"I don't watch Seinfeld. I only watch TV for the nature documentaries."
― second dullest ILXor since 1929 (snoball), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 16:11 (thirteen years ago)
i feel good about not getting that reference.i also think mine is pretty good.
― This clam, stranded on someone’s floor, is trying to dig itself (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 21:01 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm a cahhwp!"
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 21:10 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/09/03/p465/120903_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 09:06 (thirteen years ago)
"I asked if he's OK with male/male contact during this and he whispered, 'No.'"
― Darren Robocopsky (Phil D.), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 11:33 (thirteen years ago)
"Apparently, he thinks it was too quiet.."
― Mark G, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 11:43 (thirteen years ago)
Or, "The Monkeys You Ordered" version:
"THIS MAN IS IN BED WITH US!"
― Mark G, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 11:44 (thirteen years ago)
"It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, uhh, the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. You know, I think there should be some punishment, but I think the punishment ought to be of the rapist and not attacking the child."
― Hadrian VIII, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:02 (thirteen years ago)
"We're going to get to the bottom of this orgasm thing."
― Mordy, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:05 (thirteen years ago)
oh golly xp
― it's in your face but you can't (Crabbits), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:06 (thirteen years ago)
"I know I'm not the best lover but I can't believe you hired a private dick!"
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:11 (thirteen years ago)
ha!
― it's in your face but you can't (Crabbits), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:12 (thirteen years ago)
"I think someone's spying on us while we have sex."
― wise men farting over you (snoball), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:20 (thirteen years ago)
"I've hired this PI to find out who wrote 'Walsh' on our bedroom carpet."
― wise men farting over you (snoball), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:21 (thirteen years ago)
"He's just for cupping the balls!"
― Hadrian VIII, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 13:29 (thirteen years ago)
in a better world, "he's just for cupping the balls!" would easily win
― Thanks WEBSITE!! (Z S), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 14:27 (thirteen years ago)
"He followed me home. Can I keep him?"
― This cad needs a cordial introduction to Eugene of Oxbow. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:09 (thirteen years ago)
"I know you like ska, honey, but this is ONE STEP BEYOND"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:18 (thirteen years ago)
"I didn't tell him to wear a raincoat! I only told him your a squirter!"
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:41 (thirteen years ago)
you're. Damn phone.
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 21:42 (thirteen years ago)
i said we needed more fun in the boudoir not more men into... neo noir!
― hail dayton (brownie), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 22:53 (thirteen years ago)
lolll
― ayonanas (Matt P), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 22:54 (thirteen years ago)
can you hand me that glass of water?
― hail dayton (brownie), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 22:55 (thirteen years ago)
"Look at this fucking hipster"
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:06 (thirteen years ago)
"I know you said you wouldn't in any case, but just wanted to let you know, this guy's been eating crackers."
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:32 (thirteen years ago)
"He's on the case of the missing libido."
― Mordy, Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:34 (thirteen years ago)
not bad
― This cad needs a cordial introduction to Eugene of Oxbow. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:52 (thirteen years ago)
"This sillouhette with hands and half a face has nowhere else to sleep tonight."
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 August 2012 23:59 (thirteen years ago)
"It's some kind of prequel to The Big Sleep."
― eatandoph (Neue Jesse Schule), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 00:20 (thirteen years ago)
"let's be reasonable, he did bring his own pillow."
― tubular, mondo, gnabry (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 00:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Lay it again, Sam."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 00:53 (thirteen years ago)
were you followed?
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 01:11 (thirteen years ago)
"You might not mind Mallory, but I do, Alice."
or "Christ what an asshole"
― get you ass to mahs (abanana), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 15:47 (thirteen years ago)
"Does your husband always wear his trenchcoat to bed?"
― s.clover, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 15:59 (thirteen years ago)
"Ok, now get out the globe, and then remember to moan 'do it, Rockapella!'.
― s.clover, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 16:04 (thirteen years ago)
"He wants to know if we have any liquids, gels or pastes."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 16:39 (thirteen years ago)
"he's here to investigate why my end table is twice as big as yours"
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 16:45 (thirteen years ago)
"This is normal."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 16:46 (thirteen years ago)
"He says he's just a spy in the house of love."
― i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:00 (thirteen years ago)
"riveting!"
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:05 (thirteen years ago)
"Don't you think he's getting a little old for this?"
― i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:07 (thirteen years ago)
"One undercover dick wasn't enough for you?"
― This cad needs a cordial introduction to Eugene of Oxbow. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:08 (thirteen years ago)
'what? you SAID you'd do deep throat!'
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:10 (thirteen years ago)
HAhahaha
― look at this quarterstaff (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:18 (thirteen years ago)
submit that
i'm sure that right now the new yorker caption contest judge is sifting through dozens of entries that all say "shall we go ahead and rub our buttholes together?"
― Thanks WEBSITE!! (Z S), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:19 (thirteen years ago)
nilmar you have to put that in
― goole, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:21 (thirteen years ago)
otm
― darraghback (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:23 (thirteen years ago)
possibly revise to "no, i meant i want to jam my dick in your throat!" to meet their styleguide
― goole, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 17:24 (thirteen years ago)
that caption was (c) darragmac btw
― Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:02 (thirteen years ago)