Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

ppl who grab their purses for fire alarms/drills

i want to send them back into the building bc I am a fire drill nazi

I posit that the absolute worst people for clumping right in the doorway of an otherwise roomy train car or bus are CHICAGO CUBS fans. I have no time for that shit and am pretty horrible about telling people they need to get the hell out of the doorway. Same with "Step the fuck out of the train and let people out!" at the dipshits who like to hang out in the door and leave a tiny, anus-sized portal through which alighting passengers can emerge.

Chicago Cubs fans are the worst. #GOCARDS

ugh i totally agree abt the clumping at the doorway. the corollary to that is that when ppl are getting off and you are IN the train, but in those coveted spots right next to the door, sometimes you will have to move out of your spot to let people off the train. you can't just hunch to the side when there is a stampede of people getting off a big stop.

yesterday i was waiting to get on the train, but letting people off like you are supposed to do, and there was this COUPLE just couldn't wait for folks to get off, so they barged ahead of me, holding hands. i got so IA that i walked right through their stupid linked hands and said JESUS CHRIST.

Hahaha nice.

tourists, possibly more tourist kids who take up half the pavement standing in groups when it's difficult enough to walk without bumping into people. Busy streets with everybody vying for space, people not watching where they're going. People cutting across you to get to doorways when you're already trying to work out how to avoid bumping into people coming out.

Plus the circular crowd around a street entertainment which means there's a minute alley around the outside that everybody actually trying to walk on the street has to compete over the use of. & extended families are expecting to stay walking together through. & you're trying to remain somewhat polite.

Good work, rayuela.

Clueless and helpless people who make no effort to correct their conditions are not candidates for even the bare minimum of politeness. The very least they could do would be to be ashamed of their cluelessness or helplessness! I thought about this on the bus on Monday when a gaggle of ditzy kids around 18 years old tried to board my bus. Some didn't have their cards ready, some weren't facing the right way (talking about people facing the right way, not the cards), some tried to put the card in the cash slot - all possibly forgivable problems, but on top of them, NONE of them learned ANYTHING from the mistakes of the others in front of them! Some froze and fumbled and stammered and some giggled.

The bus driver lost patience and dropped all courtesy and started bellowing like a drill sergeant at these idiots "YOU'RE PUTTING THE CARD IN THE WRONG SLOT - PUT IT THERE - PUT THE CARD THERE - PUT YOUR CARD RIGHT THERE IN THAT SLOT RIGHT THERE PUT IT RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!! and I just wanted to run up there and bellow along with him. I mean, really! I was once 18 and terrified by the DC Metro, but I paid attention and tried my best and tried to mitigate my disruptiveness.

missing limited edition box sets cos you order through something online you take to be the official channel and it turns out you've actually had your order put on hold.

& thinking back it was probably cos the main site kept veering between rejecting the password it then seemed to recognise.

So you've been wondering why this supposedly great set hasn't appeared.
& now you find out why and it's probably just after the thing's totally sold out.
so you panic and forget how to punctuate

Stevolende, if you are talking about the same box set you mentioned on the other thread, the UK Amazon still has it in stock.

I hate when ol dladies bend over and they have white panties on that are showing through their whit4e skirt and they DONT say "enjoyin the view? hehehhe"

You know what'll get you in too deep too fast? GIS for "bent over old woman underpants yard sign."

General Mills?

Stevolende, if you are talking about the same box set you mentioned on the other thread, the UK Amazon still has it in stock.

― heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 8:24 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't think that's the limited one. There are 2 versions.

people capitalising the first letter of a three-word phrase in that twee way, like - "I also enjoy A Good Book." Or "of course we can't have that, as those are Very Important Rules."

was thinking just this morning how people choose the narrowest space to stop and stand in. i think it's a natural thing, pausing at thresholds. it's a transition. i call it The Janus Principle. still bugs me though, how people at work will have impromptu meetings in the corridor rather than moving 5ft in either direction.

worst is the local supermarket employees who, when stocking shelves, will park the trolley so that it blocks half the aisle and then stand in the other half of the aisle whilst putting the stuff out.

oh god I do that LOL capitals thing all the time. I am sorry. So Very Sorry.

i don't mind it for emphasis, it's a really specific use of it that drives me mad, like if someone is trying appear like they are mocking Something Very Serious because they are having A Bit Of Fun.

It's probably safe to say that I do it in a way that would make you IA. But it's okay! This is a pretty picky thread and Emphatic Ironic Capitalization is not the first or only of my sins. I promise if we ever communicate directly I will keep a lid on it.

that's why i hate reading 16th century puritanical tracts. like we get it, you're self aware

the snack enlightenment ad. Racial stereotype or what?
Wearing at me, possibly cos of the ad being annoying anyway.
Just reminded of an old girlfriend getting p-ed at the Dolmio ad for stereotyping of Italians. Cloying anyway.

spectators at golf tournaments who feel the need to shout 'get in the hole' after every shot

(and i see golf like once a year)

I thought people were supposed to be all hushed and reverent at golf tournaments. I've watched about ten minutes total of golf on TV in my entire life, though, so.

you're to be hushed and reverent while someone is preparing/actually swinging, but after the shot you can be (drunk and) annoying

People who water their lawn are bad enough, but people who don't set up their sprinkler right and end up watering the sidewalk really make me angry

Me, too! Triple IA if they do this in mid-afternoon.

double yahtzee if they are too lazy to change their timer settings during winter and the shit is going when it's RAINING.

sour blueberries mixed in with sweet ones are making me IA today

People who water their lawn when there are big signs saying NO OUTSIDE WATER USE: Town Water Department on the street.

forms i have to print out

i am a freelancer, i don't have access to office equipment, i don't own a printer, half the shitty internet cafés round here won't open pdfs anyway, why can't people use the pdfs you can edit and email back AAARGHH

on the subway this morning, i got up to offer my seat to a blind man with a cane, and some other non-impaired schlub intercepted and grabbed the seat. so i lost my seat and the blind guy had to stand anyway. i wish i'd said something.

if i start eating a banana and realize it isn't quite ripe enough. every bite becomes an affront and a humiliation. i feel like that dude in notes from the underground, the one who was always getting humiliated and affronted.

next time, freeze & blend for banana ice cream! /healthy snacks thread

I get IA if the banana is too ripe. I like them a little on the greens side.

Underripe bananas make my teeth feel fuzzy. Overripe bananas smell fermented. Perfectly ripe bananas still suffer from being bananas.

YOU'RE bananas.

http://neuroticcity.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/hollaback-girl-video-pics-gwen-stefani-49050_500_332.jpg

Overripe bananas are fluffy, and pungent, and sorta mealy and they gross me out. Slightly green have a nice tang, firm...but yeah I hate if their too green and they leave that icky fur all over your mouth

it's a very frustrating non-sciencey science.

the coloration of a banana's peel is also often a pernicious lie. just this morning i peeled a banana that appeared perfect on the outside but which was, in fact, not ripe enough by a long shot. bananas are unreliable narrators.

yes!! they lie and lie

suggest bananas

Loudmouth knowitalls who ride in on their stupid white horse to answer a question you've posed to a group of people, failing at solving said problem, and then trapping you in the world's most annoying conversation where they provide alternate heroic solutions to your problem, none of which a) work or b) apply

Shut up and accept that you cannot help me in this instance PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK

failing = fail

ugh my tenses are all over the shop, bad grammar me oy

Sulia, twitlonger and other ways of posting long tweets that force me to click a link to leave my app in order to read the end of a sentence.

140 characters or get a blog.

IA, too effin hot edition:

Yes, it is raining. It's also going to be in the mid-80s and humid as a hobo's armpit so YOU DO NOT NEED TO WEAR KNEE-HIGH RUBBER RAIN BOOTS. You huge fucking dummies.

I also get a little IA at women who wear wigs when it's in the 90s because I don't know if I'm angry at the women or angry at the world for not letting women with thinning hair ditch the wig and let the wind cool their scalp.

And finally, the ding dong on the train this morning who was sporting this haircut on the way to his day job:

http://fashionindie.lookbooks.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/picture-2210-350x504.png

It's also going to be in the mid-80s and humid as a hobo's armpit so YOU DO NOT NEED TO WEAR KNEE-HIGH RUBBER RAIN BOOTS.

God, so many of those yesterday. They're going to be wetter on the inside of the boots than the outside if my body's response to humidity is anything to go by.

SERIOUSLY. Seriously. The best thing to wear when it's this hot and raining this hard, IMO, is flip flops or crocs or something. Of course then you're giving in and soaking your feet in filthy street water.

Hey, I just thought of a benefit to the "mop sink" in our women's bathroom where people are supposed to wash their dishes*. You can wash your street-water-soaked feet in them before you change into dry shoes at work.

*The claim is that food clogs up the sinks in our bathroom, but terrible plumbing installed by sub-par, sweetheart contractors that has not been replaced or repaired for 30 years is what clogs up our bathroom sinks and I refuse to crouch in a dark, dirty closet washing dishes in a mop sink.

I got IA recently when it was like 100 degrees and I saw multiple hippieish college kids wearing giant knit winter hats around. They had shorts / sandals / t-shirts on so it isn't like they were immune to heat.

Talked about this before, but my first year at Pitchfork (I think it was Intonation, even), it was in the high 90s and there was this kid wearing a fur-lined Russian ear flap hat. I hope the medical tent refused service when he inevitably arrived for treatment for heat stroke. "Sorry, but you're an idiot. Best of luck."

Seeing this come up when I was googling for something else made me go "wtf, no", click on it, and become IA:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U2charist