slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

lol @ "rumble your jungle"

Abbs, do you know of L@ur@ Szum0sk1? I don't know if she more considered an illustrator as opposed to a comic artist, but she does a lot of stuff like that Dar comic.

I don't!

I bought a cheap back massager from Brookstone many years ago (i have chronic back pain) and never even gave a thought that the lady behind the sales counter may think I had other uses in mind. (it turned out to be a crappy back massager - it almost hurts - and wouldn't dream of using it for anything else).

my friend's mom bought her a massager for christmas one year...It's a U shaped thing that plugs in. We call it the 'horse dildo'...it's the weirdest looking thing.

My parents had a pretty heavy-duty back massager, the kind that's like a pencil-sharpened shaped robot that you strap to your hand and then the vibes are transmitted by hand. And my mom or dad would give us backrubs with it when we were kids, which I of course liked a lot. When I grew up I realized maybe they used it for sex and I felt disgusted. I WENT TOO FAR and asked my mom if that was the case, and she was mad at me. She said they didn't.

A lot of people dont, afaik

Unto the pure all things are pure.

my friend's mom bought her a massager for christmas one year...It's a U shaped thing that plugs in. We call it the 'horse dildo'...it's the weirdest looking thing.

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 3:35 PM (2 hours ago)

i was having serious neck pain a while back, and a friend gave me his horse dildo. apparently, his ex-girlfriend's parents had given it to him for christmas a while back, when they were still together? (shoutout to dangling modifier thread woot.)

anyway, i never used it, and neither did he - allegedly - but, man, his horse was fucking pissed.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/fifty-shades-of-grey-now-also-ruining-classic-lite,82638/

Fifty Shades Of Grey now also ruining classic literature

-
Jane Austen and more get a "sexy" makeover, because that's where we're at now
-
By Sean O'Neal July 18, 2012
-
Aside from inspiring everything from increased sales of classical music to all-sex-toys-and-shame-included hotel packages to memberships to "Sugar Daddy" websites, in addition to the sudden realization by women that their vaginas can be used for things other than storing children or occasional jars of preserves, Fifty Shades Of Grey is causing huge ramifications in the world of literature. And not just by influencing modern authors have who struggled for years over their very personal artistic statements—only to learn that E.L. James is raking in over $1 million a week for essentially rewriting Twilight with spanking instead of vampires—to just say fuck it, and start writing novels like The Girl Who Met The Hot, Brooding Rich Guy And Maybe They Used Anal Beads, You Sexually Repressed Shut-In.

No, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Fifty Shades has even begun to retroactively penetrate classics of yore, which is a sexy word that people like to read. "Penetrate," he gasped, instantly earning us thousands of dollars. Anyway, digital publisher Clandestine Classics has now taken the recent "Jane Austen plus zombies" formula to its dismally logical conclusion with Fifty Shades-inspired versions of books like Jane Eyre, Pride And Prejudice, Northanger Abbey, Sherlock Holmes: A Study In Scarlet, and 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, all with added sex scenes and—to quote a passage from the "enhanced" Pride And Prejudice—steamy descriptions like this one of Mr. Darcy: "Hot, spicy, and all man." The books will be targeted at both straight and, in the case of Sherlock Holmes, gay readers, with the homoerotic relationship that Guy Ritchie's movies only implied between Holmes and Watson taken to a very literal place. No word on whether the sexed-up 20,000 Leagues will similarly be targeted at hentai fans who enjoy tentacle rape, but considering Clandestine insists that the books are "keeping the original prose and the author's voice," yes, probably.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Gim5YBkd1EA/TPYjCaFIEZI/AAAAAAAAABM/mvKBlJPFsA0/s1600/The_League_of_Extraordinary_Gentlemen_1280x1024.jpg

My pinterest name-stealer has this as a book worth reading: http://pinterest.com/abbirezz/

ugh she also has categories called "giggles" and "Delish"

fake Abbigs is gross

man, her food preferences do not bode well for her future

I can't wait until The University of Edward Masen gets turned into a real book!

Same plot, pretty much, except in this one "Christian Grey" will be a University professor specializing in the works of Dante.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeOmbD0hgmQ

OH LOLOL I CALLED IT, IT WAS ALREADY RE-PUBLISHED as "GABRIEL'S INFERNO"

http://www.amazon.com/Gabriels-Inferno-Sylvain-Reynard/dp/1936305623/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342735878&sr=8-1&keywords=gabriel%27s+inferno

oKAY WAIT IT APPEARS THIS THING IS POPULAR, TOO.

So this is a THING NOW, I see. Former Twilight fanfiction being published. I do remember the University of Edward Masen being written better than the Shades of Grey book, but there was some very clueless 'CLASSY' stuff thrown in like roses and soft classical music and I do believe at one point Edward sent Bella a big bouquet of Edible Arrangements. Which was lulzy.

haha classy indeed

also professors are classier than executives

there was some very clueless 'CLASSY' stuff thrown in like roses and soft classical music and I do believe at one point Edward sent Bella a big bouquet of Edible Arrangements. Which was lulzy.

LOL. You can tell that a lot of these Twilight fan fiction works have been written by older women, because they seem to have dated, corny ideas about romance.

Yes, very late 80's, early 90's. Rose petals, soft jazz music, candlelight. Edible Arrangements. Silk boxers.

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

funny review

You can tell that a lot of these Twilight fan fiction works have been written by older women, because they seem to have dated, corny ideas about romance.

And I suppose thats why this dreck is a bestseller, too! All these bored/unfulfilled women, reading about this weird fantasy life they'll never know... or something. I found out my SIL read and loved it and "felt lost" once she'd finished the book (ew, jeez) and I was actually surprised... to me, having that level of reaction to such a book is indicative of something srsly missing in one's life.

http://i1169.photobucket.com/albums/r512/shutterbird13/Angry/jwE8n.gif
My inner goddess will cap yours in the face if you don't shut the fuck up

do more of them, shakey..i can't figure out how to cut and paste those gifs

the prince one is pretty funny

edible boxers

"Jeez," I thought, as I ate his shorts.

Oh that review was priceless. The ITCrowd gif at the end.

She has a friend named Jose?

No way!

lol

there was some very clueless 'CLASSY' stuff thrown in like roses and soft classical music and I do believe at one point Edward sent Bella a big bouquet of Edible Arrangements.

LOL. You can tell that a lot of these Twilight fan fiction works have been written by older women, because they seem to have dated, corny ideas about romance.

Yes, very late 80's, early 90's. Rose petals, soft jazz music, candlelight. Edible Arrangements. Silk boxers.

Oh MAN I wish I could find the actual scene, but the soundtrack from it will have to do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwrRkOSIoLs

What about shooting thru rain streaming down windows panes into a bedroom filled with candles and a princess canopy bed?

http://www.topgear.com/uk/photos/Top-Gears-50-Shades-of-Grey-2012-07-19

from my boy's facebook tonite:

Advice for life, never google stuff you aren't aware of at all, e.g. let's say someone called Noel Breadwort googled 50 Shades of Grey after hearing 500 jokes about it... whoops...

"He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what! And...gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet."
http://i1169.photobucket.com/albums/r512/shutterbird13/WTF/AQV9L.gif

lol oh dear

Yeah that line/gif 1-2 was the best.

Emma Watson as Ana in the film? REALLY?

No.

I refuse to accept that.

nooooooooooo

DON'T LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU HERMIONE

or that, or that, or that, or...

I get wanting to do something different, but everything is wrong with Emma Watson being in a movie adaptation of this tripe.

can't it just be Kristen Stewart