Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

Loudmouth knowitalls who ride in on their stupid white horse to answer a question you've posed to a group of people, failing at solving said problem, and then trapping you in the world's most annoying conversation where they provide alternate heroic solutions to your problem, none of which a) work or b) apply

Shut up and accept that you cannot help me in this instance PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK

failing = fail

ugh my tenses are all over the shop, bad grammar me oy

Sulia, twitlonger and other ways of posting long tweets that force me to click a link to leave my app in order to read the end of a sentence.

140 characters or get a blog.

IA, too effin hot edition:

Yes, it is raining. It's also going to be in the mid-80s and humid as a hobo's armpit so YOU DO NOT NEED TO WEAR KNEE-HIGH RUBBER RAIN BOOTS. You huge fucking dummies.

I also get a little IA at women who wear wigs when it's in the 90s because I don't know if I'm angry at the women or angry at the world for not letting women with thinning hair ditch the wig and let the wind cool their scalp.

And finally, the ding dong on the train this morning who was sporting this haircut on the way to his day job:

http://fashionindie.lookbooks.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/picture-2210-350x504.png

It's also going to be in the mid-80s and humid as a hobo's armpit so YOU DO NOT NEED TO WEAR KNEE-HIGH RUBBER RAIN BOOTS.

God, so many of those yesterday. They're going to be wetter on the inside of the boots than the outside if my body's response to humidity is anything to go by.

SERIOUSLY. Seriously. The best thing to wear when it's this hot and raining this hard, IMO, is flip flops or crocs or something. Of course then you're giving in and soaking your feet in filthy street water.

Hey, I just thought of a benefit to the "mop sink" in our women's bathroom where people are supposed to wash their dishes*. You can wash your street-water-soaked feet in them before you change into dry shoes at work.

*The claim is that food clogs up the sinks in our bathroom, but terrible plumbing installed by sub-par, sweetheart contractors that has not been replaced or repaired for 30 years is what clogs up our bathroom sinks and I refuse to crouch in a dark, dirty closet washing dishes in a mop sink.

I got IA recently when it was like 100 degrees and I saw multiple hippieish college kids wearing giant knit winter hats around. They had shorts / sandals / t-shirts on so it isn't like they were immune to heat.

Talked about this before, but my first year at Pitchfork (I think it was Intonation, even), it was in the high 90s and there was this kid wearing a fur-lined Russian ear flap hat. I hope the medical tent refused service when he inevitably arrived for treatment for heat stroke. "Sorry, but you're an idiot. Best of luck."

Seeing this come up when I was googling for something else made me go "wtf, no", click on it, and become IA:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U2charist

You've got to be kidding me.

If you play this backwards while packing up the host, Ronny James Dio appears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqh6x29bc64

This Bongo thing had a thread to itself
HAHAHA! OH MY GOD BONO NOOOO SOMEONE MAKE HIM STOP OH THE HUMANITY

I like that my (current) state 2-letter abbreviation is the same as that used for issues in this thread. Some days it should be the state motto as well.

People who, when they get somewhere in the vicinity of you, but nowhere near the possibility of actually colliding or otherwise brushing up against you, whether they are in a store pushing a cart or in their car driving down neighborhood streets filled with pedestrians and bicyclists, act like it is the most incredible inconvenience to have to make some kind of minor correction in their movements based on the astonishing fact that someone else occupies their world.

The people I am thinking of who are pushing shopping carts tend to jerk dramatically and act like they are about to fall off a cliff. For some reason I had extraordinary numbers of such "run-ins" while shopping in natural foods stores in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The people I am thinking of who are driving cars tend to honk or yell out of their vehicles. Because they feel safe then, being in a car, that they won't have to actually deal with you face to face. I suppose I have met these car-driving-cowards everywhere, but the ones fresh in my mind operate here in corn land.

Talked about this before, but my first year at Pitchfork (I think it was Intonation, even), it was in the high 90s and there was this kid wearing a fur-lined Russian ear flap hat. I hope the medical tent refused service when he inevitably arrived for treatment for heat stroke. "Sorry, but you're an idiot. Best of luck."

we saw the hold steady at taste of randolph last month, and there was a dude there wearing a trapper hat emblazoned with reindeer.

a long time ago at the touch and go anniversary show while whichever of albini's bands was doing their reunion set first was tuning up there was a kid sitting on the asphalt, facing away from the stage, reading a book of kafka's short stories. i like to believe that was a time traveling albini from the past who came specifically to blow off his own set, but i think a time traveling albini would have enough style to know that in chicago you read nelson algren while blowing off a band.

This Bongo thing had a thread to itself
HAHAHA! OH MY GOD BONO NOOOO SOMEONE MAKE HIM STOP OH THE HUMANITY

Oh yeah. I love that thread. Any thread that mocks Bono, really.

lol at the Kafka kid.

I am not very good at dressing season-appropriately in summer (because nobody needs even a slight risk of seeing any more of my flesh than they already can) but please shoot me if I start on the trapper hats in record June heatwaves.

I used to go down to the local open mic night and take a paperback to amuse me during the inevitable 6000 versions of "Come Together". I think I thought that somehow some fellow iconoclast (ha) would spot me and think I was intellectual, but strangely enough the only comment you get reading Borges at the back of the pub in a small town is WHY DO YOU READ WEIRD BOOKS? I LIKE STEPHEN KING.

IS THAT THE BIBLE? IT LOOKS BIG ENOUGH.

WHATCHOO READIN' FOR?

(Bill Hicks bit)

People who walk like they are pretending to be velociraptors in a drama class, and are really hard to overtake when you are in a hurry.

a long time ago at the touch and go anniversary show while whichever of albini's bands was doing their reunion set first was tuning up there was a kid sitting on the asphalt, facing away from the stage, reading a book of kafka's short stories.

Was it in this thread that we talked about annoying kids (it's always kids) who sit on floors in inappropriate places like on subway platforms and buses? I hate those kids, and the Kafka kid is one of them.

There was a kid in some of my college English classes who would randomly sit on the floor next to his chair. One time he sat under the table for a while during class. I hope he was having mental health problems b/c otherwise he was a dick.

I like that my (current) state 2-letter abbreviation is the same as that used for issues in this thread. Some days it should be the state motto as well.

One of the publications in my company's arsenal is called Innovate Arkansas, frequently abbreviated to "You've Been Posting To ILX For Too Long."

Also, Vic (and mh), if you say the first two words of this community college, it kinda sounds like a certain messageboard.

http://www.theguillotine.com/youth/0708/camps/iowalakes/iowalakeslogo.gif

Was it in this thread that we talked about annoying kids (it's always kids) who sit on floors in inappropriate places like on subway platforms and buses? I hate those kids, and the Kafka kid is one of them.

Maybe on the Chicago thread? I was thinking about when, years ago, Jeff and I went to see Godspeed You Black Emperor in an ~~art space~~ in NC somewhere and the kids gathered seated cross-legged in front of the stage like it was god damn story time. That was around the time it started occurring to me that I was Getting Too Old for This Shit.

I was thinking about that just this weekend, I mean. I don't remember why. Probably because some disgusting savage was sitting somewhere he had no business sitting as a full grown adult.

Kids who sit in stupid places are like this 17 or 18 year old girl I (and you, carl) used to work with who ate with her fingers (even stuff like, salad, cake, and risotto) and walked in the rain w/out an umbrella and drew all over her hands in ink. Despite all her stupid, affected shit, she was funny and smart and I liked working with her, but those little shits who sit places don't have personality going for them.

It was gross when she showed up for work in soaked clothes and dripping hair. For her job slicing and serving cake and pastries FFS.

LOL I'll never escape the memory of her shoveling salad into her mouth with her ranch dressing-covered fingers.

gross, gross, gross

SERIOUSLY. Seriously.

Eww!!

J, I am pretty sure that I used this thread to bitch about a kid who was sitting on the floor during rush hour on the subway. But I am on my phone so I can't check it easily.

yeah but in canada even the subway floors are clean

It's true. He was actually on the very newest one (they launched 2 super fancy new ones about six months ago) so there wasn't even that much built in grime. However, I almost fell on him, so he would've been clean but dead.

one of my best friends is a finger-eater for eeeevvvvverything and it grosses me out so bad

damn smoke some kush everybody.
Is there a way to hide threads?

Not clicking on them works! ;) flippancy due to the kush in my left hand ;)

would you say the existence of this thread is making you irrationally angry

xp

well played

what a pro

wait does me not owning an umbrella make me innocuously disgusting

I own two umbrellas and forget to use them... oh every time it rains

I always wonder who these weird people are who have the foresight to check the weather and actually bring an umbrella with them because it's gonna rain later in the day

It's just one of those things I will never be able to do, so sometimes I walk outside in the rain and get wet

I check the weather every morning and bring an umbrella as needed. But I spend 10-15 minutes outside in the elements during my commute so getting rained on could potentially make my day extremely uncomfortable.

Like, walking to a car in the rain, no biggie. Standing fully exposed to the elements while waiting god knows how long for a bus then train, potentially a biggie.

Oh this woman Jesse's talking about would come in to a food service job at a casual fine dining restaurant literally soaked, like dripping hair wetter than towel dried, wet t-shirt contest-esquely wet shirt bc she didn't believe in umbrellas as like a ~thing~. So none of this "Am I a disgusting savage for not using an umbrella?" stuff bc it's not equivalent.

Unless you are going to serve food to people looking like you walked though a car wash on the way to work, in which case, yes, you are a disgusting savage.

Yeh, she strolled from home to work in the rain. I would rather believe that she was doing it b/c she was cultivating a mellow demeanor rather than b/c she was ~against~ umbrellas b/c she was funny and somehow a cool to work with despite everything and carl remember you liked her too b/c she was funny and cool and SHE WAS FUNNY AND COOL TO WORK WITH, JESSE! ARE YOU LISTENING?

people referring to their partner or whatever with the definite article, like "the boyfriend says". when a man does it feels sort of archaic and irish and sexist, like "the wife" in a "her indoors" way, yet i feel like a girl doing it feels just oddly modern. i read this food blog recently and every post had 3/4 "i love star anise, but the boyfriend, HATES it" or "when the boyfriend has been out with his pals for some beers."

it's as if "the boyfriend" is a giant stone edifice, ever watching.

i keep a nice, compact umbrella in the bag i carry with me every day, so i always have it with me.

Me too. Except when I forget it or have lost it.

I get angry when I check the weather report, bring an umbrella, and the promised/threatened rain fails to materialize, so I'm stuck traveling to and from work with a useless umbrella. Especially since when I do this, I never see anyone else with an umbrella, so I feel like the one asshole who didn't get the memo.

No, it's totally cool. I think carrying around an unused umbrella adds a little something. Old-timey class or something.

I just keep mine in my bag. I don't carry around Mary Poppins umbrella.

Bag contains: notebook, glasses, umbrella, gloves, pencils, book. Every day. How would you do without this stuff?