Should I go fishing or get a friend to hang around? Celebrated GAY Summer 2012

(which if you haven't heard it is essential listening btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyjuUu_XDZ8

Eric you should pretend like you're not in Chicago until we can hang. :)

I probably should've. My cousin also texted me wondering why I didn't give him a heads up. Next time, tho!

more weddings this weekend -- bittersweet symphonies etc

None of my friends have gotten married yet; what gives??

they're careful

My best friend from high school got married a year out of high school (I was his best man). Went a full decade before any other weddings after that, with a friend getting married two years ago and my sister getting married last year. 3 weddings in my entire adult life seems kinda low.

ahaha morbz.

anyway, you'd all be shocked and horrified at the filth i live in. "shmo-sexual"? whatever, i'm "hobo-sexual." and proud.

marriage = what straight friends from high school do. NONE of my good friends from college have been married yet. don't really care if they do.

that said, l3na dunh4m still returns my phone calls. so eh.

me and th3o rode the motorcycle, hung out by the lake, and are now sewing and working in my room drinking whiskey and listening to NWA.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/391606_250688265049188_2131860574_n.jpg

sassy!

I think all my peers and relations are done with weddings, even the double dippers.

2 more weddings this year, and then I think I can cool it for awhile.

no impending marriages on the horizon but i imagine they'll ramp up over the next few years

If attending fewer weddings is a sign of getting older, I'm glad I had 4 this year.

hello. i have a bit of a question. there is a guy i met on the internet who i have been chatting with on various devices. the first time we e-met, i had a picture up that was like not very flattering. sometimes i do that as a test. anyway he still followed up so i was into that. but lately i've been sending him, you know, good pictures, and i don't always look like that, and now he might want to meet up and he's uncomfortably good looking and it's scary. what do i do here, do i meet up with him anyway? he's on another level tbh...

Surm, yes, meet up with him. He's obviously interested.

"He's on another level?" Blah. I hate this line of thinking. It's like when people say "he/she's outta my league." You shouldn't want the best for yourself?

i want the best for myself but

i kind of feel like jack black in one of those movies sometimes

or something

:|

he just sent me a text saying he wishes he was in my pocket

surm, the worst picture of you has got to look p good, doll.

he wishes he was small change?

how are you today morbz

sleepy!

you are certifiably Super Cute ramz, don't sweat this, also screw "levels"

surm, if you don't meet him I'll bust your pretty face

I misread that

almost wrote "buss"

which I will when we finally meet

:) k if i have him over i will let u know

(we did the cam thing and let's just say my laptop could barely contain itself)

if it was in yr lap it may have reached eye level

lol. you're the best surm *hugs*

the boy is getting propositioned left right and centre in new york and still too timid mostly to do anything about it.

trying to encourage/help him feel more confident without pushing him to do something he doesn't want to. kind of weird coaching your bf through picking up guys, but strangely not weird at all?

If you don't mind me asking (and furthermore, don't mind me asking in a public forum), how do you find that this kind of relationship setup works for you?

Anyone else here with similar insights/experiences feel free to chime in too, of course.

talking to pepole via camera?

um. still figuring it out? it works well, but like any relationship requires open communication and honesty? it started off as a pragmatic calculation because he was 100% new at teh ghey when we started dating, and resentment and constraint were not things I wanted to be associated with.

it remained theoretical for the first eight months or so, and is still mostly theoretical more often. up until recently whenever either of us have indulged it's been a bit weird - not bad, just still something we were getting used to (and i'm still slightly more comfortable with him doing so than vice-versa, i think?) it's something we're growing into, but it's something that works for us in principle and more and more works for us in practice.

but i know it works differently for different people. some just aren't able to get into that headspace, some don't feel the need to, and others can and do and do so more frequently or more extensively than us. parameters vary based on what the two of you are or aren't comfortable with.

i dunno. when i first came out i was *really* uncomfortable with the idea of openness and was kind of a dick / far too intrusive/curious /impolite to the handful of my friends who were in that situation, and now it just seems normal to me - for me. (for us - it might not be normal if i were in another relationship with someone else, you know?)

but there are definitely ILX gayz who have longer experiences navigating such relationship dynamics than i do and who have talked about it before at length in earlier threads.

Alex you are sounding like a very encouraging bf. I would not be so freasy with any bf in NYC, surrounded by gay NYC incubi

Like it's "whoa he brought me a drink that was 5oz of tequila and suddenly I'm at the Cock doing MDMA with a child and Bruce Vilanch and then his apartment was in the Bronx and by the way I'm a smoker now"

An hour in and I haven't really gotten much camp value from this either.
Cliche is fine if you've got personality but this shit is flat like pancke
lol THIS JUST IN: GLITTER IS DULL, BAD, AND BORING

You'll probably also want to go ahead and skip Burlesque, too.

I saw that in the theater and had p much the exact same reaction and actually kept thinking of "Burlesque" during "Glitter"

xp

Owen, what does "freasy" mean? And why Incubi?

Of the two times post-coming out I was in NYC, one was on a super domestic homonormative four day trip with the boy where we went to a lot of museums and stayed in a hostel and saw Bernadette in Follies and he was too nervous/oblivious for me to respond on our behalf to any of the advances made by cute boys in galleries and tall blonde waiters at brunch places, and the other was for the EMP Conference, where I was too busy attending awesome K-pop panels and queer theory whatever to engage in any New York debauchery, so I haven't been to the Cock or been to the Bronx or been bought drinks by men in sketchy bars with Bruce Villanch.

I keep meaning to go back, but funds don't permit right now, and I'm pretty sure that future trips to the city will be taken together, so I just want to live vicariously through him. Although having now seen pictures of the potential conquest (or I guess conqueror, because my guy's too shy to be anything but the conquest) I'm now riding the line between encouraging and mildly (but not inappropriately) jealous (not that it's happening, just that i'm not involved/invited, because hot *damn*)

the most difficult part, it seems, isn't being ok with it happening, but letting him have experiences that are entirely his?

Thanks for the detailed response, Alex.

This is far more of hypothetical than practical interest to me; not only has it never been on the table, but I've never really seen the point. Threesomes/groupsex seem far more fun and practical, and far less likely to lead to issues. Not judging, of course--I was just genuinely curious (and the fact that this has been discussed here before proves that maybe I should be doing my ILX homework), as the one friend I've had who has told me about his experiences in this situation had far less positive things to say about it. But I guess this gets to the heart of how every relationship is different and it is all a matter of both partners being on board (I always got the feeling that in the case of my one friend he was never really in favor of the situation).

it's weird. i would have thought that that option would have been easier, too, but he seems slightly more uncomfortable with that than with each of us having our own thing, and if anything, he seems most uncomfortable with how comfortable i am at the prospect of him exploring.

i'm learning to dial down my excitement/encouragement/whatever because if i'm *too* happy for him is when we're more likely to butt heads. so to speak.

being this frank on a public internet space = terrible idea, probably. paging just1ce l0ri d0ugl4s etc.

who what what?

judge in canada who is currently being subjected to like potential de-judge-ing or whatever because she and her husband took some kinky naked photos and those somehow became public and now she is a disgrace to public office or whatever because kinky sex photos!

Good thing I never plan on being reputable.

Threesomes are a great idea in theory and they can be awesome but they can also go REALLY wrong and turn into two people having sex in a bed with someone else, which has not happened to me but has happened to people I know.

Actually wait that is exactly what happened to me but I wasn't the someone else and the someone else was too much of a sex noob to notice/care

meanwhile, Sally Ride's family says she was mum on her same-sex partner for 27 years bcz "we're Norwegian through and through."

Good on her.

freasy is free + easy, and it sounds like a frozen dessert. incubi was a polite and hopefully non-judgemental way of saying that in my experience NYC men are aggressive in their sexual pursuit.

men of NYC - do you have a response?

xp I didn't know that was what Norwegian meant.