I want a dude to make an EFFORT to include me in his life, not just be part of a wide circle of people who get to read his shit.

I basically keep anyone on a dating site away from any aspect of my online life until we've been on at least 3 dates. And I don't even have a FB.

Ok, my profile no longer gets any responses nor does anyone even respond to my messages. I think it's time for a re-write. Anyone got any ideas?

Do you not like your profile, or is it just the not getting responses thing?

Can you do other things to change your metrics on the site - such as go back through your question answers (especially if they are ones you answered some time ago) or retake tests or such? Or upload a new profile photo? You can do lots of things to keep your profile fresh and change the people you see/see you without rewriting the whole thing.

Unless, of course you want to rewrite the whole thing?

It's been about a year of the same ol' profile.. might be time for something new.

m@nuela_wr@ught if you wanna take a look

Do I need an account to look at OKC profiles?

I like your profile a lot, M@ndee. I'm CCrisphead in case you were wondering who the dink with the blank profile from Vancouver was.

You don't think it could stand revising? I seriously never get a single message except from guys from out of state and no one ever responds to my messages, either.

Maybe I'll just change a couple words so mine gets bumped to the top :)

It may be LONG WINDED, yeah?

Revise as you see fit! There's no perfect profile, sometimes I change mine just because I'm not feeling an answer that week or month. Plus also yeah, getting bumped to the "Activity" page.

I think I fiddle with mine a bit every time I visit the site. And yours is great, homoII... I wish people would write more comments on the questions they answer. You do! I usually skip straight to "the two of us" and click on "with explanations" to start with.

Ugh, some of these questions I just cringe at the answers!

Just looked at a guy's profile and I winced at:

- "Is art important to you?" No
- "Is abortion an option in accidental pregnancy?" No
- "Should men wear makeup?" No
- "Is fashion important?" Yes, just don't show up looking like you stepped out of an 80's music video (THAT ELIMINATES HALF MY WARDROBE, PAL!)
- "Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?" Yes

I also came across a guy who indicated that he actually wanted a super innocent virgin. And he was in his mid 30's. :/

i had an okc offer today from someone wanting to be my part-time houseboy! plus a message from a hot topic emo who lives in the suburbs of connecticut. and one promising message from someone who has his max age set to 28 :(

he made an exception for you, bene! follow up!

Yes, just don't show up looking like you stepped out of an 80's music video

would swoon at lady who showed up for first meeting looking like she stepped out of an 80s music video

fhazel whats your username on okc? Trying to figure which is you among my recent visitors...

oh, I'm invisible... hang on, I'll leave a footprint

I SEE!

Your profile is great, too!!!

aw, thanks :)

don't reply to people you're not into, it's just leading them on

Yes, just don't show up looking like you stepped out of an 80's music video

would swoon at lady who showed up for first meeting looking like she stepped out of an 80s music video

― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Tuesday, 31 July 2012 22:19 (Yesterday) Permalink

^cosign!

haha someone is trying to psych me on okc tonight but i am a mood

What if it was the video to Self Control by Laura Branigan?

uh best possible option? I've wanted to make a ridic lavender scarf and get boots like that for a long time.

Yes!!!!

What if the 80s video was You Trip Me Uo by the JAMC? I have certainly gone on dates dressed like that. And would instantly love anyone who did the same!

I fear I went on my last date dressed like 80s Bono. I blame Laurel for that tho.

What 80s video characters would You date would be a great thread idea.

I would love to date someone who dressed like they were in the JAMC! YEAH!

I'll get that sex change tomorrow, shall I? ;)

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_izmPlB9MQ8I/SX2trS3XQ-I/AAAAAAAAApE/OMna0D65348/s400/qwwq.BMP

THIS IS NOT A REBEL DATE

LOL

80s Bono was kinda cute...

::shoots self::

OK, going to wear my JMAC Automatic tour t-shirt on my next OKC date.

excuse my drunkenness, JAMC.

once I was at the post office wearing it, and the guy behind me was like "jesus and mary chain? is that a band like DC Talk*?" and I said "yeah, they're just like that."

*a shitty US Christian rock band with wide appeal

sellout

/me digs out april skies shirt

not sure where my automatic shirt is. probably being used as a duster...